Festering Dead Leaves Sam

“stop being racist to my computer friend” oh you mean your friend that is forced to do everything you demand it to do. that friend

Dressing in my most comfortable sweater and having a hot cocoa to shame the Clinton

Putting a little crown of flowers on his grave to piss off JFK

Making sweet lemonade on a hot July afternoon to spite Obama

Building a pleasant life for myself to own the libs

Not even a Modest Proposal either

... I have concerns

... how tf did they synthesize the very subtle flavor of camembert?

How hard can these get?

Men will literally live where all the therapists are already too busy to take new clients instead of going to therapy

Traumaturgy

Shattered dreams, betrayed ambitions, lost desires

I need an alter eggo

There's a bald spot where the scab went away with a bunch of hair

How's yours?

leggo my ego

the best way a woman can show her carnal love for other women is by covering dick with her saliva

it's just common sense

true lesbian icons gobble cock

taylor swift gobbles cock now which means gaylors need to start gobbling cock too it’s just science

if you disagree you are anti woman and anti feminist

real women gobble cock sloppy style

It's weird how nobody ever talks about the fact that we all hear incredibly loud discordant high-tempo circus music in our heads at all times

yea

I seem to have drunk-ordered hunting arrowheads 🤨

Wesley Snipes crying holding a g*n from new jack city

Blocking an account with ginormous boobs that just followed me because it’s clearly a catfish

Today’s horoscope: idiot.

What I lack in clarity of mind I make up for in something something whatever

Just because nobody has ever bothered to do it doesn't mean it isn't impressive

Do people who post things like "Jimmy's taking his driving test today. Please send prayers!" stop to consider that some people might pray that he fails?

October humidity is proof that there is no god and if there is he fucking hates us

What the fuck do you mean I got a longer prison sentence than Diddy

Myself? The one responsible for all that misery of mine?