Hairy Bernard

Because motorists are renowned for never moaning about anything at all

All pedestrians should legally be required to not get in the way of any modes of transport including other pedestrians

If all you did was sleep then I think you're in the clear

Weirdos

Plot twist: she's 80

Really struggling with this one. What the hell are you going on about?

bin

I've just accepted that it's nothing I can control or change, so let it go, and focus on the smaller closer things like family wellbeing, next bike ride, plan for a holiday, doing a chore I've been putting off, anything with a positive feeling

word

must have been a big suit

There'll definitely be some sucking

It's not your fault. To avoid confusion the gym should have put a do not use sign on the fire exit and none of this would have happened.

You hadn't posted something about Reform for a few hours I was starting to get worried

Why are you hanging on his every word?

Yes! And then someone starts dishing out sweary insults at strangers on the Internet who think differently to them. Perfection 👌

Just how much shit was this guy covered in that it was still being washed down his legs and over their feet as they began to make sweet love together

Well I suppose the girlfriend could have been blind with no sense of smell.

Classic fess. Not very imaginative but has included faeces, intercourse, new love interest, crude language, most likely written by a man whilst sat on the toilet, and of course, it's complete bollocks.

Ah, there's the balance

Is this the only media outlet left that dares to go up against Reform?

Do you not know how to eat properly?

Gay

You're right to feel embarrassed.

It's pathetic.

Perhaps you should do something more meaningful with your time.

For American readers, a fag is a cigarette in UK slang, rather than they had sex with an offensively termed homosexual in the morning to help them shit.

You are totally winning at life

Yeah all the millions of people aged between 13 and 28 think and behave in the same way

That would be so cool

Was it bring your kids to work day for the courtroom artist?

They've started putting pictures of their faces on for sale signs now as well. That's how much they think of themselves.