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When we all get flying cars, songs about driving are gonna seem so dated. Like rapping about VCRs or some shit.

My kid and her friend are going as Brokeback Mountain this year.

And veginal knowledge is when you know exactly how they like their salad tossed.

"Work Before Play" Essential T-Shirt for Sale by manx There is a time in every young man's life when his high score will fall victim to house chores. • Millions of unique designs by independent artists. Find your thing.

And also my design from the famous Cracked Photoplasy "Mothers of Famous Fictional Characters". An allegory for all children bothered by chores, which was sadly not used in promotion materials for 2014's Godzilla.

www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/Wo...

Where do you want me to send it to? Space?
@coolzonemedia.bsky.social
@iwriteok.bsky.social
@whysophiewhy.bsky.social

Me waking up and realizing all the shit I put off at work last week but then remembering it’s #BIGFEETS Monday @1900hotdog.bsky.social

Little man let out a big yawn and passed out on my arm.

Every day is a new spider needing rescued out of the shower.

Can you imagine how stinky his suit is by the end of the movie.

Bernard must be stopped @iwriteok.bsky.social

Yes. We're getting it swapped out on Sat. Either that or I pipe robot porn music into the half-bath.

My new washing machine sounds like robots fucking.

Legally changing my name to Spam Risk so no one ever accepts my calls.

I want trouble.

I know my stuff. I'm something else.

They muppetfied my boys!

Uhhhhh

Funny Bad Graphic Design: Shrinkage

I know my account is devolving into a Robocop shoots everyone in the dick, but I'm hella excited about getting the sequel in 3 years when it goes on sale for $10.

My kid is into Devil May Cry and they’re rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ dad rock.

Remember, when you kill a mosquito you’re killing a single mother.

Never thought I'd have to shoot myself in the dick.

This cyborg is a menace to all wangs.

My kid is pretending to be a divorce lawyer to their two friends at IKEA

Robocop is still shooting everyone in the dick.

The gift of father's day is wearing sweatpants all day.

Today's the day.

I used to be a graphic designer so off-putting merch layouts are an interest of mine. This one tells me there’s a crime about to happen on that mattress.

Some of y’all can’t handle 2 high agency males going at it and it really shows

Big "Bring me the child" energy in that photo.