Alastair Ballentyne

Well here we all are then

In Scottish culture its considered masculine to be able to cook a meal, as it is to have daughters!

it’s that time in Venus’ cycle when Inanna has passed through the seven gates, surrendered her divine power and is struck dead by the underworld gods for her pride and hung from a hook like a piece of meat. it will take Ninšubara’s devotion and Enki’s life giving water and plant to revive her

📝Crystals that help with Mercury retrograde:

- bookmark/screenshot this-

💎labradorite
💎black tourmaline
💎hematite
💎amazonite
💎lapis lazuli
💎aquamarine
💎fluorite
💎clear quartz
💎shungite

Not on here anywhere near enough but I send my love to you and hope all is well in your personal microcosm 💜🙏

I wish more people could be in touch with this wisdom as I’ve been on the receiving end of that expectation.

I always said, if someone made me choose, I would choose the thing/person that didn’t.

This was a lesson I learned age 10, the details I shall spare from the public conversation.

May the Venus retrograde gods be in your favour

Anyone remember that petition to rename fire ants ‘Spicy Bois’?

I think about this often. A tragic missed opportunity.

We will not be remembered kindly by the historians.

No one:

Facebook Spiritualists:

PLUTO CREATED AUTISM

Buy my *currently* £888 (valued at £88888) pack of essential oils, extracts and boudoir pics to cure autism and remove Pluto from ‘your experience’

It must be true if a scared/angry hot person with something to sell you shares it on socials

Give It to You Ziggy Phunk · Give It to You · Song · 2016

A delightful and delicious piece of music

open.spotify.com/track/25pzB8...

No because then they can go into the bags in the right groupings!

Men who are in-tuned and open to astrology, planetary energies and overall woo woo activities exude
extremely large p*nis energy!

We must destroy the ring! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

FOR FRODO!

Primary research of course!

If you need any help with your studies! 😉

Oh hello 😘

Someone said to me this week - what would your inner Billy Butcher do?

This was in reference to making a big decision, now any time I’ve had an anxious or errant orphaned thought since I hear:

Well well well, if it isn’t the invisible c**t.

Glastonbury you delicious bastard.

Best trip yet, a lot of magic can happen when you go somewhere by yourself and just hang out.

Lots of ideas, lots of confirmations, lots of changes, and my express purpose to turn the page was recognised by the gods.

I will be back soon and probably for longer.

This is probably my fav show, no one is redeemable and they all suck, but damn is it well made.

I’ve been using this far too much recently to react to things I approve of.

I don’t intend to stop either.

I’m an ultra rad turbo man.

No one sits above me or can even contemplate the heights of my masculine prowess without spontaneously immediately making a mess of their pants or becoming pregnant.

You have been warned.

🤣

Hello! I’m on there, probably my most active platform

I will take this as a sag mars conjunct Jupiter in cap. Sag Neptune is also part of this conjunction.

I went to have a look at that but then not being able to read any of the t&c was a bit like errrrm

Full moon in cancer session over on TicTac tonight kicking off time window 8:30-9pm uk.

Find me at ‘alballentyne’

Also, if you want to stay in the loop beyond social media, have you joined my email list?

Sign up here:

alastairballentyne.com/mailinglist

my baby astro student tips, no matter which kind u end up persuing:

master planets first, then signs. aspects should be part of learning signs

luminaries first > personal planets > social > outers

learn multiple zodiacs and practice with sidereal and tropical ones concurrently

track the moon

Sometimes when the snowglobe of life is all shaken up, you can’t see the path ahead until it settles.

Don’t get caught in the trap of self-pressure to move ahead.

So whatever it is, let it play out, bide your time, be open to ideas, then you will know when it’s time to act.

Thank you so much! You are most welcome any time, if you have any questions about any of it, feel free to message is no worries.

Hai!