🧶ike

me receiving direct orders from god (he's telling me to post about old men)

personally i think it would bring about world peace if greg davies let me sit on his face and then be his big spoon!!!! sorry if this offends!!!! but we could try it just to see!!!!!!

yesss omg i loved omega mart i could have spent so long in there snooping through everything 😄

tool box for my man tools

duuuude yessss i love my tackle box 😄

if i could catch them and train them as mercenaries i would mail them to my enemies

i’ve massacred an army of fruit flies and the remainder won’t get in the damn jar of vinegar and drown to death. this is how i accidentally create fruit fly super soldiers

i cleaned my house and got sweaty, you see this is what’s wrong with the world. even worse, no one applauded me and gave me a little treat.

this is just to say
i have drank
the wingstop ranch
that was in the ice box

and which
you were probably
saving
for your wings

forgive me
it was delicious
so savory
and so creamy

god i love hotel hell (gordon ramsay in his speedo again)

blacked out at costco and bought giant pretzels

can’t believe james gunn is personally making me enjoy foxy shazam

can’t go back to mastodon i had an embarrassing crush once

Got my Ingrown Toenails Surgically Removed At Claire’s

can i lay my head on your belly and listen to your stomach go grjrbbbansnnnsnsndjjdjd

spongebob’s skinny little stick arms in oversized handcuffs

oh god i’m turning into my mother: falling asleep on the couch watching true crime

a woman in a psych ward in a straight jacket, the caption says “serving pussy serving cunt”

INDEFINITELY?

yeah pretty much

it’s crazy that a 13lb dog can just bully you into going to bed at 11:30pm

yessss so many good country protest songs, songs about unions, being working class / living in poverty, anti government songs… breaks my heart that people write off whole genres

Fuck a website, give me a gas station bathroom and a sharpie

that’s so sweet 😭 i’ve come to appreciate country more and more over the years since i got into folk punk around 2011 and branched out from there into lots of old union / resistance / hate the rich type songs and artists like patsy cline and dolly parton. if you have any recs i would love to listen!

when people think all country music is bad and problematic… ☹️

it’s my last day at the only job i’ve ever really liked 😭

she’s never done a thing wrong and if she did it was justified and is her right as the queen of my universe!!!!

my angel my love 10/10 would let her haunt my dreams

the story of managers everywhere

portland frog is back after getting “pepper sprayed in the ass”

finally some cool news

booty shorts that say "ARE YOU MAD AT ME?"