Redheads have more fun

I really enjoy when people cut me off… it gets me there.

You do shots of liquor, I do shots of maple syrup.

We’re not the same.

Courage is staring your shadow in the face.

A moment of silence for a dear friend that suffered a big loss today. 🙏🏻

I love you 💜💔💜

My mom died. What a weird turn of events.

Doesn't anyone have a fucking job!?!

*Me, anytime I have a day off and encounter a crowd.

Closing time, earthlings.

You don’t have to go to another planet but you can’t stay here.

If she sends you a tit pic be sure to focus on the details in your compliments. Mention her nipples and areolas and make her feel confident and comfortable…ya jerks.

I'm that's gonna stay on the floor for a bit years old.

As we head into the unknown, remember this: it won’t be politicians or billionaires or good guys with guns who save you. It will be women. It will be your auntie, your bubbe, your abuela. It will be a middle aged neighbor lady, a church lady, a food bank volunteer, a teacher. It will be every woman you see at the PTA or library story hour or march for immigrant rights. Women with creases around their eyes, slack skin on their hands, wry jokes on their lips. Women with recipes and extra linens and long experience showing up to help. It will be women because we women know that there is no point in saving ourselves if we don’t save everyone we love - and everyone we might grow to love - as well. As you begin to navigate the next four years, you can be sure that somewhere a woman is already planning how to help her friends, family, and neighbors. I hope you welcome her when she comes to help you. I hope you become her when someone needs help.

Takes a dump in the general direction of the inauguration

Welcome to Stupid, population America.

more like Mark SUCKerberg

It begins.

I actually really appreciate that you guys enjoy my words more than my ass pics. 🥹💙

Boops both nipples while saying boop.

Good morning. Delete your TikTok.

I'm doing great as long as I don't get sick...or have any accidents...or break something

My TikTok went dark

Thanks, bluesky, for being the only decent social media left

You can have my soul but don't touch my chicken nuggets

There are so many brilliant sexy women on here and I'm just all like haha you can call me your little lemon pudding cup with whipped cream topping if you wanna

Give us group DMs, cowards!

A man telling me to do something is a sure way to get me not to do it.

Block me. Do it. I’m so fucking close, daddy.

The greatest lie ever told is “I have read and agree to the terms and conditions.”

If I text you, do not call me back. That is not what my phone is for

Netflix and Mac n cheese sounds?