A Series of Unlikely Explanations

Judge in a kid's movie: "Well, nothing in the Consititution says that a dog *can't* vote..."

I just heard the words "Spring Black Friday" on a commercial andi have lived too long and seen to much

The Hobbits leave the Shire in September. They get a little break around Yule. The most difficult part of the quest is January through the end of March when Sauron is defeated. The Lord of the Rings is about teachers trying to last until Spring Break.

Heavy is the head that wears the Burger King Kids Club Crown

I'd like to announce that I'm pivoting to media criticism. Here is my critique of the media. It sucks ass. Having registered this critique I'm now pivoting back to songs about the true nature of prophecy & books where there was maybe a ghost but you're not entirely sure

Cyberpunk 2077 is great because it understands that cyberpunk, the genre, is at its best peering into the central human mysteries, like what if Osama bin Laden had been Joe Strummer?

Playing on his phone while Lindsey Graham desperately wants his attention. Putting up red velvet ropes so people who paid $200,000 to have access to him can't get near.

Donald really has quite a knack for showing people he doesn't give a shit about them.

So much of America now is just gambling, but we put the guy who can't run a profitable casino in charge.

If i were president i would issue an executive order stating that everyone had to love each other and listen to CDs and then I'd push through universal healthcare

Hooters in Talks to Prepare a Bankruptcy Filing in Coming Months Hooters of America is working with creditors on a plan to restructure the business through bankruptcy court in the coming months, according to people with knowledge of the arrangements.

Buying Hooters to turn it into the world's first pay-what-you-can food pantry with virulently sexual undertones.

DNC Aiming To Reconnect With Working-Class Americans With New ‘Hamilton’-Inspired Lena Dunham Web Series WASHINGTON—Saying the new effort would help them make critical inroads with low-income rural voters following a stunning election loss last week, the Democratic National Committee announced the launch...

DNC Aiming To Reconnect With Working-Class Americans With New ‘Hamilton’-Inspired Lena Dunham Web Series

Get in the Kennedy, Shinji. Or else Worm will have to do it again.

NOSFERATU FLOW

Herman Melville's "Moby Dick" has perhaps the most memorable opening line in all of Western literature: "I hope you motherfuckers like reading about whales"

My son is afraid a hummingbird might rip through his body at 9000mph. Can any professionals on here tell him he is stupid and full of shit

"Armored Tesla" forecast to win $400 million State Department contract after Trump's election, government document shows The State Department’s procurement forecast, revised as of late December 2024, lists Tesla as the recipient of the largest expected contract, with Marco Rubio’s department planning to buy $400,000,000...

Pillaging Medicaid to pay for armored Teslas.

Kendrick's Superbowl halftime show was like the Large Hadron Collider for being a hater. we have discovered entirely new forms of hate thanks to his trailblazing work.

More of this, America.

“Why don’t they play popular music at the Super Bowl anymore.”

— Man who thinks 1996 was 10 years ago.

What's the "Super Bowl"? Oh, you mean Kendrick's pre-show? No, I didn't watch that.

funniest highlights of the philly police scanner, a thread

I didn't watch but it is my understanding that Drake lost the Super Bowl

From the peak of Denali, to the Gulf of Mexico: this land was made for you and me!

the best thing about having dealt with addiction in the past is i have no illusions about social media: it is a drug. we are all addicted. the people who deny this are rationalizing the way people with addictions do that. no shame, but that's what all this is.

YouTube video by DJ Danarchy Knowledge Fight Episode #1000 Intro Theme by DJ Danarchy

Here's the ridiculous intro from @knowledgefight.bsky.social episode 1000
youtu.be/aEdtFVFL_ss?...