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and lo, he did reach into his bag of talent and, verily, it was found to be barren.

did he at least die painlessly? …to shreds, you say. how's his wife holding up? …to shreds, you say.

i am not a punk! i am a cute and sweet princess, who can kick your butt!

geez, sorry you guys. there’s no cure for stupidity!

fighting never solved anything, but quitting’s not so productive either.

sometimes, i let matches burn down to my fingertips just to feel something, anything.

my ex-therapist is gonna think twice before he makes fun of my job!!

Been loving clit lately!

i've killed myself at least ten thousand times in the past hour it's not even funny.

i won’t say you’re weak. i’ll just think it, okay?

that was a waste of time and energy. apologize to me and physics!

you can't give up hope just because it is hopeless! you gotta hope even more, and cover your ears, and go "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!"

i’ve been through hell and believe me i’m about to come out singing.

dating site for dumbasses called okstupid

right and wrong are just words. what matters is what you do.

die like your father, you pinheaded son of an ice-cream maker!

that’s it! no more underwater labs. it’s volcanoes or abandoned castles from now on!

thank god, i was starting to think this guy was a moron.

since you didn't specify a location, i'll assume it's hell

but yeah, uh, i got shot. with a laser beam. don't ask how. satan, y'know?

i can't go to hell. I'm all out of vacation days.

hey cool, a dead guy!

is this what you wanted? me going bananas!?

no, no. can’t you collapse more dramatically? chicks really dig a showy victory, y’know?

game over, pal! don’t forget to save. sweet dreams!

there's a curtain rod on the ceiling. there's a curtain rod on the ceiling! the ceiling! there’s a curtain rod on it!

i think it's about time we graduate from stealing goats to- fuck it- murdering kids. let's do it. let's stab this girl fifteen times.

they call me vegeta's right hand man the way I be a Nappa… Zzz

if i am a 1-in-328,571 prodigy, then aren't you a 1-in-2,300,000 disaster?