Craig Fitzpatrick

The quest to make an ice cream that doesn't melt Ice cream is a staple of summer – but melts quickly when the mercury rises. Can scientists help it keep its cool?

One step closer to the dream: a delicious cone of boiling hot ice cream

The new Betty White stamp is surrounded by other commemorative stamps including John Lewis, RBG, the art of Keith Haring and regular flag stamps and more, set on a USPS stand up placard on a USPS counter, titled "Limited Edition Stamps" and "for more choices go to usps.com" 🕯

Deeply appreciate the Betty White Summoning Circle I noticed at a USPS counter this week. 🕯

Hey, we saw you from across the bar and we really dig your vibe. Can we buy you a drink?

DOGE’s whiz kids

and another thing: im not banned. please dont put in the newspaper that i got banned.

There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed.

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a thumbnail for ‘Piers Morgan Uncensored’ being shoved in a human face - forever.

Whoever does the PR for Big Pancake is a genius because it is, unequivocally, the most pointless food of all time. A whole day, really?

"Imbolc or Imbolg, also called (Saint) Brigid's Day (Irish: Lá Fhéile Bríde, Scottish Gaelic: Là Fhèill Brìghde, Manx: Laa'l Breeshey), is a Gaelic traditional festival marking the beginning of spring."

"February-isn't-Spring" people, remove the coloniser from your mind

The Weeknd has now been singing about being mid-overdose for three albums and approximately 191 minutes of music.

That's okay, I'll still keep listening to that garbage.

It is becoming increasingly clear that the best word processing software for writers is a Notepad .txt document with a handgun kept next to the keyboard in case it tries anything funny.

😄

Top street drugs, Ireland, Q1 2025:

Haughey
Waterford Crystal
Niamhs
Blackrock
Meth Eireann
Eucharist
Dennies
Vincent Brown

Shame on me. On reflection, he can replace Smaug. Hoarding all that wealth like a (slightly) scalier Jeff Bezos.

The only Sandman in my life after reading that horrific Vulture/New York piece on Neil Gaiman.

I don’t know who’s worse, the people who sign their pets’ names on Christmas cards, or the pets who refuse to sign

Home for Christmas AN HOUR and Kirsty MacColl's death-by-speedboat has already come up.

Bloke decided to hold up the queue for the 120 bus earlier to request that we "let the women on first."

Favorite instant, withering responses (from all genders):

"Are ye tapped?"

"He thinks he's got the rizz"

And

"It's not the Titanic, mate."

I still love you, Dublin.

Maris Otter sounds like a Coronation Street mainstay.

Have you or a member of your family been annihilated by a Kendrick Lamar track? You may be entitled to financial compensation

Noise canceling headphones.
Fear canceling goggles.
Emotion canceling ice cream.

Was trying to find prints and posters from local artists in Dublin but 95% of it is Poolbeg stacks, pints of Guinness, cheese toasties and slogans saying things like "Keep Calm & Miggeldy On".

I mean, aren’t we all?

In honour of the Chinese New Year, my Top 5 Greatest Dragons Of All Time:

5 Spyro
4 Falkor from The Neverending Story
3 Smaug
2 Puff (legalise it!)
1 That one St George killed (Brits at it again)

Honourable mention to King Ghidorah who was ruled out on a technicality for having three heads.