Zalgardis

Orc Cleric: I didn't know that Kolo came in chihuahua size.
Kobold Rogue: Smolo!
#pathfinfer2e

Instructor: I'm so happy that I can say this and know that you'll get it. To practice the sound we're looking for, I need you to give me your best Mrs. Doubtfire.
Me: HELLO!
Instructor: Exactly that.
#vocalist

May it pass quickly

Instructor: And what will you think of when working on this?
Me: Swedish Chef, stupid bird, and "mawwiage."
Instructor: Good.
#vocalist

Instructor: Your pronunciation is off. Think more like the Swedish chef.
Me: ... I hate that THAT WORKED!
#vocalist

Best moment of traveling today;
The TSA agent noticing and complimenting my "I AM THE HYPE" shirt.

"You fool! You've exposed your weak point to me!"

The cover of Aurora Volume 1 in a Barnes and Noble shelf.

Found @aurorawebcomic.bsky.social at Barnes and Noble. Time to lend it to friends and family and get them hooked.

60 below

Coworker: Sooooo, you like to fiddle with things in the system, right?
Me: I fear my comments are about to get me in trouble... what things in particular?
#outofcontextwork

Vocal instructor: Apparently I was quoted?
Me: It was @graismanic.bsky.social that ratted me, wasn't it.

Vocal instructor: You take in so much air, hut you refuse to use it.
Me: My JRPG habits are showing again.

GM: Unfortunately, the "certain death" is a 500ft drop.
Aasimar Paladin, with wings: ...dammit!
#pathfinder1e

GM: One door leads to safety, one door leads to certain death.
Paladin: Let's find this "certain death" and kick its ass.
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg

GM: So, that's a 38 attack against you.
Paladin: That would hit... if he wasn't the target of my smite.
GM: ... K, so they HAVE to roll a Nat 20 to hit you.
#pathfinder1e

Undead guardian: Divest yourselves of your weapons and armor and we shall take you before our great Pharoah.
Cryptbreaker Alchemist: Counter offer-
Undead Scourge Warrior of the Holy Light Paladin: *draws flaming holy scimitar* Get FUCKED!
#pathfinder1e

Welcome, and congrats on another cycle.

GAMES CREATORS SUPPORT ARCHIVAL AND PRESERVATION EFFORTS - INCLUDING ASSETS SAVED BY PIRACY

Vocal coach: There's a reason I never schedule anyone after your lessons.
Me: ...thanks?
#outofcontext #vocallessons

YouTube video by Tre Watson The Third Sanctuary (DELTARUNE) || Metal Cover by @TreWatsonMusic

I feel that @trewatsonmusic.com has made the best metal cover of Third Sanctuary. Like, this one just has the right feel.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXRn...

"Healing Handjob" was not a phrase I was expecting at the table today...
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg

Paladin: I move forward, say "sorry Alchemist" and bring the light.
*flashbang noise*
Invisible alchemist: FU-
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg

GM: You don't know what she said, but you know it is naughty and offends the snake dazing them for a turn.
Paladin: How does a snake clutch their pearls?
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg

GM: See, the normal way she does her shit is negated by THAT thing.
Paladin *waves*
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg

GM: You see treasure chests spilling with treasures and wondrous tapestries.
Alchemist: Ah, this is why I had to stay. Thank you, Abadar!
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg

Paladin: So that's minimum damage on the crit-
GM: Thank God.
Paladin: -of 64.
GM: The hell?!
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg

Alchemist: And now I brace myself.
GM: Yes, prepare for digestion!
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg

GM: It has a gag reflex for comedic purposes.
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg

Key word "had."

I enjoyed it. I need to revisit it.