mr. furious

this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier

people, you have the chance to put my book ahead of Olivia Nuzzi’s on the bestseller list. put aside all other considerations and think how objectively funny this would be. #1, that Mountain Goats guy. #2, Antivax Man Has My Heart. funniest list of the century. We can do this if we try

Josh Barro connecting with the common man: “there’s a little man under the hood of the car, that’s what makes it go vroom”

And bc I can’t ever say this enough, just a reminder that this is the 2nd page of the 1998 spring football defense playbook

This movie whips so much ass

Literally the first thing they show you

Goddammit

There are no great teams this year lol

Pat McAfee, former NFL player, podcaster and college football commentator, has died from eating a car battery. He was 47 years old

Really upsetting seeing the institutions fall in line

He Bungled the Literary Scoop of the Year. Now He’s Ready to Explain Himself. An interview with the Vanity Fair writer whose astounding revelations about Cormac McCarthy went viral for all the wrong reasons.

I'm having a stroke. You guys gotta read this. Please.

We love the Coen Brothers don’t we folx

She drops some good Rioplatense y’s in this movie, the children yearn for the pla-zha

The kids are being “detourpilled,” it appears to be truancy from work or school built around consuming the 1945 Edgar G. Ulmer film painstakingly restored by the Academy Film Archive and The Film Foundation in collaboration with the Cinémathèque Royale de Belgique, MOMA, and Cinémathèque Francaişe

We should spell Kazakhstan like this in English

Max Schreck was the OG Soup Nazi

Eva Brann is a really unfortunate name for a German Jewish woman born in Berlin in 1929

Not me for a while I guess!!!

Yep, very much so. I assure you that’s what it’s for, QT of him doing a TD celebration of YMCA dance shit, c’est la vie

Elon got triggers on a million words cuz I just got suspended a week for saying that I hope Brock Bowers gets his knee blown out for doing Trump dances

They sure do

Say Nothing is already shredding me in every way

The dark side of the ring reenactments are shit on principle but some during the bruiser brody ep are just distressing

I’m blocking as many accounts boosted on instagram as I was in the twitter fash rush

Hell yeah brother

Feeling pre-bad about the asswhupping this lions team is gonna give the jaguars next week

I hate these Texans unis

Football blows today lol