The government wants over a trillion for war against Iran. For a comparatively smaller price of 1 billion, I will not go to war with Iran. Consider this offer
09.03.2026 02:02 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The government wants over a trillion for war against Iran. For a comparatively smaller price of 1 billion, I will not go to war with Iran. Consider this offer
09.03.2026 02:02 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Commenting "Guess they listened to my mixtape haha" under every single post of a burning military base
02.03.2026 07:15 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
*Drake and Travis Scott voice*
Cells within cells (ay-yuh)
Interlinked (interlinked)
Some if y'all don't know the first meaning of "ganrielfuebad"
07.02.2026 19:07 — 👍 0 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Olympic curling my beloved
04.02.2026 21:01 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I smell a market inefficiency with all these LLMs that reaffirm literally everything you tell them, so within the next couple of years we're getting the AI that negs you
04.01.2026 07:40 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Tell me about the rabbits, Grok
02.01.2026 18:55 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I'm not mad, I just don't like the cut of your gib
02.01.2026 07:48 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Everyone! You'll never believe this! I invented a new year! It's called 2026... *notices I've been beaten to market* Great! Well there goes my fucking retirement!
01.01.2026 09:19 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Ok, we're approaching midnight. It's just three words. You can do this. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, CRAPPY NEW YEAR!!! ...FUCK!"
31.12.2025 17:24 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0My presidential platform will consist solely of prosecuting all ISP executives for providing shit service and I will get 99% of the popular vote
29.12.2025 03:21 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Opinions are like assholes: yours are stinky
27.12.2025 12:37 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I've done breakfast for dinner many a time, but I've never been so daring as to attempt brunch for dinner
27.12.2025 12:35 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Don't let the door hit you on your way out! If you do, there's a glitch that softlocks the game and you have to start a new save
25.12.2025 23:52 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Life of Brian is a Christmas movie
25.12.2025 19:15 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Triceratops best dinosaur
24.12.2025 02:29 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0No fortune in my fortune cookie. Goodbye everyone. I wish I spent more time posting
24.12.2025 00:45 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0My posts with no likes aren't bad, they're just temporarily embarrassed bangers
22.12.2025 00:14 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Damn, this cat really loves lasagna
21.12.2025 23:51 — 👍 19 🔁 5 💬 1 📌 0A lifetime of pain as a Bears fan was worth it for that one fucking game
21.12.2025 04:39 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Many people are calling 2026 "The Year of the Linux Desktop"
20.12.2025 00:45 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The sunk cost phalluses
20.12.2025 00:37 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0It's like watching a basketball player soaring through the air as a perfectly placed alley-oop hits their hands and they proceed to launch the ball backwards across the court into their own net
19.12.2025 23:08 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I get embarrassed by a single fucking typo and the most powerful people in the world write like they got kicked in the head by a mule
19.12.2025 22:17 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Oh yeah? Well, the Jerk Store called and said "sign up for our loyalty rewards program to earn big savings this holiday season!"
17.12.2025 19:33 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Tonight I learned I have this fiancée
06.12.2025 01:01 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Get yourself a fiancée that goes into Advanced Good Samaritan Mode after witnessing a car accident and even does a better job of checking in on everyone than some of the emergency services
06.12.2025 01:01 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Crasher Wake? More like Crasher Woke
05.12.2025 04:34 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Launching a single-issue campaign and that issue is legalizing counterfeiting. "If it looks like a dollar, it is a dollar"
02.12.2025 22:41 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0