Chris

Been a while since I took a photo in front of my favorite fan 🪭

I’ll be there mid October. I hope to see a lot of punk rock clowns and no icy individuals.

I’m gonna miss going to the restaurant across from the roastery to watch tourists take pictures outside and never go in. But the coffee is trash so not gonna miss them around.

Good day to hide inside and make other stuff wet 💦

Jane Fonda, Dianne Wiest, and Isabella Rossellini are catapulted onto the island to find out who is her mother. Ricki Lake will be there for the blood tests.

Celebrating #toweltuesday on my day off.

Bitch, do you think two tops in Seattle need to pay for bottoms??? Also, we don’t teach; we wreck.

Weekend morning sex is the absolute best. Or catch them before they head out for the night. Never when they’re leaving a bar tired and drunk.

3 mph??? Laughs in gay walking

Husband said I was being gratuitous, so I said “take pics”. Pardon the tan line

cogsworth to mrs. potts:

Called this as soon as she was announced for Kennedy Center. No way he’s calling out a one-hit wonder disco singer without her baffling support.

As long as there are no strings tied to the actions, I would find it very endearing.

Had a friend on our couch for just short of 5 months. It was supposed to be one. We finally have our house back for the first time since we got married. This is never happening again.

Who’s ready for the celebratory orgy??

I had the same thing, and my husband and I laugh about how idiotic that was.

Ballard locks. Saw a harbor seal. Bought paint and supplies for painting the condo. Solid Saturday.

Best movie of the year so far

a man wearing a hat and a denim shirt with the words the level of disrespect below him ALT: a man wearing a hat and a denim shirt with the words the level of disrespect below him

2025 for me:

Yessir, gotta have hot gents like you to appreciate it 😈

Yep, already done been blocked.

Wow, people trying to simultaneously slut shame me and set up a threesome…. That’s new.

Hoping it brings some eyes to the original as well. Noticed it’s on HBO atm

I submit to the carbs and tiny black olives

Favorite summer activity: garden party at a storybook house 🥰

So this is why there’s a line out the door 🤤

a man and a woman are walking through a forest covered in red leaves ALT: a man and a woman are walking through a forest covered in red leaves

Far from Heaven 😍😍

Morning people getting out at night

With @funinsea.bsky.social

My husband knows my career goal is trophy wife. 💅🏽

Been a while, but just told someone I’m gonna need to check ID before we fuck.

Lighting and angle making pecs look good