brog

i’ve liked so many people before and it only ends up with people taking advantage of that. it’s happened that way so much that i’ve started to believe that i’m impossible to love. if i were able to be loved, then i feel like somebody would have loved me by now

i’ve been reading a lot of BL manga lately, and it’s been a lot of fun, but it also makes me sad. is it really true that all i have to do is show someone i really love and care about them, and then they’ll eventually return my feelings? i don’t think so

dizzy again :/

i appreciate the clarification!!

is the google ai wrong :(

thought i was seeing things again like during my psychosis days. crazy how you can see crazy stuff when you’re under high stress and low sleep

ugh i’m done feeling dizzy but now i’m light-headed… still feel like i’m gonna pass out any second now, and i once again had trouble falling asleep. this sucks

I think about this post a lot

i have had so many different jobs since 2013 when i first went on government assistance, and every time i lose it (based on how much money i’m making at the time), i’m a little disappointed but then i imagine someone in a worse situation than i have it, and i understand. it’s not that hard

hate when people complain about making too much money to be eligible for government assistance. is it so hard to get out of your own head and realize there are other people in the world besides you

lately i type tweets and then halfway through i just give up with a feeling of “who cares anyway” but with bluesky i feel better about just being freer with my thoughts

i would LOVE to have SOMEBODY ELSE pay for me to exist and also pay to support my baby, and i would LOVE to spend all my time with the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO I CARE ABOUT SO MUCH WHO MAKES ME SO HAPPY

i judge SAHMs so much. oh you can AFFORD to not have a job? i didn’t have that option. oh and your husband makes enough money to support two adults and one baby? AND you guys complain the most that your child is clingy and wants to spend time with you? and all you want is time AWAY from your kid?

and i’ll continue to work hard as he grows to make sure he continues to have a good stable happy life with a loving supportive parent the entire way through bc i LOVE HIM SO MUCH

we didn’t have many toys growing up, and i think mom felt justified, she said a lot of “we’re suffering now for the sake of your future” and i’m like ok cool ms SAHM i’m working REALLY hard to make sure my son has a GOOD CHILDHOOD which will set him up for a good FUTURE TOO

mom used to look at daniel jr’s toys and give me this look like, “wow you can afford all these toys? privileged,” and i’m like no, i don’t have that much money, but i PRIORITIZE my son having toys

YOOOO this christmas marching band was playing some sick nasty beats in the redmond park but nobody knew how to dance to it bc they were all white !!!!

which one

but idk we’ll see when they get older, maybe my student/kid will be less disciplined but also understand that he deserves a baseline level of respect

i don’t like the way that some parents and teachers talk like, “i made them do this” “i let them do this”

like that feels totally different from “i asked them to do this” “i talked to them about this”

it’s a different level of control that the recipient has and a different level of respect?

i’ve just learned this term cluster b personality disorders and it’s like bpd is in the same category as narcissists and sociopaths? man idk man

i feel weird bc in college 1 out off 3 medical professional teams said i had bpd, and i always thought it was just like a “oh cool there’s a word for this and there’s other people who also feel this way, now i don’t feel alone or crazy,” but the book i’m reading villainizes people with bpd?

being in a controlling relationship with a dependent is constant “do everything, do it right, and always smile, or else you’ll get in trouble.”

being a first time single parent is constant “do everything, do it right, and always smile, or else you might mess up your kid’s childhood experience”

IF I DONT DO SOMETHING IT JUST DOESNT GET DONE SO I JUST HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE but it’s ok i’ve gotten used to it by now

i separate my chores/errands into “what can i do online?” “what can i do in the car?” “what can i do during lunch?” “what can i do with baby around?” “what do i have to do with baby not around?” “what can i do during the week?” “what can i do during the weekend?” and i just move one thing to another

i have the habit of getting ready yo do something and then getting distracted and doing something else instead, and some people have said that’s an adhd thing, but for me i think that’s just a “i’m a working single parent with a toddler and no family around to help me” thing

アキくん。

wahhh the sayuri… it’s the last pic of dc with daniel jr 😭

i learned over thanksgiving that apparently he was also abusive to a now ex-girlfriend? and some people went to her to fact check me after i started exposing him, and she confirmed everything that i said about his character

sometimes people want to entirely blame his terminal illness for warping his mind, and like if you talk to his family even like we all knew that he was not in the best mindset years and years before he learned he was dying