Big Fat Bartolo's Colon

"we may have lost custody of our kids, but we are winning against Iranian civilians. Who's a little boy dressed in his father's clothes now, Shiela?!?!?"

aha, but most of the people betting big money on these things work at the White House

im starting to think my process of checking books out from the library and returning them unread isn't making me any smarter

time to share the story of The Cat That Told Me To Always Listen to My Father

wait u skipped over the incredible amount of self-improvement he must have done btwn 2019 and 2026 to have such a powerful job

Hegseth definitely yelled "fire ze missiles!" like a fucking asshole

"I watch Family Guy and American Dad like everyone else" is it nice living in 2006?

will alexa promise to come to my soccer game and then not show up???

don't worry, the commercial points that out as well

we've reached "Hitler giving his generals conflicting priorities at Stalingrad"

the best way to secure your retirement is to die now

as AI ingests more and more content, we are close to the glorious day when computer says the answer to every math problem is 6 7

from Outkast's hit "Hey Ya('ll)"

hey everyone who likes good music should subscribe to this, it's a great resource for pretending to have taste

who is the first person in the administration to point out that the fastest way to manufacture consent in the US is for thousands of Israeli civilians to be killed in a strike and why is that person Stephen Miller?

is this Buck and Otto's department?

oh if any of them share the news of how we can stop this, pls let us know 🙏

that's millenial excellence

heist?

we plan a heist queen??

a map of Vietnam that I've added to this post for no particular reason

So we could just provide training and equipment without commiting ground forces? well this sounds like a great idea and I can't forsee it going wrong in any way

I believe they think of themselves as divine instruments for the Lord

oh, well then I have great news for you re our govt plan for your voting rights

regime change in the owners box

now u gotta slap him at the Oscar's

a man in a pink and white dress with a tiara on his head is sitting in a chair . ALT: a man in a pink and white dress with a tiara on his head is sitting in a chair .

Meet me in the Frillyverse

update: I decided to just be mean

show me in the rulebook where it says improv should be funny???

it's not clear how much carpentry he was actually doing

"angry white men got us into this mess, maybe angry white men will get us out" he said stupidly