Androo/MisterRoo

Today is a day already. Swelling is making walking/sitting/driving quite difficult today. Also having to drive my mom to her pre cancer blood test check so I get to sit in the hot van in 90F heat again for an hour. A few other things went bad this morning but i won't get into it here.

MisterRoo - Twitch Back... FOR SCIENCE!

Stream Round 2 today!
Time for SCIENCE with friends!
Returning to Abiotic Factor!
www.twitch.tv/MisterRoo

WELL NOW, would you look at that? A massive GLOBAL study revealed COVID-19 vaccines utilizing mRNA technology PREVENTED OVER 2.5 MILLION deaths WORLDWIDE between 2020 and 2024.

It reveals that vaccinations didn’t JUST protect against illness.

They PRESERVED nearly 15 MILLION years of human life.

MisterRoo - Twitch Where the heck am I?!

Uhh... wait a moment...
This is not Pixelmon or Cobblemon...
Where am I?!
Time to figure out the Liminal Industries!
www.twitch.tv/MisterRoo

Others point it out then over time they start taking advantage of me because I don't want to lose friendship. But then I worry if I ask about or bring things up, I'm self sabotaging myself.

Maybe I'm just tired of all these years of being taken advantage of but trapped because housing/food/pay is always held over my head on it. I'm sure my own depression is not helping either all these years, but it's like it's ingrained in me to not resist or question things.

Is this something I should be concerned about and relay to other family members? Or is this something I should address the next time it is brought up by her? She also owes me for the last few years of me driving her places with a constant 'ill pay you back later' excuse that most people use on me.

Question for those of you with far more dating experience than me; I sometimes have to drive my brother's girlfriend places as she is unable to drive. Often during those drives, conversations aroused where she states she will leave my brother if he does XYZ. (Cont)

Then pitch it to the other groups in the second hour to see what team made a game that fits specific categories. The idea of working together, making a game that actually can be played. Just letting my creative mind out for a bit for better or worse.

Something that I miss doing; When I was normally able to attend Super MAGFest and even other conventions like ReplayFX, I really enjoyed signing up for Board Game Jams. The idea that you had 2 hours to have random team mates all come together, create a game idea from scraps or old broken down games.

While I did get some sleep last night, I don't feel rested, my body is in so much pain, I just don't want to be conscious any more.

Yessss for Ecco the Dolphin!

Twitch Twitch is the world

not streaming myself but involved in a charity game of BotC over here;
www.twitch.tv/malakaisilve...
I also dare someone to make a donation to the charity to make me MAD as a Mayor, even if the Mayor is not on the script.

if your trans acceptance doesn't include gnc, non-binary, genderfluid, etc. folks it's not trans acceptance.

if you try to put people outside the binary onto the binary by forcing feminine/masculine labels on us based on how we look, you're not an ally

that type of space is not safe for gnc people

Just got sent a text message from my mom... Asking me what time it is...

Noo, may he rest in peace after such a long life.

🦡 🍄 🐍 archive.org/details/flas...

Also stream this morning, once I pick something to stream. Hey BSky, any plans for native polls anytime soon?

Awake-ish, body in pain. Abdominal scan confirmed for next Wednesday. I need to find transportation. Also morning med check to the rest of you.

What's worse is that I realized it was a dream, mid dream, and tried to change its course, then was pulled back into the nightmare aspect. For once it was a proper nightmare and not... Really a sexual one?

And yea, my dreams are weird and bad like that. Even with being awake for an hour now, trying to clear my head. There is a high chance I'll fall asleep if I can and the dream will resume or try to repeat from where it stopped when I woke up. It's happened before.

Awake from a really bad dream. My entire body actually hurts after waking up from said dream, almost as if my body felt and reacted to things in it and my muscles are now in pain because of it. I'm also now in a state of being so tired but unable to fall asleep. I don't want the dream to resume.

Oddly yes but calling it a shell of its old self is still giving too much recognition.

Strange action came over me this morning... Went an logged back into LiveJournal. And was reminded of past me. Not sure how I feel right now.

Awake ish after uhh... 3 hours of broken sleep and dreams. Woken up by the piercing barks of my brother's dog. But honestly... Dreams last night just kind of made me wish I woke up the opposite gender. I really wish I had extra expendable funds to commission female Androo art.

Apparently ICE is about to start putting out ads on platforms?

If these ads come to Twitch, here's a (hopefully) handy tip when one comes on:
1. Click the gear icon, bottom right of the player.
2. Click "Report Playback Issue".
3. Select this option.

Hopefully this will work!

even sleep and dreams are of no peace any longer. having a trash heap of a living space. not cleaning myself. not feeding myself. not acting and doing simple things or even trying to fix myself any more. I just don't have the right energy remaining for it.

It's why I'll be single and never find a partner. I'll never be the right one for someone else, that friendships will crumble due to my own mental hell and stress. And that I'll always be trapped in a butler like state to interact for and with others. Self inflicted and mirrored guilt.

every day inches closer to just... the idea of giving up more and more. that no matter how much I give or try to give, there never should be an expectation of anything in return. and even glimmers of that in my own head make contradictions and stress and trust issues.

And no matter how much I give back, offer to help, to care for others, and the like... me making this statement puts it all into question. in my own mind, am I being greedy? giving so much in hopes of others giving to me? taking advantage of kindness? making poor choices on resources?