Sham

What's up with farmers these days? Don't even slop their hogs anymore?? There hasn't been a recorded hog slop hoedown in over 60 years. What happened to traditional values?? I won't drink milk from an inslopped pig and that's final

You guys think it's weird they got porn on here? This is the millennials app they can't be whackin off that's not right. It would be like if I could buy some nogrophy at the local library. This is hardly the right environment for such a thing

THE MINCE POCKET!!!! I'm so glad they finally caught this fucking fiend he's a menace and deserves capital punishment

Free my guys

it is not too late to submit mail-in ballots - simply tape a picture of who you want to vote for above a footlong meatball marinara... and 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖐 on that fucking thang hahaaaa 😍🤤

I'm whippin my lash to this skeet rn

Can I introduce you to my friend Crimes?

Do both at once obviously

Took a hit of my friends bong and he told me not to hold it in but got mad when I told him why I've been so sad lately??

Just woke up from a dream where I was hanging out with a bunch of the animators and also Pharelle Williams around my dining table and I explained the mousepay tiktoks to them and we were all dying laughing except Pharelle.

If the day ever came where you did any, let alone all, of these things the sky would crack in half and you would be blessed in ways that may never truly reveal the extent of their bevenolence and bountiful fortunes but you would always know they are there

I hope that the time travellers that bailed on Hawkings party all collectively decide to put Whalberg on that plane and see what he really would have done

One time I saw a pigeon fall off a roof. Couldn't even flap hard enough to fly and save itself.

His most effortless of motions failed him when he needed them most. Think about that

I need a Costco Guys film reminiscent of 'The Departed' - wherein AJ & Big Justice are the father-son patriarchs of a Floridian crime family.

In the third act, their beloved adopted son, "The Rizzler" will be revealed as a deep-undercover police detective - his morals grey and lines blurred.

daily haiku:-

beans microwave
my bowl, a ballerina
a divorce dancer

daily haiku:-

"crime is on the rise"
first his cape, then boots
"send in... freakyon"

Do you guys think I'll ever find love again?

That's what I'm sayin man

divine ruminations

thinking of starting an open relationship but im gonna charge people to join call that my monopolycule

Gay John Wick be like "i have served"

tryna get a bead on what this place is about what time do we all get crazy and wild? like when do we all drop the New Place Sheen and start posting like little freaks? how do i know when its safe to start talkin about lil ghouls and weirdos and the bizarre thoughts in my mind

Alright I'm on bluesky now where the white women at