Thank you! I used to do this over on Twitter, but kind of lost steam when the wheels fell off
10.02.2026 15:10 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Thank you! I used to do this over on Twitter, but kind of lost steam when the wheels fell off
10.02.2026 15:10 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Hi Barbara? Yeah I just saw the posters you put up and no, I have not seen your cat but I'd love to. Is now a good time to come take a look?
10.02.2026 14:46 — 👍 134 🔁 29 💬 2 📌 0
Me: If I give you another piece of fruit, do you promise not to throw it?
Chuck Berry: Maaaaybe
the world is an umpire
10.01.2026 15:48 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0a reading from Paul's first letter to Penthouse Forum
10.12.2025 17:30 — 👍 26 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0[misfortune cookie] that wasn't pork
31.10.2025 13:01 — 👍 8 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0everyone assumes my shirts are always covered in dandruff and that's fine I just let them because it's actually parmesan
21.10.2025 15:44 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
the clash: should I stay or should I go now?
me: what'll happen if you go?
the clash: there will be trouble
me: and what'll happen if you stay?
the clash: it will be double
me: well I'm no genius but the answer seems pretty obvious to me
We are all God's children. Except for you, Jeff. You were adopted.
05.10.2025 18:41 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Goofing off in high school?
30.09.2025 12:33 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 1I would not trust the first person who called them "sneakers". What are you up to in those things?
25.09.2025 15:19 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
judge: your record shows you're a repeat offender
me: a what?
judge: repeat offender
me: offender haha