Acoustic Ross

Americans: we would like fewer public shootings

US Govt: best we can do is use your tax dollars to pay people to do public shootings

Omg I’m dying 😂😂😂…so…So Emily Austin, a right wing 'influencer' who works for Bibi and the GOP, launched 'Hot Girls for Cuomo'.

Guess who didn't bother to register the URL when she did that? What do you think Hot Girls for Cuomo dot com leads to now?... 😄 Enjoy.

[ HotGirlsforCuomo.com ]

Elected Democrats spending more time today praising Dick Cheney than Zohran Mamdani is a great case study in abject fucking moral failure.

We’ve had a little stuffed ‘ear of corn’ cat toy kicking around here for ages. Until today, when one of the cats left it in the litterbox.

Undigested corn in the cat toilet.

These cats are over here doing SIGHT GAGS.

🔵 This week's Tom the Dancing Bug
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🛫 You'll be shocked at the all-true, top-secret story of Donald Trump and Epstein Island 🏝️
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Brought to you by the Inner Hive, including long-time member Acoustic Ross and new member Don Bartenstein.
Join us at bit.ly/theInnerHive
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READ THE COMIC RIGHT HERE👇

A Dem lawmaker and her husband were killed by a guy for their political views and it’s already out of the news.

I’m just a guy

With a new defibrillator

Hoping no one bumps into his left chest area tonight

Honestly I can’t believe none of these fuckwits have started demanding to change the name of the state between Arizona and Texas yet.

You are MEMBERS OF CONGRESS.

If they threaten you with arrest for trying to access a site you are lawfully entitled to access, YOU MAKE THEM FUCKING ARREST YOU.

YOU MAKE THEM SLAP THE CUFFS ON A CONGRESSMAN LIVE ON TV, YOU MAKE THEM FUCKING DO IT.

Warm lines that don't call the police: Call blackline: 800-604-5841. Centers BIPOC, LGBTQ+, through a black femme lens. Trans lifeline: US: 877-565-8860. Canada: 877-330-6366. Run by and for trans people. Wildflower alliance pier support line: 888-407-5415. Trained peer supporters. StrongHearts native helpline: 844-762-8483. Centering Native American and Alaskan natives. Thrive lifeline: 313-662-8209. Trans led and operated. LGBT national help center: 888-843-4564. From @InclusiveTherapists . More resources at InclusiveTherapists.com/crisis .

Given The Horrors, it seems the right time to post this again.

Stay safe. Keep fighting. You deserve to live just as much as anyone else.

TikTok was never going anywhere. The TikTok creator gave millions to Trump and they orchestrated this whole PR stunt just so Trump will be seen as a 'hero' to young people.
It was literally the Kidz Bop version of the Reichstag Fire

Yeah sounds like a plan 😂😂🦋

They eat a cold carb
They eat a hot carb
They eat a cheesy carb
They eat a chocolate carb

They eat a carb that remind them of the good times

They eat a carb that reminds them of the best times

You too!!

Acoustic Ross poses with the slogan “Season’s Cretins” and a newspaper excerpt that reads: “On December 5, 2021, a local resident called West Seneca (NY) police to report a suspicious male, driving through the neighborhood, walking up driveways. Police soon located the man, and he continued his newspaper delivery route.”

Season’s Cretins to all who celebrate!

Still frame of Bruce Willis in ‘Die Hard,’ which is absolutely a Christmas movie.

Christmas movie time

"You'll be visited by three spirits."

The three spirits:

Interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume?

Guy who doesn’t follow context clues in printed English: If you’re going to resume, you have to pause first.

Photo of BBQ sliced brisket sandwich with chips and fried Brussels sprouts. And a Coke Zero.

Solid, solid lunch on the 24-hour work trip.

Democrats - “We’re sorry, but this issue that has 90% approval is actually quite thorny legislatively, and it would be hard to get the votes we need in the Se…”

Trump - “Yeah, I heard you want a Space Force so we got one of those and let’s make Canada a state!”

Funny comic strip / meme. Cat on top of a mountain: “not all who wander are lost, but I personally am lost”. Illustration drawn digitally in simplistic cartoon line art style. By Amii Illustrates.

Funny comic strip / meme. A group of people sit around a table during “assumption club”. One says “so, I think we all know why we’re here”. Illustration drawn in simplistic cartoon line art style. By Amii Illustrates.

A two panel comic strip. Panel 1: A light gray human shape (like a thicc stick figure) labelled "THE WEALTHY ELITE" reaches greedily, mouth open in excitement, towards a large floating yellow ball that is labelled "A SECOND GILDED AGE" Panel 2: same as above, but behind the gray figure (who now has a sweat drop to indicate nervousness on its head) is a VERY large pink blob labelled "THE RETURN OF OUTLAW FOLL HEROES" with one arm wrapped around the gray figure, expression quietly threatening

Please tell me who first posted this so I can properly credit, bc it made me laugh hard this morning

give me a single image from a film that immediately makes you hear the song from the soundtrack in your head

Three headlines from Reddit news UnitedHealthcare CEO shoot latest: Man being held for questioning in Pennsylvania, sources say Daniel Penny found not guilty in chokehold death of Jordan Neely CVS, UnitedHealth, Cigna sue to block FTC case over insulin prices.

I don't know how it started but here's how it's going.

Raising a glass (OK, a can of Cherry Dr. Pepper Zero) to that, and to the next 9 years of this little device chugging along.

Here's a piece I wrote in 2018 about the day when it [checks notes] literally saved my life.

acousticross.com/my-heart-and...

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It's my ninth defibriversary today! The Little Box That Lives in My Chest mostly sits there, minding its business and recording data, as it's done since December 7, 2015.

Still on the original battery, even, although in less than a year it'll finally be time for a fresh one.

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Image of Acoustic Ross with guitar in poorly lit rock-wall basement

New videos posted! Creepy songs played in a creepy basement.

youtube.com/playlist?lis...