Barb on the island

I want to see the Hallmark Christmas movie where the girl leaves big city job to return to her small hometown, reunites with her old flame, and realizes why they broke up in the first place. Then tells him what a jerk he has always been, and returns to the city to live happily ever after

The number of horse’s asses in this world far exceeds the number of actual horses.

Hide the ketchup!!

I finally turned the a/c on yesterday. It was 90 degrees.

A haiku

Doge said to save costs
Let’s kill the weather service
What could go wrong here?

Speaker Mike Johnson is the guy who ate the paste in first grade, and then never stopped

“Fucking asshole fucker” is not a strong enough phrase to describe my feelings for that man. But it’s a start.

Someone just referred to Stephen Miller as Pee Wee German and he will forever be known as such to me

For someone who reportedly doesn’t drink, Trump sure has a thing for appointing drunks to high positions! #Trump

Except he would do that ridiculous thumbs up instead of his finger

So I guess tonight we find out if God likes Florida rednecks or Texas rednecks the most. #MarchMadness #NCAA #FinalFour

Can someone please explain to me why the obsession with Greenland? I know Putin reportedly desires a base of some kind there, but I just don’t get it.

Where do these funds go??

Well, there is plenty of room for the lot of them

Where? When? How much popcorn 🍿 is required?

Literally any British actress would have been a better choice for the role of Bridget Jones. I said what I said.

The dive in Trump’s approval ratings was ugly. He showed no form, had no height, belly flopped, and didn’t point his toes. However, I give it a 9.5. Well done.

Well, I see he brought his real “wife” to the Super Bowl. She probably came cheaper than Malaria.

Is there an exclamation stronger than What the Actual Fuck? Asking for a Nation.

You know how a petulant teenager does something to piss off their best friend, and they never speak again? Yeah. We’re at that stage.

For the love of all things holy, why is Elon Musk running this country??

I can’t be the only one thinking SNL sucks tonight.

So I am nearly out of eggs. Do I buy now, or do I hold off until January 21st, when they return to $1.50 a dozen?

#groceryprices

You can’t put your hand over something that you don’t have

I don’t think that Jimmy Carter was the best President in my lifetime. However, I do think he was the best man who was President in my lifetime.

#RIP #JimmyCarter

I have found my super power. It is making dirty dishes. My sink is full, my dishwasher is running. #cooking #holidays

Am I the only one who just isn’t feeling in the Christmas spirit this year? I feel like I am only going through the motions here. And I love Christmas!
Just not this year. 🌲

Can a country reject the ambassador? Asking for a φίλος

Is there any country Trump is not going to piss off? #tRump

They still make music videos?