I always considered Diana Ross to be the supreme leader.
28.02.2026 22:26 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I always considered Diana Ross to be the supreme leader.
28.02.2026 22:26 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0This is really fucking up the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire.
28.02.2026 22:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The second you leave this country for even a few days, you realize the place you call home is decaying at an almost exponential pace. The realization that you don't have to live like this is stark, and that nobody in power is taking tangible actions to fix it in your lifetime is even starker.
26.02.2026 17:12 — 👍 13031 🔁 3249 💬 425 📌 244Son: Is being a lawyer just saying “stupid fucker” under your breath after each phone call?
26.02.2026 20:14 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0Sore losers
26.02.2026 14:40 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0The Oscar for best movie that’s frequently on TV on a lazy, rainy day goes to… Point Break.
21.02.2026 13:59 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0The biathlon in the Winter Olympics cracks me up.
21.02.2026 01:38 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Process server named Bobby Brown: Care if I serve him at work?
Me: It’s your prerogative.
Dropped the ball on the whole intelligence thing.
06.02.2026 09:12 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Would be cool if Art Monk joined the Walk for Peace once they arrive in DC.
06.02.2026 09:08 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0She was charged with “best idea ever!”
05.02.2026 08:25 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Steal My Sunshine
04.02.2026 10:42 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Intermittently
31.01.2026 07:02 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0When my people tell me on teams “I’ll send them to voicemail,” I often think about them being sent to hell instead and I try to picture it.
27.01.2026 19:49 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I assume that’s a winter Olympic sport?
26.01.2026 14:54 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I’m thankful that Curt Schilling has zero Cy Young awards to give to Trump.
18.01.2026 15:38 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0I just learned Marion Ross is still alive. Happy days.
12.01.2026 20:39 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I totally forgot that Victor Kiriakis was on the Gilmore Girls.
11.01.2026 20:05 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Aaaaaammmmeeeennnnn
10.01.2026 19:31 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0At the airport I saw a Swiss plane and an American plane yet managed to not make a cheesy joke.
08.01.2026 13:32 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I totally get why FedEx is an ex.
04.01.2026 13:17 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0This has got to be the most over the top intervention any father has taken to get his son off coke.
03.01.2026 13:04 — 👍 12 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Portugal is the best. 🇵🇹
16.12.2025 11:23 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0It’s a Dark Side of the Moon kind of day.
12.12.2025 16:16 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 09 year old just got upset at me for saying “fuck” twice. Damn me for responding to work emails in her presence.
08.12.2025 21:05 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Opposing counsel (in very scary, threatening voice): We’ll be filing a motion to amend and a motion to compel.
Me:
My Spotify age is one month off from my actual age.
04.12.2025 09:38 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I just tried Medrohno. Whew.
02.12.2025 21:41 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Opposing counsel is named Moe and my son wants me to prank him like Bart Simpson would.
01.12.2025 16:28 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0My daughter is in Israel.
30.11.2025 16:06 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0