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Sailor Dog Handel

@sailordoghandel.bsky.social

Billboard-charting librettist. Day job: Chair of Dramatic Writing at Cranberry Muffin University https://linktr.ee/handelnyc

1,089 Followers  |  4,052 Following  |  311 Posts  |  Joined: 24.12.2023
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Posts by Sailor Dog Handel (@sailordoghandel.bsky.social)

The year is 2046: A group of masked TrumpCorp officials shoot protestors at the health casino. A reporter from FreePressWithCBS asks Don Jr's VP for life JD Vance about the shooting:
"Unfortunately, this, is a problem we inherited from the Biden administration"

26.02.2026 21:31 β€” πŸ‘ 1681    πŸ” 319    πŸ’¬ 55    πŸ“Œ 7
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This evening will be Mourning Noonan Night :(

18.02.2026 20:44 β€” πŸ‘ 19    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

I just slept for six consecutive hours for the first time in decades and now I can see the atoms moving in solid objects good god I’m immortal

17.02.2026 11:24 β€” πŸ‘ 143    πŸ” 28    πŸ’¬ 5    πŸ“Œ 0

OK Tracer Bullet was good but I assume we're all in agreement that this is the all-time BEST Calvin & Hobbes strip, correct

16.02.2026 00:16 β€” πŸ‘ 2362    πŸ” 436    πŸ’¬ 10    πŸ“Œ 0
River Cartwright

River Cartwright

Jackson Lamb

Jackson Lamb

How I see myself v. How other people see me

16.02.2026 02:19 β€” πŸ‘ 52    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 1

I know I would die so quickly in the wild because I really want to grab those antlers, those antlers look touchable as hell

16.02.2026 00:02 β€” πŸ‘ 86    πŸ” 11    πŸ’¬ 7    πŸ“Œ 1

The future is now

14.02.2026 18:33 β€” πŸ‘ 19    πŸ” 6    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

β€œand then this motherfucker puts a FEATHER in his CAP, and you are not gonna believe what he called that shit. guess. just fuckin guess.”

10.02.2026 22:48 β€” πŸ‘ 1497    πŸ” 268    πŸ’¬ 20    πŸ“Œ 7

no, babe, it’s okay that you’re not stacy’s mom. i still think you’ve got it going on.

10.02.2026 16:30 β€” πŸ‘ 173    πŸ” 50    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

It is actually

10.02.2026 19:30 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I’m a person of a certain age.

Isn’t everyone?

10.02.2026 10:53 β€” πŸ‘ 119    πŸ” 35    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 1
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New York City: The time has arrived. Finally, a chance to tell the city EXACTLY what your landlord’s been getting away with. NYC’s first Rental Ripoff Hearings are happening in all five boroughs, and we want to hear from you. Real New Yorkers. Real stories. Real policy changes.Β 

10.02.2026 14:31 β€” πŸ‘ 3842    πŸ” 981    πŸ’¬ 81    πŸ“Œ 174
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Ok Charleston!

10.02.2026 18:54 β€” πŸ‘ 31    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 1

Democracy dies in darkn--hang in, Boss Nas turned off the lights I can't see what I'm writing

05.02.2026 01:13 β€” πŸ‘ 29    πŸ” 4    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 1
meme showing Anna Karnina staring coyly into the camera with an old CRT television in the background with the caption

i lied, there is no sex
now, you are forced to watch niche french films
on a dodgy website with delayed subtitles with me.

meme showing Anna Karnina staring coyly into the camera with an old CRT television in the background with the caption i lied, there is no sex now, you are forced to watch niche french films on a dodgy website with delayed subtitles with me.

not sorry

14.09.2025 18:46 β€” πŸ‘ 116    πŸ” 19    πŸ’¬ 5    πŸ“Œ 1
Jean Luc Godard saying

the solution is to stop making films for imperialism.

Jean Luc Godard saying the solution is to stop making films for imperialism.

simple really πŸ’…

26.11.2025 02:03 β€” πŸ‘ 204    πŸ” 45    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 3

Dem leadership: changing this is a difficult process, you fool. You rube. You utter infant. Give us between $5 and $50

Mamdani, wiping grease off his hands: So it turns out there's a switch on this machine that puts it into either orphan-shredding mode or free school lunch mode. Just had to flip it

03.02.2026 04:05 β€” πŸ‘ 10622    πŸ” 2376    πŸ’¬ 12    πŸ“Œ 22

We all need to be able to say "freedom and dignity for all people, even people I dislike" if we're ever going to get out of this

03.02.2026 17:42 β€” πŸ‘ 19    πŸ” 6    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
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happening this morning in Minneapolis -- ICE agents drawing guns on observers. I reiterate again that it is only a matter of time before DHS kills more innocent people in Minnesota. Congress needs to shut this shit down right now.

03.02.2026 16:19 β€” πŸ‘ 43260    πŸ” 19364    πŸ’¬ 2402    πŸ“Œ 1617

Doesn’t look like ICE is drawing back.

03.02.2026 16:32 β€” πŸ‘ 1700    πŸ” 429    πŸ’¬ 89    πŸ“Œ 9

SHUT this down NOW. It’s not illegal to observe. ICE should not pull GUNS on innocent civilians. @senatedemocrats.bsky.social @housedemocrats.bsky.social @chrismurphyct.bsky.social @warren.senate.gov

03.02.2026 16:29 β€” πŸ‘ 839    πŸ” 231    πŸ’¬ 14    πŸ“Œ 5

Not another fucking dime for this. Not one single penny. Your body cam BS ain’t gonna cut it, Chuck

03.02.2026 16:39 β€” πŸ‘ 1113    πŸ” 228    πŸ’¬ 15    πŸ“Œ 4

Again, this is FALSE. Administrative warrants are NOT signed by an immigration judge (or any judge at all). They are generated and signed by ICE officers themselves with no external oversight whatsoever.

Here is a blank sample warrant. Note who signs off on it; an "immigration officer."

03.02.2026 16:46 β€” πŸ‘ 5849    πŸ” 2402    πŸ’¬ 328    πŸ“Œ 120

Three rules in FBI firearm training:

1. Always point your weapon downrange
2. Do not point your weapon at anything you do not intend to shoot
3. Don’t put your finger on the trigger unless you intend to shoot

Guns are not for threatening compliance for unarmed people doing things you don’t like

03.02.2026 16:50 β€” πŸ‘ 16594    πŸ” 6091    πŸ’¬ 715    πŸ“Œ 286

Hey @schumer.senate.gov, these agents are doing this on video.

Not another dime for these motherfuckers. Not one more piece of equipment, no more nonsense about body cams and training.

Shut it down.

03.02.2026 16:49 β€” πŸ‘ 1462    πŸ” 367    πŸ’¬ 28    πŸ“Œ 12
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…

31.01.2026 03:18 β€” πŸ‘ 1112    πŸ” 348    πŸ’¬ 12    πŸ“Œ 13

t handelnyc@gmail.com to let me know you have done so.

Rob Handel is a playwright, librettist, and ordained clown (13P, O'Neill, New Dramatists, MacDowell). He's the Chair of Dramatic Writing at an esteemed university.

31.01.2026 15:07 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

at the edge of hubris.

THE LABORATORY FOR OVERAMBITIOUS LITERATURE
Sunday, February 8, 3:30-5:00 Eastern Time, online

To participate, MAKE A DONATION OF ANY AMOUNT by going to linktr.ee/mplsmutualaid and donating to one of the Minneapolis mutual aid organizations there.

Then email me a

31.01.2026 15:07 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0