dr. elliot reid

Like what am I supposed to do when I don't have anyone's marriage to ruin and eating a spicy chip could send me to the hospital. Is this adulthood

See the thing about sending my enemies to therapy

Please help i am bored in the midwest on a Saturday night and all the fun ideas I have would either give me heartburn or send my enemies to therapy and I don't think I could deal with the guilt of that

Yeah man, everyone at the airport really needs to listen to you on your hour-long work call

Why do I feel like Adam Sandler is kinda good in the sack

Even as a kid I had stuff I was constantly cycling through and agonizing over. This sudden stillness reminds me of when I first took the antidepressants and couldn't hear my heart pounding in my ears 24/7 anymore. It was just so quiet.

This is the first breakup I've had where my head has gone almost totally quiet afterwards. I think it's a combo of treating OCD with antidepressants for ~9 months and getting out of a stressful relationship.

I genuinely don't know the last time my mind was this empty. Maybe in the womb??

If you're wondering what a gut feeling looks like, sometimes it shows up as the most intense heartburn you've felt in your life because you just choose to keep living in denial for some reason (I want to die,)

An AU where Jesus bonks his head during his baptism in the Jordan and forgets who he is when he resurfaces

If this offends you, you're not the target audience. And go tattle to your mom or something idk

Little girls at age 7: *creating stories with their dolls where they're orphans running around the streets begging for food and everyone they care about dies:

35-year-old men: Mommy? 🥺 Mommy wake up 🥺😭😭😭😭😭

Men in their 30s (bonus points if their mom just died): oh my GOD this is all there is!!! I'm gonna die married to a woman I HATE!! I need to FUCK someone

Me at age 6: if I can't remember what it was like before I was born, it stands to reason I won't be around to see what happens after I die.

It is kinda funny how many years later AMAB experience canonical life events than AFAB

Me reading any diary entries from my 22-year-old self:

GOOD LORD it is an INSANE relief to be friends w/ my exes & encourage them to pursue their dreams w/o the whole fight-or-flight anxiety about how it affects me

"Uh where do *I* factor into all this? Why didn't you consider MY feelings? No you can't get a PhD, we're getting married!" SHUTTHEFUCKUP

Every time I'm convinced I'm not actually into men... I watch Daredevil and realize I am wrong

Still of the Punisher from Daredevil season 2. He's in a white prison uniform and has numerous bruises on his face. His hair has grown out a bit at the top, making him extra adorable.

Look how pretty this man is

Hot

I need Matt and Frank to kiss

a cartoon of squidward from spongebob squarepants says oh no he 's hot Alt: Meme of distressed Squidward saying, "Oh no he's hot"

When the Punisher shows up in Daredevil for the first time

I like Drew, Denise, and some of the other new characters. Don't like the returning characters rehashing the story arcs we've already seen them go through.

I don't wanna keep watching this

So, how bad could Scrubs season 9 really be?

Yeah, they're not doing shit LMFAO

my favorite self-care ritual is repeating “I am not evil” in the mirror 100 times every morning and night

Combination smirk + devil grinning emoji

OF WHAT

You ever wonder what would happen if you gave a Victorian child a Taki?