HEY, ROCHESTER! Today is @lextheconartist.bsky.social bday & tix for our matinee show at Bug Jar on Sat 6/27 JUST went on sale, so...DO IT!
Friends in Columbus, Pittsburgh, NYC, Philly & Baltimore: tix for our tour w/Master Hand on sale too! DO THAT ALSO!
schafferthedarklord.com/tour/index.h...
I'm loving Resident Evil Requiem. If you are too, please enjoy this music video for my song "Every Survival Horror Game," in which I celebrate all the reliable tropes of the genre in costumes as James Sunderland, Alan Wake and my dude, Leon S. Kennedy. youtu.be/mpmYAdXkchc?...
02.03.2026 13:57 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
This is the cover art for my new Patreon song about traveling back in time to 2015 in hopes of stopping…all of this. Can you find all the references to 2015 in this image?
(This month’s content also includes a cover of Mega Ran’s “Infinite Lives,” released in 2015.)
www.patreon.com/c/schafferth...
SATURDAY MAY 16th, 2026! Rabbit Hole Productions returns to Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY for TASSELMANIA 8! Your favorite episodic, burlesque/drag/nightlife combat entertainment event is back!
Tix on sale now: littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_...
When MAGA’s sharpest minds rationalize hatred for their perceived enemies (Democrats, immigrants, journalists, educators, liberals, etc.) it’s always: “They’re evil, and they want to destroy America.” This is also how a child would explain Megatron to a grown-up.
17.02.2026 12:55 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
New episode of Collect All 79 just dropped! In this installment, I get my hands on the final five Endor figures I need for my collection, plus a vintage Kenner Speeder Bike. Please like and subscribe nerds! www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mpdq...
16.02.2026 17:41 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT! This June/July I will hit the road with nerdy nu metal group @masterhandnerdcore.bsky.social & nerdcore superstar @lextheconartist.bsky.social! Columbus, Pittsburgh, NYC, Philadelphia and Baltimore. Tix on sale now at schafferthedarklord.com/tour
Tour poster by Nick Uroseva
MAGA’s devotion to groupthink means millions of fools now have to pretend to like Kid Rock. I remember when Americans were in agreement that his music was dog shit, but now old boot-licking bigots are hearing “Cool Daddy Cool” while choking out the words “oh, yeah, man. This is great. Woo.”
04.02.2026 12:48 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Jan 2026 Patreon content is up! This month includes new track “Remember Me?” w/lyrics & remix kit, STD SHW ep69, bonus Snoop Dogg cover, bonus drum video of “Don’t You Forget About Me” & more! This is an excellent time to sign up @ Patreon.com/schafferthedarklord
Thank you, friends.
Don’t (stop) tread(ing) on me (Daddy)!
30.01.2026 16:15 — 👍 10 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 2
Saturday May 16th, 2026: The greatest episodic wrestling-themed burlesque/drag nightlife event of all time returns to Brooklyn. Mark your calendars. Rest your voices. TasselMania is back! #TM8
19.01.2026 21:27 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
In the new episode of "Collect All 79," I hunt down the remaining droids I need on my mission to collect, restore, complete and display the first 79 vintage Kenner Star Wars action figures. #starwars #kenner #toycollecting
www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1g4...
Happy anniversary of “Trump told them to go peacefully but he pardoned everyone who disobeyed but people strolling through the Capitol isn’t a riot but FBI instigators started the riots but he’s a strong commander-in-chief but Speaker Pelosi didn’t deploy the National Guard” to those who celebrate.
06.01.2026 13:14 — 👍 8 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
“This is it. This is what you’ve trained for all year. New Year’s Eve. The BIG DANCE. You got this. We all believe in you.”
-a coke dealer’s coach
Watch me play along with a drum-less mix of the Jackson 5's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." Recommended for anyone who delights in children terrified of Santa. youtu.be/105hceHkw0k?...
24.12.2025 16:45 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Yesterday I dropped an album called "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family," which collects 8 of the holiday songs I've created over the past 13 years. One is House Tickle Pfeiffer. youtu.be/M7z6Y7yWsHU?...
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Today I dropped an album called "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family," which collects 8 of the holiday songs I've created over the past 13 years. One is Hail Santa. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRPC...
Grab the album here: schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
With just 1 week left 'til Xmas, I've got something to help you survive the Whamageddon homestretch. "Holiday Favorites for the Whole Family" collects 6 of my seasonal songs (plus 2 unreleased tracks) in one convenient playlist to terrorize your family.
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
The new episode of "Collect All 79" takes a look at the vintage Kenner AT-AT! Please subscribe, nerds! #starwars #kenner #toycollecting
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdL1...
Junk Drawer Part 4 is here! This latest installment in my series of b-side compilations includes 17 previously unreleased original tracks & cover songs. ALSO! Today is Bandcamp Friday, so please download this sexy collection now. Thank you, friends.
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com/album/junk-d...
Happy birthday, @mc.frontalot.com! I'm gonna mail you all the Star Wars toys I stole from your mom's house.
03.12.2025 17:51 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Over the years, I've released 3 albums in a series called "Junk Drawer." These Bandcamp exclusives are collections of unreleased tracks: remixes, covers & songs w/samples I can't afford to clear for proper release. On Fri Dec 5th, I will release a 4th one.
schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com
Nov 2025 Patreon content is up! This month includes:
new Department of Darkness track "Headphones" w/instro/acapella/lyrics, STD SHW ep68, bonus cover of Beastie Boys' "Professor Booty," photo set of Kenner SW collection updates & more! Sign up today at patreon.com/schafferthedarklord
…J-D41-252-5…
21.11.2025 15:23 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 1Many heartfelt thanks to everybody who made this birthday special by posting comments, sharing purple pics, sending gifts, etc. Y’all really know how to make an old Darklord feel loved. #schafferday
17.11.2025 16:23 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
November 14th, 2025. Today is my birthday. #schafferday
If you'd like to buy me a drink...
Venmo: @markschaffer718
PayPal: paypal.me/schafferthedarklord
CashApp: $schafferthedarklord
Also, please subscribe to my Patreon…
www.patreon.com/c/schafferth...
Thank you, friends.
My birthday is next Friday November 14th. In the interest of continuing a 14-year tradition, I again humbly ask that you indulge me and celebrate this non-holiday by posting a photo of you wearing something purple on the 14th and tagging it #schafferday Thank you.
07.11.2025 13:39 — 👍 10 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 2The only NYC mayor that rural MAGA shitposters have ever respected is Rudy Giuliani. He was Republican. He was Christian. He was married to his cousin.
06.11.2025 16:18 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Thoughts and prayers to everyone online who is furious and terrified over mayoral election results in a city they’ve never visited. 🗽❤️
05.11.2025 03:04 — 👍 19 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
This year’s jack-o-lantern pays tribute to the one from the opening shot of my favorite horror movie: Creepshow (1982). 🎃
30.10.2025 02:54 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0