Jay Charles

Dude only had 2 Gordie Howe Hat Tricks in his career

Only one way this ends

At first, I wondered if Warren Zevon would've opposed this, as it could be seen as cheapening the value of every sandwich. On balance, I think he would have wanted this, though he would have sternly cautioned us not to take this beautiful gift for granted.

Underrated part of this: band kids/cheerleaders who go to Ohio State, Bama, UGA... they know they may end up in a championship game.

The junior/seniors in the IU band or cheerleading squad... can't imagine they ever thought they'd be on national TV, let alone a championship broadcast

Miami commits personal foul. Ref reaches for the flag, but out of the eye sees Cignetti's piercing gaze. A message appears in his head, clear as day, as if it were written on the inside of his eyelids:

"Don't call it. We don't need it."

Slowly, the ref puts his hand in his pocket.

"Do the opposite of Clay Travis" is very, very good life advice

Kennesaw State 19, Jacksonville State 15

Math checks out

"Please, Curt, be merciful!"

"... this *is* mercy."

Indiana will make your Jared Leto movie watching decision easy for you by scoring a morbillion points.

So, now we know Indiana *can* score a point every 5 yards if they want.

We therefore must conclude that it is only by the magnanimous grace of Curt Cignetti that the Hoosiers - who get 468 yards per game - didn't average 93.6 ppg.

They could have if they wanted to.

The teams can agree to a running clock for the 2nd half, right?

2025 Indiana is to 2025 Oregon as 2022 Georgia is to 2022 TCU

That is an insane analogy that is 100% true

Oregon two-step game plan:

1. Who came closest to beating Indiana?

2. What would Penn State do in this situation?

Proposal: Whoever wins each conference must fly to the Super Bowl directly from the #1 seed's local airport, regardless of when the #1 seed lost

She has no mouth and she must scream

FOTR: When Bilbo disappears, off-screen ADR goes "fuuuuuck"

TTT: When Gandalf the White reveals himself, Legolas quietly whispers "... fuck"

ROTK:

Eowyn: "I AM NO MAN"
Witch King: "fuck"

This quality is why One Battle After Another went so hard

I'll start the bidding with the entire cast of RuPaul's Drag Race, Ryan Lochte, and Orrin Hatch

Should have gone with "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia

"Well, the QB's got one shoe on his plant foot and they gave the other one to the left tackle - but every now and then they try to catch the defense shoegazing and run it up the gut from this look."

"Real savvy move to give the left shoe to the DT. Free Safety has right, of course."

"Of course!"

Patrick Mahomes has played in every Super Bowl

*except 5

Their brain got smart but their head got dumb

Never forget the first Orange Bowl: Bucknell 26, Miami 0

"The defender did utilize a knife; however, the ball was tipped at the line, and therefore there is no penalty for stabbing."