rax ‘levon honkers’ king

international women’s day

Any woman could convince me of anything and that's why my wife doesn't let me access the checking account

you know the saying: friday’s challah is sunday’s chocolate chip bread pudding

we need more places where he can exist in public without being expected to buy anything, not fewer

i can’t believe this. *AFFECT. my phone really has made me illiterate

there was a minor dispute over what to get for dinner tonight so i had to pull rank by saying ‘it’s international women’s day and i want china dragon’

30 Rock was the greatest show . . .

maybe they go back to whichever head they were harvested from, or whichever plastics factory

do you think she knows the apocalypse is going to adversely effect her access to hair extensions lol

have been sending a lot of texts that are just emojis lately which feels like it has to represent some kind of brain regression

you have to take MY side! i outrank her!

you can tell i’m passionate about how much this reply blows because i don’t even follow either of these people!

SHUT DA FUCK UUUUUUP

yes twice plus one sneaky bathroom stop in a restaurant i did not otherwise patronize lol

*5 lol

oh is that all? hm. felt like more lol

i started at 125th and ended up at delancey, but i also zigzagged across avenues a few times

happy international women’s day to us all ❤️

They're going to poison a city with 17 million people

lmao like ten minutes later this adorable little gay boy stopped me to say ‘your boobs are sitting SO well in that shirt have a blessed day’

now i know what you’re thinking: but rax surely this man didn’t stand in the middle of the sidewalk doing the ‘we’re not worthy’ bow at you. well,

‘my queen! the most beautiful girl! god is good! god is a new yorker!’ - guy on broadway to me

War crime upon war crime upon war crime

it's only 4 times larger than Iraq, has only 90 million people, only 95% of it is mountain or desert and they've only been mentally prepping for being invaded for 40 years. Gonna be a breeze

precisely

rules for an Extra Long Walk:
1) can only spend whatever cash happens to be in my wallet already
2) cannot combine Extra Long Walk with other tasks or errands — this is not about maximizing convenience
3) impromptu stops are encouraged
4) food and water are obviously a must

God I hate this idea. People are not one more image of a dead baby away from radicalisation. We don't lack will, we lack any real means to act on our will because the left has ceased to be a political project and become a few thousand people trying to Post their way out of Posting.

bald tim robinson, you say 👀

Freedom of speech painting

I don’t think losing an election means you were “right about everything” or “tried to warn” all of us

(extremely boston accent) Penelope