@ndmckeown.bsky.social
Scottish DevOps engineer who can hold a conversation, knit, and salsa dance! Apparently looks like two other men with beards.
02.09.2025 06:54 — 👍 4358 🔁 814 💬 101 📌 48
Me: *Looking at my feed right now*
So...football and such? Am I right?
One of my silly friends reckons I should buy a thesaurus. What a silly idea! Why would I want a silly thesaurus?
09.02.2025 17:55 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0If Lucifer ever asks you to help him pickle cucumbers, just say no!
You should never make a dill with the devil.
As I’ve said before, if you’re only interested in taking down trans people, you’re not a champion of women’s rights, you’re a bigoted piece of shit.
08.02.2025 09:44 — 👍 85 🔁 19 💬 5 📌 0Personally I like to keep my friends closer than my enemies. Human shields and all that...
08.02.2025 17:19 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If there's a fire at a spa, staff are instructed to leave calmly via the fire exits and leave all non-essential oils.
08.02.2025 17:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Who called it camping and not "loitering within tent"?
29.01.2025 12:08 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Haha! Love it!
26.01.2025 20:34 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Do you think this place is secretly vegan?
26.01.2025 14:12 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0*parachutes to roof*
*abseils to balcony*
*picks door lock*
*inserts USB drive*
*starts computer*
"Windows is installing update 1 of 43..."
One of the highlights of my weekends is when my boy comes through to our room early and wakes me up so we can watch cartoons together before my wife gets up.
I'll be sad when he grows out of it. The long lies will be nice though...
The remains of our shed scattered across the garden.
Alas, poor shed. We hardly knew ye.
25.01.2025 11:32 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I keep thinking that I'm not funny anymore. That I can never think of new jokes.
It's not strictly true though. I'm constantly making jokes for my son whenever he says something
Can I remember them when I come on social media?
If you'll pardon my French, can I fuck.
Hello! I am on threads. Look for @nates_knits
24.01.2025 22:36 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0This was pretty popular when I put it on Facebook. I guess I need more Scottish people on here!
24.01.2025 20:21 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Me. Holding a glass of Port.
No, YOU'RE about to make an "any Port in a storm" joke!
24.01.2025 18:48 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I dropped a submachine gun in a bowl of custard. It's a little oozy.
24.01.2025 15:17 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0I've missed this!
24.01.2025 11:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0It's slowed a bit recently but I'm hoping to get back to it this year!
23.01.2025 22:22 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
A portable toilet in the colours of an irn-bru bottle
The secret ingredient A.G Bar don't want you to know about!
23.01.2025 19:43 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I'm so glad to hear that! X
23.01.2025 19:36 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I have a friend with a horse fetish. I'm going to see him in a bit.
23.01.2025 19:15 — 👍 5 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0Hello, lovely people! All's well with me thanks (well, except for the things that aren't 😉). Hope life is treating you well!
23.01.2025 19:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0Hiya! How's life?
23.01.2025 19:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
