Steve Suckington

if it’s 1986 movie references you want, I’m your man

Adam it's Marvin.
Your cousin, Marvin Levine!
You know that new sound you been lookin for? Well listen to this!

*crushes testicles in vise*

I’m old

You’re in her dms, I’m crashing my car into a fruit stand during a high speed chase

what does it say about man that his best friend is a dog?

[naming the toilet]

guy who came up with fireplace: how about shitchair?

who the fuck has the discipline for rechargeable batteries?

my dad even didn’t have a leaf blower

he got on his hands and knees and blew them into a pile with his mouth

my neighbor does it and he’s a douche so..

I’m not sure what it is but i know i hate it

would buy it

finally someone said it

do not play pickleball in my presence

“You guys are getting paid?” meme from we’re the millers but it’s “you guys experienced joy?”

have we started any wars today? i haven’t been able to check my phone

and jacket?

THE TOOTH FAIRY: (a fairy who collects children’s teeth) so that RFK is weird huh?

[groot walks up my driveway just as I’m throwing a log in the fire pit]

if final destination has taught me anything it’s that I’ll either die in a plane crash or I’ll slip on some water into a full bathtub and pull a plugged in toaster in with me while trying to break my fall

i wanna see how people say it

the first old person to put tennis balls on their walker was baller as hell

airplane food sucks. but who cares what airplanes eat? Im a human

I’m not above eating lukewarm pizza. garywarm on the other hand… out of the question

fuck cheese. when i take a pic for someone i tell them to say worcestershire

just any random subject that pops into your mind or a topic that you’ve often thought… there should be more shitty jokes about this

ok late night crew, give me a random joke topic and I’ll throw out a probably bad joke on said topic

Imagine two cows having sex. Now imagine them wearing tiny hats. What's wrong with you?

one of them has glasses and a fake mustache

fuckin weirdos