The title card for the satirical show Too Many Cooks, but the title has been changed to Too Many Channels

A bee climbs out of the center of a bright red rose. The texture of the rose petals makes them look like watercolor, and their vivid colors add to the painterly effects. I sometimes like times like this where reality is harder to believe than fiction. It is disorienting, especially when you zoom in and lose context. But it's nice when you are lost in a swirl of beauty, not so much when you are being tossed around in a cauldron of terrible news. So many bad things happening in the word that you can't even focus on any of them. You hear about how the worst person in the world is getting away with yet another scam, and you can't focus. We haven't even dealt with yesterday's news, and we know more is coming tomorrow. Makes you want to crawl into the middle of a rose and cover yourself in pollen.

It is currently snowing, so I'm thinking of times when it wasn't snowing.

A broad-winged hawk glides across a mostly clear blue sky. It has a dark fringe on its wings and tail, and a distinct white band across the middle of its tail. Its wings aren't particularly broad, they are kinda average for a hawk. They've been called "compact raptors with chunky bodies" but that seems pretty rude. They are apex predators that soar through the clouds and dine on whatever they feel like, seems weird to body shame them. They never drink water, they are able to survive solely on the water present in their prey. That's pretty metal and deserves more respect.

I wonder if a bird aimlessly soaring around still realizes how cool it is that it is flying

A dog runs on a beach, with its reflection showing on the wide smooth sand. A bank of fog is behind it, obscuring the rocky shore off to the right. It kinda looks like an ominous storm if you squint, blurring the lines between ocean and land, water and air. Is the dog running toward land or into a dark storm? Can it tell the difference? Or is it just sprinting in circles, alternating between chasing birds, playing with dogs, and pooping in the ocean? Yeah, it is just running on instincts here, like all of us, all the time, everywhere.

Followers continue to trickle in, welcome! My photos are probably not what you're expecting from whatever list you found me on, but I continue nonetheless.

A fox squirrel holds on to the side of a moss-covered tree trunk. Its legs held wide as it stares into the camera, it looks like it is considering its options, ready to run but standing its ground until that is needed. But is that just anthropomorphizing the thoughts running through its tiny squirrel brain? Is it just going on vibes? Running from predators, eating whatever nuts are in front of it? If we could read its mind would it just be indecipherable screaming? Or maybe it knows how handsome it is.

Fight, flight, freeze. How about all three in quick succession.

Three large koi fish swim under a rain speckled pond. What is rain to an aquatic creature? Air is that weird substance that they can’t move or breathe in. Water is ubiquitous. So is rain just holes in the air? Like reverse bubbles?

Posting just birds and cacti was so 2024. I’m thinking this year will be alternating between rainy gloom and bright blue skies. Or something else?

A mature Crested San Pedro cactus in a pot sitting amongst other potted cacti. The lower growth is branching into tight fan clusters, a mutation making this variety recognizable. But some sections have reverted to traditional columnar growth, forming a hybrid plant. As if early it its life it got weird, creating beautiful creative patterns, then as it got older it became boring, straight, more conservative, forgetting what made it interesting. Maybe it just needs to be repotted.

This Crested San Pedro cactus has gotten a bit weird, but it is trying its best.

A female ruby-throated hummingbird lands on the lip of a bright red feeder. One foot holds on as the other is close. The weight of the bird is off the edge, a split second before landing. Or is it falling, its little wings flailing as it tumbles backwards? A belly full of sugar water, too heavy to fly. If it had vocal cords, it might be making a, “wuh wuh wuh!” Before it goes “waaaa” down to the ground.

Landing gear deployed

A single stubby stalk of Mammillaria cactus growing out of a pile of rocks. What neat spirals of thorns, a dense thumb of life where there used to be just stone. It’s a life form creating order and beauty, pulling the universe that much further from entropy. But to the stone, what a mess! In constant need of sun and water. It’ll be dead and gone in the blink of time. The stone has the order, lava cooled crystaline. What relative permanence! The minerals in neat little rows, if you zoom in enough.

Look at this little weirdo growing order out of chaos.

A red-billed hornbill sits on a branch at a steep angle, as if to get a better view of what’s below. The name “red-billed hornbill” seems redundant, or at least focuses too much on just one aspect of them. What about their long tail feathers? Or their spotted wings? Or their inquisitive yet cautious personality? You get one brightly colored body part and that’s all anyone wants to talk about.

Hornbills are known for their jaunty angles.

A single stalk of a Joshua Tree against a bright blue sky. Also known as a yucca palm or “hunuvat chiy'a" or "humwichawa" by the indigenous Cahuilla. They seem so anachronistic, tree-like things where there are no others. Especially so when they are young and small and haven’t branched yet, as they seem like such old things. And then they are often called Joshua Trees, a ridiculous name given by Mormon settlers, arriving to this ancient land and declaring them as new and theirs.

A yucca that hasn’t treed.

