Love your stuff! Just bought a glow in the dark jewelry box!
10.07.2023 01:47 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0
me: can I try
satan: no
me: why not
satan pausing xbox: well it wouldn’t be hell then would it
02.07.2023 13:02 — 👍 113 🔁 28 💬 0 📌 0
*sees baby*
*crouches down, does some cute baby talk*
*no reaction from baby*
*stands up slowly*
You've made a powerful enemy today, baby
08.06.2023 23:04 — 👍 156 🔁 37 💬 2 📌 1
Tilda Swinton is the last person on Earth, having solely survived the apocalypse. A tumbleweed rolls by. She picks it up and eats it. 'Delicious,' she says, as she gets down on all fours then gallops into the night.
08.06.2023 23:25 — 👍 327 🔁 102 💬 6 📌 3
LADY: My cat won't stop mewling
ME: It's okay, I'm a cat whisperer
LADY: Oh, great
ME {whispering to cat}: shut the hell up
26.05.2023 13:10 — 👍 140 🔁 48 💬 0 📌 0
Just got here from Twitter! Hi fronds!
08.06.2023 16:50 — 👍 32 🔁 2 💬 7 📌 0
Moments sublime with intervals hilarious.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:y6djvaozycqmskmp4bw6rvmc/feed/aaabmt7cvosl4
Professional imbecile | 🇬🇧
My stuff here -> https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaadweqyc656e
I'm only here to pet pugs.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ciy2cjommq6qpegteeptbstv/feed/aaacyyuczfd5a
I love Peeps, Miracle Whip, Pepsi, pineapple on pizza, and bleu cheese. I'm basically perfect.
Pfp by onehourlate
My dumb jokes: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:svme5pcm35w2kjzvtqjfe6pz/feed/aaae4clm6s64m
I’m here to drink tea and kick my own ass. And I’m all out of ass.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xge2bkwjvfpsq6zrdrof5gsz/feed/aaap654revxg2
back on this bread again
my skeets:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaafhk2y3vewe
Vintage artisanal locally-sourced mixed-use development. Heart attack survivor/quadruple bypass haver. Still not sure what I am trying to find here. Terrible at shitposting. #fuckcancer
she/her, views my own
Join the tax fight: Fair Share America: https://www.fairshareusa.org/get-involved/join-our-email-list/
Comedy writer: Onion, McSweeneys, others.
Currently in bed. Email nice things only: quintmaura@ gmail
Freestanding Utility Protein; petemandik.net
i wrote the da Vinci code
(VERY SERIOUS) USA TODAY humor(ish) columnist. May or may not be notable. Hypocrisy enthusiast. WOKE MOB, CO-FOUNDER. ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE (2017 to present).
👀
Stay hydrated.
14-time Winner of the Internet.
Cat Dad.
Attorney.
Australian Jim Morrison. Real person. Dave's mate.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaacc24yfdxgc
used cd rack, see if something catches your eye — don't steal anything: https://tinyurl.com/hn9sja65
new releases: https://tinyurl.com/drankturpentine
