Chess

A sausage/hot dog slicer

Me when I learn anything new about the Epstein files

Couple things:
1) love how they immediately knew the history of his gun at a glance
2) I thought the guns didn’t kill people and the people killed people 🤔

“Why was he carrying a gun at a protest?” - Men who can’t go to the grocery store unarmed

How much of that first ten grand bonus that each ICE officer got do you guys think went on sports betting. Gotta be like 90% minimum right

You mean to tell me that evil and ugly ICE has recently publicly executed *Good*, and *Pretti*

“But you won’t be in danger if you comply!” Every woman with two minutes of experience with fragile, volatile men understands that’s not true.

No no let the fascist invade the cold place in the winter

This has historically worked out for them

I just read Sunrise on the Reaping (I’m in pain) but I can’t help but feel like Suzanne Collins is working on Finnick’s story to highlight how the president was also a human trafficker

“He was in the path of the car!”
Because he LEANED OVER THE HOOD to FIRE A GUN THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD you fucking GHOUL

This plot line is covered in Aquariumtopia, not Zootopia

Stephen Miller is what happens when a testicle makes a wish upon a star to become a real boy

Luckily I made a playlist for this exact current event months ago

open.spotify.com/playlist/4T0...

I’m happy Taylor got her masters back for a lot of reasons, but the funniest reason is so I can take my butt back to that mattress to have my little controlled microdose of internalized misogyny again. Y’know, as a treat.

It’s so crazy that our parents taught us common sense and then completely forgot all of it by the time we became adults

Good morning !

God: ok so the fires and natural disasters weren’t enough of a sign for these humans
Angel: no, and the pope passing away on Easter after meeting the Vice President was a bust
God: Medammit, what do I have to burn down next to get these omens through to them?
Angel: Plantation?
God: yeah, good call

Mentally preparing for Target to up their Pride merch game to buy back the gays. We must stay strong, people.

You mean to tell me these animals are crossed?

Boss makes a dollar and I make a nickel
Hey look they just turned that guy into a pickle

Funniest shit I’ve ever seen in my life

Google turned off reviews for the Gulf of America, but don’t worry! You can still Suggest an Edit for the name of their HQ

Taylor Swift wearing a neutral white because she’s an Eagles fan is so funny to me

Bro, you gotta heed the omies and porties (omens and portents)

Personally I would never do Elizabeth and Darcy from specifically from the 2005 P&P like that. Couple of grade-A yearners, those two.

And now we have earthquakes in New England. Bro, the omens

There’s just something about men being a lil bit pathetic…

No no no guys you don’t understand, the cancer research has been stopped because that one fetus you want to abort might cure it someday 🙃

Conservatives when their guy renames a body of water that has had the same name since 1550: 🤩🎉🥳✨💖
Conservatives when a pancake company changes their name: 👹👎🤬🤮🖕

Are you guys really asking if 4chan: The Person fascist-saluted on purpose????

Do you think Trump is mad that Elon did the salute? Not because of the salute itself, he doesn’t give a fuck about that, but because it was like the racist equivalent of proposing at someone else’s wedding?