Jill Spicer

2025 Trans Girl Scouts To Order Cookies From! This year, consider ordering your Girl Scout cookies from a trans girl scout to make their day!

1. Did you know that Girl Scouts has, for a long time, accepted trans girls and nonbinary scouts?

Trans kids are under attack. Every year, I make a thread of trans and nonbinary girl scouts you can get your cookies from.

Lets get our cookies from them this year in solidarity!

I used to sneak off and turn down my MIL’s thermostat because it was so crazy high and there were 30+ people in the house. It must be very hard to get old and cold. I hope I remember to layer rather than overheat my home.

I'm stepping off my grief soapbox now. I'll end by saying that Finn was the most wonderful human, and I'm so deeply honored to have been loved by him. Forever and always, Finn is my sunshine.

Fin. /11

Seven years on, I stand on so many building blocks that people lovingly placed for me. I slip off occasionally, but love holds them fast so I can surface again. Finn has also shown up on countless occasions to leave life preservers to help me float in Finn's deeply comforting presence. /10

Your job is to place building blocks of comfort near them so they can stand on your help and care for a moment, take a breath, feel supported. /9

Back to the rings...they aren't flat, like the pictures show. To my way of thinking, they're a bowl. The reason you have to dump hurt and anger and pain away from the center is that those closest to the death are drowning in it already./8

Part of the reason I was triggered was it hit so close to home. I had family tell me they were grieving Finn as deeply as I was. NO ONE was grieving Finn as deeply as I was, except Finn's immediate family. That person needed to look out for comfort, so she could comfort the inner circle. /7

I've been thinking of this a lot lately because I've watched a newly bereaved mom have to stand up for herself when a partner wanted more from her than she could reasonably give. Thankfully, the mom has people around her now who will pour in help and not expect her to comfort them. /6

The idea is people closer to the center get to dump their grief and feelings outward. The outer rings get to pour in comfort to the grieving person, or to those closer to the inner circles. Those closest to the center should not be having to comfort those in circles outside of theirs. /5

As I reflect on making it seven years without the joy of Finn beside me, I think of the early days of grief. Many have seen the ring theory diagram: the person most affected is in the center, then immediate family, close friends, other friends and family, then colleagues and then acquaintances /4

When you lose a child your choices are to give up or go on. When I chose to go on, I could numb myself or feel sorrow that comes from losing one who was so deeply loved. When I chose to feel sorrow, I could drown in it or let it lift me up so I am like Finn. Most often, I choose to be like Finn. /3

My life is also still a struggle. I have a strong "THIS IS NOT FAIR!" building in my throat, always there waiting. Thankfully, I suppose, I have a stronger "I will take Finn everywhere and live to make Finn proud!" coursing through my veins.
/2

Today is my son Finn's seventh death anniversary. Seven years. That's too many years. I'm more than halfway to having spent more time after Finn than actually with Finn.

My life is incredibly rich and happy now, balanced, hopeful. Dare I say joyful?
1/

Our new rescue, 8 years old and soooo chill.

Left it. Not coming back. Ew.

I don’t think you understand what binary means. Maybe look up spectrum?

I’m not happy with either of them. I don’t like to live in this binary world you’re trying to create.

So…who else is trying to decide where to move when things go weird next month? It’s like I don’t want to make any long term commitments to our current area. It’s literally unsettling.

No, but can my wife and I come if Tennessee gets dicey for us? 😬

Thank you. I’m hoping enough people will want to support us that nothing will be allowed to happen. I also thought enough people would vote for Kamala, sooooo…

We were, too. She’s a doctor, which they fast track, but she’s also 59. We are not sure whether they would consider her too old.

My wife and I are concerned…not sure where we could go. To a blue state? To another country? Who will take us?

I took my son to see Red One and I agree. The key words had to be “Xmas superheroes transformers ogres Batmobile trite bizarrely focused extraneous details.”

Think of it like insulin. It doesn’t cure diabetes; it manages it and brings your body what it lacks. The WL drugs are giving your metabolism what it lacks.

Who is spending $58.08 for a 10 person meal? What are you making?

What a gorgeous kitty! Kudos to your mom!

From 2013:

While opening gifts, Alex entertained us by saying "hashtag" in front of every phrase. "Hashtag, wondering? Hashtag, that's cool. Hashtag, I'm an adult now!"

I heard Luke behind me say softly under his breath, "If he says 'hashtag' one more time, I'm going to pound him.”

Wow! I have the same sheets and headboard and dog! What are the odds? 🤣

Thank YOU for the responses! 😊