Local Hotboy In Your Area

Me at the gas station cashier: can I get a pack of Nathan’s Famous

Cashier: regular or bun length?

Me: bun length, long day.

He on my Marvin but I ain’t gaye. Is that anything?

I’m here and I’m queer—baiting. get used to it

Just met someone and asked if she had an onlyfans because I love supporting independent creators but apparently I’m a “disgusting human being”??????

Did I spend $400 on the Weekends with Adele collectors vinyl box set? Yes. Do I still get bitches? Yes. Many things can be true the world is a beautiful place

“I love beating my wife!”- Pete Hegseth to me in the bathroom while checking my penis to make sure I was on the correct bathroom. He also said my voice sounds girly but my penis is quite nice. Thick, long, good color.

It would be a honor if you dropped 100k into my bank account (: it’s the least you could do frankly. Love you bye

Emilia Perez is kinda like if a movie was really bad. A violent drunk driving car crash where the drunk driver kills a family of four on their way to Disney sings better than that lady

Took 15 Benadryl… I’m going to kill the hat man

Look I hate trump as much as the next but good lord I can’t with the millennial ass posts on here. Go touch some internet

Where the mentally ill shawties at? I need more content

My body is a machine that turns 3-4 assorted bevs into incoherent sentences and piss

Everytime I click on the link to see the hot milf in my area that want to fuck I just get a virus. What’s up with that?

I’d rather watch a white high school performance of In The Heights than Emilia Perez

It’s the year of the snake but to some of you that’s every year

Welp, I hope it's not just me Welp, the day has come.

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Still no plan for healthcare but at least those trans and non binary people can’t enjoy the splendors of my bathroom!

Anyone know why my Tik tok isn’t working? I quit my job to become a Tik tok shop influencer and now it won’t open.

Don’t look away I need an audience

My platonic non romantic polycule has asked me to stop calling them that.

The radio transmitter I attached to my wife has stop transmitting. The only conclusion is that she died during migration

Me (In a threesome with beautiful women): do you hate me?

People before phones: man I just sat in bed all day on the newspaper

My dog (a shih tzu) just told me that the meaning of life is to love one another and foods shaped like a bone????

I love A. I.!

A-yyy why don’t
I- end it all

Me Getting naked with a beautiful women: why’s it look like that?

Jimmy Carter OD’d on life.

Nobody wants stare into the the black hole that steals your soul anymore. What’s up with that?

Yesfaratu

Cashier: what’s your email
Me: it’s just my first and last name then 35 characters