The Merciless Peppers of Quetzlzacatejimbo

Duolingo: Spanish and English, “El tercer piso está cerrado/The third floor is closed.”

Duolingo, English and Spanish. “No hay nada en el tercer piso/There isn’t anything on the third floor”

I’m becoming very suspicious of the third floor.

They’re gonna taste foul
They’re gonna taste foul
I can hear the sound of all bran hitting my bowels

Humble bird: “Oh, I don’t know about that. You’re very kind. I’m a GOOD tit, sure.”

There are a few films where you think “if the villain had succeeded maybe the world would be a better place” and I think a great example is max zorin from a view to a kill who was going to destroy silicon valley

They’re all altered screenshots from the Simpsons episode Kill the Alligator and Run. Here, Joe C is hyping for Kid Rock, but Kid Rock has the face of distinguished actor Tim Roth. Joe C says “Yo Roth! Tell spring break what your name is!”

Kid Roth/Tim Rock responds: “MY NAME IS TIIIIIIIIIIIIIM”

TIM ROTH!

It’s been a while since I’ve made a meme style image that appeals to me and only me so here, enjoy* looking at these.

*rue and lament

Imperfect, unrestored Jesus says “I think we’re gonna have to kill this guy, blurry Jesus”. Blurry Jesus responds “-screaming-“

“No, I absolutely draw the line at the musher, the new sonic weapon that turns people to mush but doesn’t kill them, just leaves them as sentient mush in a permanent state of agony. Bring me the neutron bomb instead. It’s all about restraint.”

This is what I’m getting and this is where I’m getting it from and you should all order icons from this lovely man. www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Holy...

The time has come for science to put a single penguin inside the Arctic circle and a single polar bear on Antarctica just to shut everyone up for a bit.

My mum’s dad was the first in generations not to be a coal miner; he trained to be a greengrocer, went into the navy as a stoker, and then naturally became a firefighter with a jeweller’s license

Guys guys you’re both right

Handouts to oil and gas firms while people face likely bill hikes.

Reckless and irresponsible at a time when we should be doubling down on renewables not cutting tax to fossil fuel fuel giants.

We need a plan to protect people from the coming price shock.

Ah, I was half right. He gave himself an enema to avoid the gag reflex but it wasn’t piss it was just water full of bird shit or something

Didn’t he combine both those things once?

I would kill for this man 💜

I’ve bought something a bit religious-y off Etsy and the guy is in Greece and he sent me a message telling me that it’s been dispatched and apologising for any potential delays and hoping that I’m safe and it was so lovely it made me a little bit teary.

lol “committed” I’ll probably have forgotten about this come morning

The die is cast, I have committed to saving up to buy a pair new. I cannot overstate how excited I am to be wearing ostentatious jerk clothes.

Oh excellent work

I actually erred on the size of caution with the size, I could probably get away with a size smaller if I felt like spending two nights in a hotel’s worth of money on a pair of jeans.

I HAVE FLEURS DE LIS ON MY ARSE

THEY FIT PERFECTLY. The shirt doesn’t but fuck the shirt THESE FIT

A screenshot from Skycards showing a General Atomic MQ-9 Reaper unmanned aerial vehicle flying around just north of Ruskington.

There is a reaper drone flying around in Lincolnshire BUT HA HA HA I’M SURE THAT’S FINE

Music FACT: The New Seekers actually did try to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony once, but failed because Holland was too flat.

I’ve just seen the footage of the Iranian ship being torpedoed and Jesus Christ

pan of cute biscuits decorated to look like faces

same pan baked, a horrific fucked up mass of evil

how it started/how it's going

YOU CAN FIGHT ICE BY ANNOYING THEM - MESS UP THEIR FOOD/DRINK ORDERS - LOSE THEIR TICKETS/RESERVATIONS - OVERTIGHTEN LUG NUTS, STRIP SPARK PLUGS - GIVE THEM INCORRECT BUT REAL-SOUNDING INFORMATION - RECORD THEM WITH YOUR PHONES - DISRUPT THEM WITH LOUD NOISES (CAR ALARMS, MUSIC, BANGING METAL) AND BRIGHT LIGHTS (FLASHLIGHTS, HEADLIGHTS) - SHAME THEM Fuck yeah THE FASCISTS WANT COMPLACENCY. DO NOT GIVE IT TO THEM. Fuck them White supremacist IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO MAKE «MISTAKES"

Monkey wrenching is such an under appreciated form of protest

Vanishingly rare win for Jim in that the dvla have been in touch to say they’re not taking any action against me in a case that wasn’t my fucking problem to begin with 😌

Happy birthday my excellent pal 💜

Google screenshot of an IMDb result “Turbo Kong as Enormous Prisoner”

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen I am so happy in this moment.