big guy (Dad)

doing a schizoanalysis of the maze on the back of this box of froot loops and now I know where they’re keeping my stolen organs

let’s send Biden there for treatment

playing Mario kart with gf and she keeps calling these guys “potato head men”

I can lift my hand using only my mind…

doing a schizoanalysis of the maze on the back of this box of froot loops and now I know where they’re keeping my stolen organs

I did a “schizoanalysis” of Jimmy Fallon’s hand gestures during the tonight show and concluded that I must kill the mailman

bought the wrong ticket and accidentally went to Amsterdang. it’s hella cheap there but the weed SUCKS

I made a friend today! I made him out of meat 😊 specifically dolphin meat 🐬 he’s not a “dolphin” per se but he’s a classic gemini! ♊️he just doesn’t stop talking! 🗣️ talk talk talk talk talk ahaha he won’t shut the fuck UP! it’s actually really starting to drive me CRAZY!!!

i’m sort of like a “Shopaholic” but for drinking booze

when the sigur ros guy sang "achoo" 12 times over an aching and hypnotic three chord progression that lasted long enough to make a whole pot of macaroni and cheese...I felt that

🎶do you belieeeve, we made a man out of meat / man out of meeeeat 🎶

I am apoplectic about this. The first thing you say about Ted Bundy is that he killed women, and then if you really feel like it you can talk about how charming he was or whatever. The first thing you say about RFK is that he’s pro-measles.

grocers

philosophers are always inventing concepts like “the blonkus” and then immediately saying stuff like “the existing scholarship does not systematically reckon with the category of the blonkus”

you dumb fucking motherfucker

I am too dimensional

the tallest boys stand in awe of you

We used to have Bob Eggs, Steve Nintendo, Johnny No Plane Crash. No we have no eggs, no Nintendo, many plane crash.

Nice emotional prison, dude! Is it of your own making?

Shit 4: Brains

I honestly don't understand what the other guys trapped in the convection oven are complaining about. It's a dry heat, it's fine, it's the humidity that kills you.

I made a friend today! I made him out of meat 😊 specifically dolphin meat 🐬 he’s not a “dolphin” per se but he’s a classic gemini! ♊️he just doesn’t stop talking! 🗣️ talk talk talk talk talk ahaha he won’t shut the fuck UP! it’s actually really starting to drive me CRAZY!!!

if you are a human being who makes mistakes you are a BAD person.

i'm saying this with great vehemence and force: we must free him

(Reducing my country’s economy by half a trillion dollars in three months) I am Mr deals

it’s!

sometimes when i smoke weed i hallucinate that i’m really high

For some people, punk is WAY more than just a lifestlye. It's also the punk music you listen to, and the clothes you wear. It's even knowing about shoelaces.