A turkey vulture soars through a blue sky, with the sun backlighting its wings and highlighting its splayed feathers. The name "vulture" is derived from the Latin word vulturus, meaning "tearer", and is a reference to how it eats dead things. It lacks vocal organs, so all it can do is grunt and hiss. Circling overhead makes you wonder, "Why is it looking at me? Do I look like roadkill?" At night while walking in the dark woods, dozens of buzzards make a terrifying whoosh as they relocate to a new tree. No caws or chirps, just a heavy commotion and then silence as they watch from the shadows. But I am too big to be prey, and too alive to be torn.

Buzzards have permanent jazz hands but the least jazz-handy personalities.

A tall Old Man cactus stands in the middle of a rocky cactus garden. It is covered in wispy white hairs, which are actually just modified spines. The top is capped with such a thick, unruly mass of it that you can’t even see the spines below. The hairs protect the cactus from the harsh sun, but does there have to be so much? Hairs growing from places that didn’t used to have hair. Like your ear, why does a hair need to grow out of there?

This Old Man cactus is such an old man cactus that it smelled like baby powder and pulled a quarter from behind my ear.

A Steller's jay takes flight off of a picnic table with a small piece of a Doritos chip in its beak. Steller's are the official provincial bird of British Columbia, where Doritos also come in Intense Pickle flavor. So while Nacho Cheese Doritos might be high in fat and sodium and terrible for birds to eat, jays are probably used to worse.

I regret letting this jay eat a piece of Doritos, but only a little bit.

A group of barrel cacti packed close together. They tend to lean south toward the sun, earning the name “compass cactus.” They have such dense spines they almost look fuzzy and soft. And tucked under a tree, they look like a nice place to lay down for a nap in the shade. But then your trail partner Earl yells from his horse, “Frank, drink some dang water, you’re hallucinating again.“ But it is loo late Earl, the call of the lumpy desert sofa is too strong. Just a 5-minute siesta, that’s all I need.

the Forbidden Sofa

A blue-bellied roller sits on a rock in captivity. Living up to its name, it has a vivid blue belly and tail, and a chalky white head. Its short strong beak looks made for crunching insects, and a streak of dark eye shadow makes it look angry that it doesn’t currently have any grasshoppers to use it on.

This blue-bellied roller regrets having eaten so many grasshoppers yesterday. Or maybe that’s just me.

A prickly pear cactus with several branches grows out of a snow-filled pot. There is snow on the ground but the sky is clear and blue. This is rare for Oregon winters, which tend to be cloudy and wet and not conducive to thriving outdoor cacti. I think that’s why I like this photo, because it shows this cactus on what must have felt like a special day, even if the rest of the winter sucks.

This prickly pear came with the house, and is still just as out of place as the day we moved in.

A tiny round American kestrel, perched on bright green astroturf in a manmade enclosure. This bird was rescued as a chick, possibly after its egg had gotten too warm and it came out half-baked. It is staring into the camera, peering deep into our soul wondering, “How did I get here?”, “How am I so smol?”, “Why are you not feeding me?”

The rare UwU kestrel.

Four tall green Mexican fencepost cacti stand in front of a white cinderblock wall and a bright blue cloudless sky. The grout lines of the cinderblocks point to a weirdly distant vanishing point, as if the photographer was a beginner art student who overestimated the width of their paper. Unless the assignment was abstract color blocking, in which case, good job.

Is it too early in the rainy season to already be wishing for this blue sky?

Wait does that outfit say SimplyDog? Cold blooded.

A female Anna's hummingbird drinking from a bright red Cape honeysuckle. Anna's were named by the French naturalist René Lesson, who named it after some other naturalist's wife (weird). He also famously mistranslated a German report on New Zealand and claimed they used a number system based on eleven. Undeterred after having his error pointed out, Lesson spent years deliberately embellishing and attempting to establish his version of reality. But despite being a proven liar and racist weirdo, thankfully Anna's hummingbirds are actually real.

Seems a bit selfish for Anna to claim so many birds for herself.

The spiky end of an octopus cactus. It has a green stalk with purple-tinged ribs covered in clusters of white thorns. Its Latin name is Stenocereus alamosensis, named after the Sonoran town of Álamos, and because octopi have incredible long-term memory.

Is the plural of octopus cactus octopi cacti?

A male red-bellied woodpecker perched on the edge of a hanging birdfeeder with a sunflower seed clamped in its beak. Despite the name, the top of its head is bright orangeish-red, and its belly is dusty white. It probably hates the confusion but lacks the language skills to let us know.

A ceramic plate full of seed is probably kinda mind blowing for a woodpecker.

A tall teddy-bear cholla cactus against the blue sky in the Cholla Cactus Garden in Joshua Tree National Park. Do not brush against the cactus. Keep children close at all times. No pets.

The teddy-bear cholla just wants cuddle.

A male Northern Cardinal perched on a branch.

The top of a cactus of the Cephalocereus senilis species, also known as the old man cactus, with thick hair all over and a wispy clump on top.

👋Hi new followers! I haven’t decided how I’m gonna use this account yet, but I’m currently leaning toward only posting photos of birds and cacti.

A cattle dog laying on her back in front of a painted portrait of her laying on her back.

Life imitating art

Our dog Blue looking guilty

Blue was born side-eyeing