✨CHELLE D☯GGO✨(she/they)

sweet!

also i've been pronouncing their stage name as "bee-bee-noss"

apparently it's supposed to be pronounced "baby no money"

God i'm old

i don't really know who bbno$ is or why they're so controversial and at this point i'm afraid to ask.

i think they're like a musician or something?

wrote another #TADC wholesome hypno fic to help comfort me today.

this one features some FunnyBunny (with a little FunnyBunnyDoll implied at the end)

#theamazingdigitalcircus #pomni #jax #ragatha #gangle #zooble #kinger #fanfiction

"Let It Out" by ChelleDoggo

archiveofourown.org/works/80900606

trying that now

amazon not letting me post a review for the used DVD box set i ordered from a third party seller (that was missing most of the discs) because in said review i mention everything wrong with the product.

what a fucking joke.

i can't take it anymore.

any time someone is kind to me it's like a stab right in the chest because all i can think is "i don't deserve this, i don't deserve this, i don't deserve this."

i feel like a monster for making people feel compelled to waste their kindness on me.

(i deserve it)

God hates me

yeah, my dad's gonna get it.

so my house has no hot water now and we can't get the part to fix it until tomorrow

kill me

heads up.

someone leaked a supposed voice clip from TADC ep 8.

i don't know if it's real. if it is, then i don't know if Glitch allowed it or not.

in any case, be careful.

i think i exclusively refuse to give myself grace for things i would give my friends grace for.

she's claiming to no longer support him and to "want to do the work" but she's really just crying on camera and begging for forgiveness. it's all super performative.

i wish i didn't depend on other people.

then i could just self-isolate and not be a bother to others.

it's not her.

it's some white woman "documenting" her "MAGA deconstruction journey" for clout lol.

even now i'm too afraid to admit the kind of person i was with my whole chest.

i will never forgive 2010s me.

ever.

and i feel guilty that people care about me at all.

if you knew what i was like back then, you'd hate me.

mark my words: that ex-MAGA woman on instagram who's crying and begging for forgiveness will be back to supporting Trump in a month tops.

she'll be on far-right podcasts complaining about how she was "bullied" by the left when in reality she was being held accountable for the damage her people did.

i've been ignorant. i've hurt people emotionally. i've said some awful things to and about people.

i'm being super vague here because i'm afraid to be honest.

i'm still selfishly afraid of being hated even when i know i'm not worthy of love.

there's shit i'm too scared to come right out and say about my past because i know people would hate me.

like i've never done anything illegal or been like a Nazi or anything but...

...i'm not a good person.

i wish i could be happier so other people didn't have to worry or feel bad for me.

God i hate myself so much

i hate that i crave friendship and kindness even knowing i don't deserve it

this ad is cryptic

i wanted to get one of those Nee Doh Nice Cubes to see what the hype was all about but you literally can't find them ANYWHERE.

are they that good?

i'm watching that Foodfight movie and the differences in mic quality are SO jarring.

the main characters sound like they're in a professional recording booth, while everyone else sounds like they're recording on gaming headsets they bought on temu.

(i know there is one but the producer's an awful person.)

(tbh i'm waiting on JakeNeutron, KittenSneeze, or CG5 to do one.)

God i need an Amanda Hufford Ragatha solo song yesterday

i know God forgives me but i absolutely refuse to forgive myself.

if i do, i believe i could end up falling back into indirect complicitness.

the guilt i feel is painful, but it helps me keep trying to be better.

i haven't earned the right to make peace with my past.

if you feel uncomfortable walking this path alone, think of how alone marginalized people feel right now.

your loneliness and discomfort aren't even a drop in a bucket compared to women, LGBTQIA+ folks, BIPOC, and immigrants in this country.

you'll almost certainly survive a little discomfort.