The Human Term & Condition

doing the whole Statler and Waldorf routine from the sideline

getting *two* cuck chairs so that we can both watch someone else have sex in our bed so that we don't have to

evil is when people disagree with me specifically

real guy who meets all acts of genuine kindness with eye rolls, scoffs and comments on how "that's only the bare minimum"

GOD: behold! i have made the first ontologically evil ape!

ANGEL: eww, gross. why is it hairless?

GOD: shut up, Gabe. at least i didn't put a duckbill on it this time

turns out i murdered the doctor cause the genre is "subverting your expectations". egg on your face, i guess

any liquid is lube if you just hate science enough

MY PSYCHOLOGIST, LOCKING THE DOOR TO THEIR OFFICE: tell me, squat; do you believe in nominative determinism?

ME: what do you mean, Dr. Murderpsycho?

"i do believe in money! i do! i do!" the Economy Understander sobs into his Bespoke Bored Ape NFT Nappy™ as he reads about Elon Musk getting a pay package worth a Zambinillion dollars

remember, respecting your oppressors is the most punk thing you can do✊

i may be a badass but i would NEVER be rude to a police officer!

what's your favourite number to see on a digital watch mine is 23:23

some people who i once considered friends have been blocking me, but this has done nothing but galvanise my resolve in accordance of the principle of "number of haters = degree to which i am in the right"

for the past year and a half i have been running a vendetta on Facebook against the dog groomer that refused to book me in for an hour of combing my hair and calling me a good little doggo

saw my neighbour out working. told me he was installing an 'overton window'. asked him why there was so much space on the right side. he said it's a feature in case he needed to move it. asked him if he shouldn't leave some space on the left as well and then he said no and sexually harassed my wife

@tunguz at X/twitter writes "We are selling our baby trebuchet. We only used it a couple of times. PM me for a quote." Pictured is a baby basket mounted on a catapult contraption. "Readers added context: This is not a baby trebuchet. It is a baby catapult. Trebuchet has a counterweight (link to dictionary.com)"

for sale: baby catapult, rarely fired

it's not a humiliation fetish! it's not a humiliation fetish! i scream whilst reaching for a paper towel

"yeah hi i'm a 2025 political commentator. what that mostly entails is that i go online, right, and post my ideological brainrot so that people can dunk on me endlessly"

shakira law
Shakira law new yoek
Shakira law alimony new york
Shakira law make children call parents

man can you imagine getting owned in public as a day job?

Deep Blue Pee

real guy who uses "socialist" as a slur and doesn't understand why everyone else goes 'whoopeee' whenever they say it

lmao look at how flammable this bridge is. soft, weak bridge. loser bridge. beta bridge. get burnt, dummy.

anyone got a boat i can borrow?

you wouldn't download a hot single dad in your area

if Jurrasic Parkworld just thought of this they wouldn't have to close

Tyrannosaurus Sex

*Judge Doom dips a cartoon shoe in paint solvent*

LT. SANTINO THE NEOREACTIONARY: see that would never happen to me because i would never break a law

they're never gonna call a train to take us to Horny Jail. they can't. because we're already there. *this* is Horny Jail.

using AI to tell me exactly how using AI for research actually does adhere to the scientific method 👍

on a first name basis with ChatGPT