if final destination has taught me anything it’s that I’ll either die in a plane crash or I’ll slip on some water into a full bathtub and pull a plugged in toaster in with me while trying to break my fall
01.03.2026 08:17 —
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i wanna see how people say it
01.03.2026 08:04 —
👍 3
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the first old person to put tennis balls on their walker was baller as hell
01.03.2026 08:02 —
👍 86
🔁 9
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airplane food sucks. but who cares what airplanes eat? Im a human
01.03.2026 07:59 —
👍 17
🔁 2
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I’m not above eating lukewarm pizza. garywarm on the other hand… out of the question
01.03.2026 07:54 —
👍 9
🔁 1
💬 0
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fuck cheese. when i take a pic for someone i tell them to say worcestershire
01.03.2026 07:50 —
👍 23
🔁 4
💬 5
📌 0
just any random subject that pops into your mind or a topic that you’ve often thought… there should be more shitty jokes about this
01.03.2026 07:39 —
👍 5
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
ok late night crew, give me a random joke topic and I’ll throw out a probably bad joke on said topic
01.03.2026 07:38 —
👍 22
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Imagine two cows having sex. Now imagine them wearing tiny hats. What's wrong with you?
27.02.2026 03:18 —
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📌 4
one of them has glasses and a fake mustache
26.02.2026 07:05 —
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💬 1
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fuckin weirdos
26.02.2026 07:02 —
👍 1
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📌 0
omg if the sons a bitches weren’t so adorable
26.02.2026 07:01 —
👍 4
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💬 0
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what if the 4th one is tiny? could it be considered 3 and 1/2 in your expert opinion?
26.02.2026 06:32 —
👍 2
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💬 1
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how many squirrels as pets is considered weird?
26.02.2026 06:28 —
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🔁 7
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Doc said no heavy machinery but my care bears cloud car seems pretty harmless
24.02.2026 04:52 —
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💬 5
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HIPSTER: i was eating pizza before it was cool
ME: did u burn ur mouth
24.02.2026 20:20 —
👍 500
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💬 7
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4loko and seven years ago
25.02.2026 02:32 —
👍 226
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I like that song where the girl is on fire
30.11.2024 22:22 —
👍 42
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let’s cut this bitch… is what they probably said
26.02.2026 06:14 —
👍 1
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who was the first person to look at a pumpkin and think.. this would make a good pie
26.02.2026 06:10 —
👍 20
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[tasting egg nog]
this is terrible. we’ll drink it at Christmas
25.02.2026 06:26 —
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[inventing pickles]
i wish this hamburger had wrinkly cucumbers
25.02.2026 06:13 —
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eat a dick? ok maybe i can see it.
but eat a BAG of dicks? well now you’re just being ridiculous
14.02.2026 07:08 —
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me at 20: *owns three pairs of pants*
me at 40: we need a 5th crockpot
20.01.2026 06:34 —
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“can I get you a drink?”
-i have a boyfriend
“bitch I'm the bartender”
21.02.2026 03:32 —
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Idk what this means but fuck doncic
21.02.2026 05:58 —
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A computer file named std_face.xml
Found your mom’s college nickname
21.02.2026 01:55 —
👍 100
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💬 8
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“can I get you a drink?”
-i have a boyfriend
“bitch I'm the bartender”
21.02.2026 03:32 —
👍 101
🔁 18
💬 1
📌 1
