Semi-Verbal Autistic 🌈

have you ever noticed than when an autistic person says something it's often treated as hysterical - but when an allistic neurotypical person says the same exact thing, it's seen as insightful?

today I ate a whole jar of pickled cabbage because I was fighting the sensory hunger all day

The "National" "Health" "Service".

*Isn't available nationally.
*Doesn't care about your health.
*Doesn't want to serve you.

#NHScrisis

On International Women's Day I am thinking about my list of prematurely dead Autistic women and girls that is now 25 years long.

And the list grows every year.

#ActuallyAutistic

An image of Cathy Wassell, CEO of Autistic Girls Network and The haven. Overlaid text reads - “You cannot talk about empowering women if autistic girls are still being overlooked.”

This International Women’s Day, we celebrate autistic girls and women. We celebrate their voices, their identity, and a future where autistic girls and women are recognised, supported and empowered. 

#IWD2026

I'm tired of living in my bedroom, waiting for death, because I'm the most pointless Autistic on the planet.

I just want a proper process.

How can I be so invisible and irrelevant to the human species that I can't even have what other people have?

I have no healthcare.
I am tired of not having healthcare.

The bourgeois have someone to talk to about their autism, someone to identify and understand their autism.

I have no expert. Where is my expert?

The NHS promised me healthcare but then gave me an incompetent Nazi that doesn't believe Autistic adults exist.

I am tired of being marginalized. I have no patience remaining.

The NHS owes me neuroaffirmative healthcare for my Autism.

The NHS ruined my teens and left me with no meaningful or safe adulthood.

And on principle, the NHS owes me healthcare because it's a healthcare service and I fecking need healthcare!

Every day I wake up with suicidal ennui. I have nothing to achieve on this planet. I want euthanasia for autism.

The fact that the NHS has no autism experts is devastating.

The fact that there is no remaining life pathway forward is devastating.

The fact that I am pointless and helpless is devastating.

#autism #ActuallyAutistic

SICK PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO FIGHT TO ACCESS HEALTHCARE It’s wild how much healthcare depends on the sickest people being the most organized, articulate, relentless version of themselves. As if fatigue comes with a project manager. You’re expected to track every symptom, summarize years of history on command, and politely push back when someone shrugs and says everything looks “normal.” Meanwhile your brain can barely remember your own name or address. Accessing healthcare shouldn’t be rewarded only to people who are well enough to fight for it. The people with the least energy and the least brain power are asked to fight the hardest. It's a broken system. mybodyistryingtokillme.com

I still haven't seen an expert for the disability that destroyed my teenage years.

I still haven't seen an expert for the disability that destroyed my adulthood.

Where is my process?

I still haven't been given an expert.

I've been alive 29 years and I still haven't seen an expert for my L2 semi-verbal autism.

I still haven't been given the minimum that is my human right. Why am I the only Autistic without a proper process?

I simply cannot value a world that is worthless to me. I don't care about perpetuating allism. I care about Autistic values. But they refuse to collaborate and mirror me.

So this world is redundant to me. I have nowhere to be and nothing to do.

"Center your life around your values!"

My values are justice and competence. Unfortunately I live in an allistic society, which means these values will never be met.

This is the incurable spiritual desolation and despair I have to suffer.

#autism #ActuallyAutistic

There is no meaning to Autistic life.

I am outside of society forever. I have no reason to exist. I don't belong on Earth. I'm not welcome here. I will never get the ritualistic process I deserve. There is no hope.

#autism

My process was ruined by fascist gaslighting.

#autism #ActuallyAutistic

Colonizers are not experts on the people they colonize.

Allistics are violent psychopathic creatures with no intent of ever liberating me. The autism industry was built to persecute, not help!

#autphobia

Neuro-fascism was passionate about forcing me into school and the resulting suicidal burnout,

but neuro-fascism lacks the passion to diagnose, understand, empathize, include and accommodate me.

They didn't actually care about my future. They didn't see me as a person.

#autism

The NHS causes systemic ruination of Autistic lives.

#autism

fun fact: the NHS is the main institutional killer of Autistic girls

A good start to suicide prevention would be for the NHS adult autism team to not spend 9 months bullying their patient to a suicidal mental breakdown instead of giving her a proper autism diagnosis.

Just a suggestion.

My oldest grudge is old enough to vote.

#autism #ActuallyAutistic

Autistic burnout is not an attitude problem. It is literally synaptic burnout from thinking too hard for too long. Being cognitively exhausted is not a choice.

#autism

Neurocolonized Autistics are bad for my mental health.

Neurocolonized Autistics have turned me into a misanthrope (alongside the allistic mass society that has turned me into a misanthrope).

Autphobia is evil.

Autistic girls are on the "front lines" of the battle against the Autism industry because we are a threat to the profitable Autism stereotype.

Heterogeneity is a threat to systemic Autphobia.

#autism #ableism

Why is "reading between the lines" the default?

I find it alienating. I provide the lines, please just read them. The constant search for "hidden" meaning makes me want to go silent. #actuallyautistic