Sherri Larsen

Elvira wearing Groucho Marx disguise glasses in her face and on her cleavage

What do you bring to the table in a relationship?
Me:

Everyone’s timeline soon: “My baby is headed back to school!” Image of a Gremlin carrying books and holding a Gizmo lunchbox

Soon…

Comment: “Imagine that’s how you find out your spouse listens to Coldplay”

Comment winner for today’s “dish du jour” 😅

So Jeff Lynne is seriously ill and had to cancel what was supposed to be ELO’s final show ever at the last minute. Today his fans decided to gather at Hyde Park anyway and are currently singing the entire concert themselves in his honor 💜

Live your life in such a way that your heirs will sort through your belongings whispering "What the... What even is this? Why?? What is going on?!"

Something to consider this Mother’s Day 💜

a post from Monica Lewinsky: “Like Monica from Friends?” “Yes. Yes exactly.”

😂

Dire-doodle puppies coming soon

😂

22701 (FEMALE) BERTHA BORONDA. AGE. 31 MAYHEM 5 YRS SANTA CLARA NAT. MiNN. FEB. 29th 08

“Mayhem”

Please, please please do not encourage hoarding. It’s this kind of shit that made people run out and buy 17,000 bottles of antibacterial soap only to screw somebody else over and then the people who really needed stuff couldn’t get it and they certainly couldn’t afford it on the off market.

“Normalize not bringing up a relatable story about yourself when someone is telling you something about themselves, and just listen.”

How about normalize not thinking that I’m competing with you, when I truly think I’m relating to you. It’s just a neurodivergent thing, not a narcissistic thing 🙃

A screenshot of a Twitter exchange between Elon Musk and Ashley St. Clair. Elon Musk's tweet states that he does not know if a child is his but has given Ashley $2.5 million and continues to send $500,000 per year. Ashley St. Clair replies, criticizing Musk for refusing a paternity test, stating that the money was for the child, not her, and accusing him of withdrawing support as a form of control. She also calls out Musk for using his social media platform to spread negative messages about her and their child. She concludes by calling him a "petulant man-child" and telling him to grow up.

This man has access to your social security and IRS records.

Map of largest employers by state

Whatsa matter with you, North Carolina? You think you’re smarter than us or something?

"I like to imagine my outie’s love made with a MILF or two, which is obviously bad ass, but I do pity the husbands"

iDylan flipped his own script! #Severance

Cookie Monster has forward facing eyes mounted high upon his head. This suggests Cookie Monster is a submerged, ambush predator. Just something to consider.

I'm at the natural history museum and I'm OBSESSED with this fucking thing

These posts showed up in my feed from different sources, one right after the other 😂😂

I miss when websites weren’t all the same and everything wasn’t monetized and everyone had their own little blog and search engines weren’t full of slop and the internet was fun

This may also be why Lumon serves eggs and melons, which are soft, low acidic foods.

Folks have been confused about Jame Eagan’s choice to watch Helena eat while he sipped tea and whined. Perhaps “weak enamel” is an Eagan trait and by the time they are his age, their teeth are crumbling. And perhaps this condition is due to the inbreeding that was mentioned about Kier’s parentage.

Anyone else feel like their iPhone’s keyboard has been possessed in the last few months? More unwanted autocorrects, while obvious typos are ignored, and neighboring keys selected that weren’t even pressed 🤬 Well, apparently, this fixes it: Settings, General, Dictionary - turn off Apple Dictionary

Egg Companies Assure Customers Dozen Has Always Meant 9 JACKSON, MS—Seeking to assuage consumer concerns about dwindling supplies, the nation’s egg companies reportedly assured shoppers this week that a dozen has always meant nine. “While we have seen some...

Egg Companies Assure Customers Dozen Has Always Meant 9 theonion.com/egg-companie...

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

What hold music plays in the abyss? Is it worse than saxophone solos?

What if an innocent person is executed? The death penalty is absolute caveman nonsense and does nothing for anyone. It does not bring back the dead. HOW’S THAT FOR A HORROR STORY STEVE

I'm just a Wes Anderson character iving in a Quentin Tarantino world

I’m probably more of a Charlie Kaufman character living in a David Cronenberg world, but this is close enough

Trump has named March Irish-American Heritage Month. "They're a great people. And they voted for me in heavy numbers so l like them even more. You have to like them. You know, you're not supposed to but you have to like them.”

jfc 🤦🏻‍♀️

How is it already March? And how is it only March?

Screen shot from Severence season 2, episode 7 showing Gemma and her nurse standing in front of two eye charts: one normal letters, one tumbling goats

This Severance goat eye chart (right) makes me laugh. I know it’s in the same style as real “Tumbling E” eye charts, but why? Are they testing goat vision with it? 😂

Not all men. Gomez Addams would never.

Title: Let’s talk about botched wiener implants by Futurism (shown: Elon Musk leaning against a car, pre-chin surgery and hair implants)

Supervillain origin story

My search history tonight: Where does one get an emotional support raven?

Lumon Industries / Business Cards Use the Business Card Requisition Form to obtain your new business card.

Make your Lumon card here: lumon.industries/intranet/sup...

Lumon business card for Sherri Larsen, Yoga Instructor in Mammalians Nurturable. Favorite Principle: Wit

Don’t business card for the job you have; business card for the job you want to have