Bad JD

Veep Vance wishes the departing DHS cheerleader happy pursuits at her new puppy shooting range that our patriotic 2A supporters will frequent. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance had never been booed off stage until the 2026 #Olympics. Before that, he had been booed at on stage only. #dontbelikejd

Usha dressed like the couch.

Veep Vance has Usha dress like the couch to get in the mood. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance has ICE shoot moms when they don’t want to step out of their cars to lick his balls. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance states his 2028 campaign slogan as, "Yes We Klan." Thank you, @johnpavlovitz.bsky.social . #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance obsessed over finding Russell Vought a new wife because Vought needed a wife to fuck instead of resorting to fucking all federal employees. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance understands reverse causality, the #FAA, shutdowns, tariffs, and economics because he says that vacation travel has become cheaper because the swimming trunks got cheaper. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance doesn't take it as a punishment that Usha makes him sleep on the couch after fondling Erika Kirk. 🛋️💦 #dontbelikejd

It was always my plan because couches aren't people.

Veep Vance will announce his candidacy for 2028 while simultaneously announcing his divorce. #dontbylikejd

JD Vance repeats comments he wants wife Usha to convert to Christianity US vice-president announces to 10,000 attenders of Turning Point USA that he prefers wife, who is Hindu, to be Christian

Veep Vance says Usha isn't Christian. That's something he has in common with her. #dontbelikejd

I'll bet Usha's parents keep calling him "coach fucker" in Telugu.

Veep Vance says it is "totally reasonable and acceptable" for people to not want to live next door to people who speak a different language from him because the reality is that Usha's parents call him an asshole in Telugu. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance upholds "gold standard science" by appointing his friends, skirting search committees, and officiating weddings. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance reached a Gaza peace deal by mocking Senator Schumer as the "most famous Palestinian in the world." #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance tells people to not lose their shit over the "I Love Hitler" movement because Nazis are just baby boys. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance comes prepared for interviews on major networks, and he's aware who is bribing whom along with the dollar amount promised. He was telling the truth when he admitted, "that $50K bribe never happened," because the bribe was only $49,999.99. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance doesn’t carry $50K in cash earmarked for bribes when the FBI taps him. He uses Venmo or Mir payment systems instead. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance throws tantrums at @pewresearch.org for sampling bias because 8% of the US population has never heard of him while the other 92% know him only as "couch fucker." #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance opposes the 30% tariff on upholstered furniture because they are all damaged goods from dampness. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance gets his nutrition advice from Dr. Pepper. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance takes Tylenol when pregnant women's screams give him headaches. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance encourages you to find a doctor who respects traditional conservative practices. Be sure to ask about leeches. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance encourages pregnant women to listen to their doctors, especially when those doctors are named Nick Riviera, Hannibal Lecter, and Baron Heinrich von Frankenstein. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance encourages everyone to contact their mothers to determine whether they took amphetamine while pregnant. If so, you may conclude that you have ASD. This is how to follow the science. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance urges Republicans to put on the "full armor of god" because he keeps picturing them as couches and wants the belt of truth to serve as a choke rope. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance refuses to fund research on hospital vertical integration and private equity for encouraging wokeness. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance doesn't understand that he is part of that encouragement of that small group who commits gross majority of violent crime. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance's intentions for the interview with Matt Gaetz was not really to talk about how he wants to encourage immigrants like Usha. Instead he wanted to learn how to solicit underage girls like Matt Gaetz. #dontbelikejd

Veep Vance flips out that people think #HHS transparency is the same as forcing trans and nonbinary identity on children who do not consent. #dontbelikejd