Joe Kassabian

Congrats on inventing insider trading war crimes, America

I can't believe the first man to be awarded the FIFA Peace Prize would do this (again)

This is just called being lower enlisted on any given friday

I'll take 3

That's the fun part. American style politics come for us all no matter where we go

Anyone who is still buying this shit about Iran's nuclear program has the brain of a dog.

I love hockey. It's a religion in my family.

Hockey players (myself included) are dumb as hell.

It isn't surprising that Bill Guerin, a guy who once covered up a sexual assault, also really likes Kash Patel.

But I did mean red wings management telling him to take shit down because it was going to cause problems for the team.

Judging from his other choices over the years that is incredibly unsurprising

I wouldn't be surprised if the coach or GM of the wings told him to take it down since they've always made sure to be aggressively apolitical and keep the players from saying anything stupid

Sucks real bad!

It's true

And of course the guy leading the charge (via non stop Instagram stories) is the captain of the red wings and a hometown guy.

I remember how happy I was when a guy from Michigan was named captain of the team

I'm just constantly putting up Ls here.

There is nothing worse than recording a podcast talking about hockey *before* the US won because

1) I said they probably weren't going to medal at all.

And

2) they not only won but then showed themselves to be dickheads.

Pitching an Air Bud spin-off of The Pitt to Netflix and getting beaten to death by executives after requesting the dogs be members of Local Air Bud 755

It is 2026 and people are still sitting down and writing this shit

I also like to make up things in order to get mad at them

I can't believe a bunch of rich kids from Oakland County, Michigan would love Trump, the guy the county voted for 3 times

Rip mom you would have loved this

Introducing:

The mystery gym smear

Fuck it why not.

I'm Joe and host @lionsledbydonkeys.bsky.social

I have at least one book coming out this spring/summer (fantasy)

If you want me to come on your show, DM me.

Not to mention sid being out and Canada having a hard time closing out games during the tournament. Curious what the issues were

And the US PK going 100% throughout the tournament was huge.

It was one of the best games I've ever watched. Without helly it would have been like 5-1, not to mention some seriously missed chances by Canada. McKinnon is going to have nightmares about that miss

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I wouldn't be surprised if half the dudes in the dressing room had no idea who he was but there are definitely at least 3 or 4 people who absolutely would have invited him