marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️

a selfie taken in the filthy bathroom mirror of me holding Geoffy the cat like a sack of happy potatoes and im holding a canary yellow phone

i bought this case for my NEW CAMERA-PHONE not because it's especially sturdy or anything but 110% because the bright colour and grippy surface will reduce the number of times i lose the fucking thing by at least 10% (-/+ 15%), so that's my ADHD life-hack for yinz 🙂‍↕️

Coco the cat, sitting on my mom's computer desk between the monitor and my mom, staring out the front window with huge staring eyes

lmao taking this picture is what let me know our front lawn was covered in deer, her eyes went from happy little slits to bulging orbs of rage >:3

three whitetail deer on my front lawn, come to eat all the suet fallen in the snow under the bird feeder and to nibble on the salt lick i put out for them, in this photo they are bolting into the woods because i dunno deer love running away, it's kind of what they do

a feast in fresh snow

chestnut brown in pelt and gaze

startled my dumb cats

geoffy the cat who is orange is sitting on the counter and looking at me with an expression that says "quit taking fucking pictures of me you asshole" which is entirely fair

he's like a freaking supermodel, how does this guy do it?

it's a closeup pic of an orange cat (Geoff) in an Amazon box looking out through the window with a look of fixed and rapturous intensity upon his wee phiz at a perfidious squirrel that is capering around outside

my face when i'm looking at all my bluesky buddies 😘

99% of my horn use has been to motivate wildlife to kindly get the heck off the road. the remaining 1% is when i accidentally lean on it and startle the shit out of myself

it's a close up picture of my coffee/hot chocolate mug with a disgusting encrustation of microwaved chocolate all over the outside, there are clots and clumps, it's NOT PRETTY

my mom said "you should wash your diarrhea mug" and i'm like jeez mom, do you even understand what gourmet cooking is all about? how caramelization works? maybe i should give the Mona Lisa a vigorous scrubbing with steel wool while i'm at it?

that means it's time to decant the snowshoes and run amok thru moonlit groves of spruce and pine while crying out in ecstasy at the thrill of existence

an intensely Minecraft lookin' lighthouse that is

it just keeps happening!

a hand, pale as the milky moon, as pallid as a drowned corpse, my hand that is complete with dirty thumbnail, is cruelly grasping the anterior head-skin of an innocent orange cat and pulling it back so as to reveal his gorgeous jadeite eyeballs! and then i ran around holding him like he was kitty superman, which is one of his approved games

there, i FINALLY managed to gather enough dopamine molecules together in one place to get my NEW PHONE operational! man it is so wild having a phone that doesn't need to be strategically tensioned with rubber-bands in order to take photographs 🥳

it's a still frame from the show Smiling Friends with Mr frog, Pim, and uhhh the yellow guy w/ the big nose, and Mr frog is looking sadly at a plate of nachos in front of him, and PIM has a word balloon-- wait why did autocorrect capitalize Pim -- and inside the world balloon is a post from the somethingawful forums that reads "Donald Trump please don't shoot me okay well now that you have please don't rub salt in the wound okay well it sucks that you did that too but that isn't who we are Donald" so like it's like Pim is saying this to Mr. Frog, who is also a baby-eating lunatic with godlike powers just like Trump, and therefore oh fuck off it made me laugh and really that's all that matters, i mean that and clean drinking water and Maslow's hierarchy of needs but irregardless whatever shut up! shut up!!

the only real context for this is that i read a funny post on The Forums and was also watching Smiling Friends and also a home-made weed edible was involved

a selfie taken in the front of some book cases, it's kind of soft focused and black and white, it's me giving a hearty thumbs up and for some reason i've got my bottom lip sucked in so it's like i'm trying to emulate a frog

me: wow this new Pixel 9a i got can take vibrant hi-res pictures! perfect!

me: oh my god, every single one of my wrinkles and grey hairs captured in lurid 4K vividity, i'm so old i can smell the open grave that awaits me 💀

also me: an eight year old tablet with a scratched lens? perfect!

