Schaffer the Darklord

Over the years, I've released 3 albums in a series called "Junk Drawer." These Bandcamp exclusives are collections of unreleased tracks: remixes, covers & songs w/samples I can't afford to clear for proper release. On Fri Dec 5th, I will release a 4th one.

schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

Nov 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes:
new Department of Darkness track "Headphones" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW ep68, bonus cover of Beastie Boys' "Professor Booty," photo set of Kenner SW collection updates & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord

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Many heartfelt thanks to everybody who made this birthday special by posting comments, sharing purple pics, sending gifts, etc. Y’all really know how to make an old Darklord feel loved. #schafferday

November 14th, 2025. Today is my birthday. #schafferday

If you'd like to buy me a drink...
Venmo: @markschaffer718
PayPal: paypal.me/schafferthedarklord
CashApp: $schafferthedarklord

Also, please subscribe to my Patreon…
www.patreon.com/c/schafferth...

Thank you, friends.

My birthday is next Friday November 14th. In the interest of continuing a 14-year tradition, I again humbly ask that you indulge me and celebrate this non-holiday by posting a photo of you wearing something purple on the 14th and tagging it #schafferday Thank you.

The only NYC mayor that rural MAGA shitposters have ever respected is Rudy Giuliani. He was Republican. He was Christian. He was married to his cousin.

Thoughts and prayers to everyone online who is furious and terrified over mayoral election results in a city they’ve never visited. 🗽❤️

This year’s jack-o-lantern pays tribute to the one from the opening shot of my favorite horror movie: Creepshow (1982). 🎃

YouTube video by Schaffer The Darklord Schaffer The Darklord - Every Survival Horror Game (Official Music Video)

This month I've replayed Resident Evil VII, Resident Evil: Village & the remake of Silent Hill 2 which reminds me that last year I released a song about these things. This holiday season, please revisit my music video for "Every Survival Horror Game." youtu.be/mpmYAdXkchc?...

I’ve done lots of weird stuff this month. (Naturally. It’s Halloween, I’ve been busy with the #Bunnys31DaysofHalloween project, and well, I’m just generally a weird little guy.) But the weirdest thing I’ve done this month is creating a silicone crucifix. Happy Halloween, creeps.

I have a very bad feeling about this...

Schaffer the Darklord - Pumpkin Schaffer the Darklord and Bunny Buxom perform "Pumpkin" during "HORRORSHOW: A Musical Tribute to Scary Movies" in October 2024. (Features clips…

Bunny Buxom and I perform "Pumpkin" during "HORRORSHOW: A Musical Tribute to Scary Movies" in October 2024. Download the track from Bandcamp now: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

vimeo.com/1124214693?s...

Today is Bandcamp Friday, when the site waives its fees for artists' benefit. I've just dropped an EP of 2 love songs about paranormal beings: Pumpkin + Scary and Naked. Grab them for your Halloween playlists & maybe pick up some other stuff while you're there. schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com

Sept 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes new track "Scary and Naked" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW episode 66, photo set of #bunnys31daysofhalloween, bonus cover of Misfits' "Hybrid Moments" & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord Thank you, friends.

Friends! Please wish a very happy birthday to this beautiful burlesque badass and bombshell embalmer, Bunny Buxom! Today is Bunny Day, and so is every other day, fools! 💜❤️

Just this year alone, the MAGA movement’s core values have been retconned more times than the Halloween film franchise.

YouTube video by Schaffer The Darklord Collect All 79 - Ep7 | Restoring Kenner Millennium Falcon Vintage Star Wars Figures

In the latest episode of "Collect All 79," I restore a vintage Kenner Millennium Falcon. Check it out and subscribe, nerds! #starwars #toycollecting #kenner youtu.be/16MYCoLSQAU?...

August 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes: new track "Vintage Gentlemen Tour" with instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW ep65, cover of E-40's "Choices," 2 photo sets, bonus video & more! Subscribe today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord Thank you, friends.

YouTube video by Schaffer The Darklord Collect All 79 - Ep6 | Six More Vintage Kenner Star Wars Figures

A new episode of "Collect All 79" has just dropped! This sixth installment in my chronicles of vintage Star Wars action figure collecting reveals six new acquisitions! Please like and subscribe, nerds! #kenner #starwars #toycollecting www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4UK...

PITTSBURGH, PA! Sunday August 3rd! The Vintage Gentlemen Tour (@mc.frontalot.com & @schafferthedark.bsky.social) wraps up at Bottlerocket Social Hall. Doors at 7pm, show @ 8pm. Tix: app.opendate.io/e/mc-frontal...

CLEVELAND, OH! Saturday August 2nd! The Vintage Gentlemen Tour (@mc.frontalot.com & @schafferthedark.bsky.social) arrives at The Foundry with special guest @mayorwertz.bsky.social! Doors @ 7pm, show @ 8pm. Tix: www.schafferthedarklord.com/tour/index.h...

DETROIT, MI! Thursday July 31st! The Vintage Gentlemen Tour (@mc.frontalot.com & @schafferthedark.bsky.social) arrives at @sanctuarydetroit.bsky.social with special guest Mark Cooper. Doors @ 7pm, show @ 8pm. Tix: www.schafferthedarklord.com/tour/index.h...

COLUMBUS, OH! Wednesday July 30th! The Vintage Gentlemen Tour (@mc.frontalot.com & @schafferthedark.bsky.social) arrives at Rumba Cafe with special guests Huge Euge! Doors @ 7pm. Show @ 8pm. Tix: www.schafferthedarklord.com/tour/index.h...

ROCHESTER, NY! Tues. July 29th! The Vintage Gentlemen Tour (@mc.frontalot.com & @schafferthedark.bsky.social) arrives at @bugjarshows.bsky.social. Doors @ 7pm. Show @ 8pm. Tix: www.schafferthedarklord.com/tour/index.h...

Washington, DC! Sunday July 27th! The Vintage Gentlemen Tour (@mc.frontalot.com & @schafferthedark.bsky.social) arrives at Pie Shop with special guest Prowess the Testament. Doors @ 7:30pm. Tix: www.pieshopdc.com/shows/schaff...

CAMBRIDGE, MA! Sat. July 26th! The Vintage Gentlemen Tour (@mc.frontalot.com & @schafferthedark.bsky.social) arrives at Cantab Lounge for an early show. Doors @ 5pm, Show @ 6pm. Tix: wl.eventim.us/event/mc-fro...

PHILADELPHIA! Wednesday July 23rd! The Vintage Gentlemen Tour (@mc.frontalot.com & @schafferthedark.bsky.social) arrives at Nikki Lopez. Doors @ 7pm, Show @ 7:30pm. Tix: www.ticketweb.com/event/mc-fro... #vintagegentlemen #nerdcore

NEW YORK CITY! This Friday July 25th, catch the Vintage Gentlemen Tour (@mc.frontalot.com & @schafferthedark.bsky.social) with special guest @lextheconartist.bsky.social at Soho Live NYC. Doors @ 7pm, Show @ 8pm. Tix: www.soholivenyc.com#/events/137109

Good news!

1. I finally got my hacked FB page back after 5 mos.

2. Catch me live w/@mc.frontalot.com in July/Aug on Vintage Gentlemen Tour! Philly, NYC, Boston, DC, Rochester, Columbus, Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburgh. Tix: www.schafferthedarklord.com/tour/index.h...

Pic: Ryan Spence 6/27/2025