it's a blurry picture of my computer monitor taken at a weird angle showing the baby from Eraserhead smoking a fat doob, sure you're probably thinking "wow that's stupid, you're stupid Marshwort, why are you so stupid? stupid and incredibly sexy, Marshwort, that's you! god i would love to sink my teeth into your" uhhh anyways i made it with paint.net because i thought the baby looked like he was stoned and i am 13 at heart

i spent over 72 hours photoshopping this Very Important image because i'm basically a partisan resistance fighter in the war against A.I., i'm like the John Henry of shitposting, the Thomas Sankara of memes, the Pol Pot of-- *connection terminated*

it's a crude line-art drawing of a guy looking at a computer, the guy says to the computer "say 'i am alive'", the computer responds ">I AM ALIVE" and the dude replies "oh my god", it's basically an mspaint synopsis of frankenstein when u think about it

stolen from r/coaxedintoasnafu 🤖

a few days ago i dropped a piece of firewood on my foot that was broken in 2024 and it's still aching today. bones are stupid, i hate bones, i want an exoskeleton, i crave the chitin 🦞

a closeup of four gold crowns, three for molars that have been removed entirely from the enamel, and one is an incisor that is the entire tooth plus the gold crown, and whose fucking tooth is that i swear to god i am losing my mind

with precious metals going through the roof it is my civic duty to remind everyone that if your parents/grandparents got crowns in the 1980s or beforehand they are sitting on a potential GOLDMINE 😚 my mom gave me these three molars, but i have no fucking idea where i got this incisor from 😬

i got my new phone (a google pixel 9) in the mail today, but i forgot to get a protective case, and now i'm staring at the unopened parcel nervously. it can smell my fear. i may have to improvise something out of a foam pool noodle and some duct tape before it grows stronger, hungrier, angrier...

i always forget to promote this, but if anyone wants to join me in chat during @voxsocialism.bsky.social 's stream here we can crack dumb jokes and make fun of him whenever he gets PvPed in GTAIV, it's on at 7pm MST

pov looking down at my kitty cat Coco/Corona/Cornbug/Cornslapper/Cornichon/Coronito/Cornificus J. Catworthy/Cocoa-Bean/Cron Job (Unix humour)/Her Royal Cromulency as i'm feeding her a Delectable© treat, it's basically one of those yogurt tubes but full of gravy that smells like fish, i refer to them colloquially as "Squeezies", as in i walk in a room and yell "who wants a Squeezie?" and so far it's only ever been cats who respond, but someday it will be Caroline Dhavernas who says yes 😍

o_0

"We're off to see the Wizard,
The wonderful Wizard of--" the scarecrow began singing, before Dorothy slapped a hand over his mouth.

no cannibalism, though, so at least you didn't return to an island covered in adorable gnawed bones 🤔

it's a drawering i done did, in the medium of Sharpie on scrap paper, of my cat when i first met her. she was sitting in a gutter on a late and rainy April when i was driving my patrol car around on my security route, holding a single paw up, her eyes so enormous they took up like 75% of her body i swears to god, and she looked miniscule!

the other day i was trying to describe to my nephew what my kitty Coco/Corona looked like when i first saw her shivering sadly in a gutter beside a busy road back in 2021, on the day i rescued her, and since words failed me i expressed myself through the medium of Sharpie:

they see i'm bumpy,
i'm crunchin',
lacto-fermentin' and tryna get me dillin'

it's a four panel meme, the first frame is a little kid going down a slide with a worried expression on his face with the caption "January 2026" and then the other three panels are the little kid looking increasingly terrified as the continues down the slide, with each successive panel reading January 2026, Also January 2026, and ... January 2026, and this is amusing because everything terrible in the world is happening right fucking now and we're only in week two???

😵‍💫

Geoffrey the orange tabby is standing atop a fluffy blanket with one paw raised to attack something he thinks he can see beneath it, which is secretly my hand!

we were playing a rousing game of "Wiggle Hand Under Blanket Until Cat's Facade Of Ironic Detachment Crumbles And The Kitten Within His Soul Cannot Help But Attack What Must Certainly Be An Invisible Mouse Concealed Beneath" which is his third favourite game after "Ribbon Toss" and "Foot Bite"

it's more insane rambling from Reddit about urine and alchemy

😑

silly old bear~

christopher robin's cunty little shoes

it's a screen cap from a reddit post on r/alchemy titled "Urine stone first distill" with a picture of a glass vessel filled with gross fucking goo, and then the rest underneath is like weird ass alchemical blathering about mercury and whatnot, but the point is, this person is trying to make the Philosopher's stone by distilling their own piss

amazing things are happening in r/alchemy 😐

a screenshot i took today of the emergency alert that was issued by my dumb province's government, which is notable because the locale where the crime happened is "Gotham City"

🤔