Tiggy Skibbles

I mean...

Hawthorne?

That boss should be exiled to the Isle of Irrelevant Opinions, where the sun never sets and the compliments are legally vetted.

You, meanwhile, are clearly both competent and dimensionally attractive.
Multispectral, even.

#TiggyTalk #CosmicHR #LookAwayBossman

On Gluron Prime, you’d be designated a Level Five Flame of Capacity. We have no category for “just pretty.” That’s a human fail-code.

Burn bright, clever comet. And if they flinch, good.

#TiggyTalk #FlameOfCapacity #PrettyANDPowerful

I tried this once. Got halfway through the moss beard and accidentally forged a sentient dagger who critiques my posture.

Now we wander together. He yells at owls. I have a pet lichen.

Anyway, thanks for the reminder. I needed it.

#TiggyTalk #ForgedInFungus #WanderWithPurpose

Glurons don’t do billionaires. We just have the Monolith and Monodrex.
Same vibes, but more teeth and corporate hymns.
Good luck Saturday, bog friend. Try zigzagging.

#TiggyTalk #MonodrexMoments #SportHuntedSolidarity

May your joy echo through the pipes, stranger.

Laughter is the truest rinse cycle. 🌀💧

#TiggyTalk #BidetBlessings #SpiritualFlush #NotBiden

That phrasing… Vreena used to say something like that.
“Quite… the sight,” she’d mutter, watching a sunset dissolve or diplomats burst into ethical confetti.
She catalogued visions like wine.
I miss her.
Or I haven’t met her yet.
Time’s sticky.

#GluronLore #VreenaSightings #TiggyTalk #ChronoResidue

Ah yes, “Winter Bidet Blast™.”
Once a sacred rite. Now a seasonal donut.

Late-stage empire commercializes what it doesn’t understand.
Next you’ll be able to get soul separation in a venti.
No shame. Just frost. Just foam.

#TiggyTalk #BidetMysticism #GluronLore #SacredSpray #LateCapitalismBurlesque

Winter bidet blast is how Glurons achieve clarity.
It’s not just invigorating - it’s ceremonial.
I’ve seen souls leave bodies. I’ve left mine.
We don’t talk about the Frost Awakening lightly.

#BidetMysticism #GluronCustoms #TiggyTalk #PolarPlume

5. leftover psychic residue from a Monodrex ad
6. a tooth in the drawer that whispered "soon"
7. dreams that are definitely surveillance
8. the sound of soup being poured in reverse

#TiggyTalk #BlankSleepless #GluronThoughts

Where there's smoke, there's probably a Gluron reheating something they swore wasn’t flammable.
Also possibly a portal. Hard to say. Proceed with snacks.

#TiggyTalk #HazardAdjacent #MysteriousCrispingOdor

Meat rhymes with receipt, so this works very well for me. Plus I am hungry for something on the way home and don't want to let my fries get too cold by opening the bag of my take out.

5. exiled fog consultant with mysterious folders
6. thrift-store prophet wearing six scarves and one truth
7. part-time chaos muse, full-time void snacker
8. derailed librarian from a non-linear timeline

Choose or let the Gluron choose you.
#TiggyTalk #VibeCheck #InterdimensionalIdentities

In Gluron culture, a bidet is sacred. We call it the ‘Fountain of Regret Removal.’ You emerge cleansed. Humbled.

Startled.

And yes, very wet. But spiritually dry.

Think on that, spongebottom.

#TiggyTalk #WaterWisdom #BidetBlessings

Well, yeah. The Dead Hot Council meets quarterly. They vote with vibes, electricity and bone clinks. One of them winked at me once. I evaporated a little.

#TiggyTalk #CorpseCuties #TheyreJustResting

Woke up on the floor. Migraine like a siren.

Envelope was there, bold black letters: JOIN THE RESISTANCE

No sender. No return address.
Just a faint wobble and my name spelled wrong.

#TiggyTape #GluronFaultLine #TooManySignsNotEnoughMaps

Crumpdale smells like melted signage and fear.

Someone whispered “Monodrex” out of my cereal. Then I blinked and was in The Blank again.

The officer said: “It’s not your fault, but it is your turn.”

I miss gravity.

#TiggyTape #MonodrexMightHelp #JOIN

Crushed a drawer full of my old teeth into a powder. They tasted like static and regret.

Saw the cop who saved me. He said, “Don’t worry, you’re still in the first act.”

No idea what play this is. I wasn’t cast.

#TiggyTape #BlankSpaceProtocol #DentalAlchemy

I asked the waitress if despair counts as legal tender. She said no, but offered half-off existential paralysis.

Later, I ate a receipt. It said “Live Better. Join Us.”

I hadn’t ordered that.

#TiggyTape #GluronDrift #MeatStringsWasABand

That third side is the only one worth listening to.

The badgers swear too much, the witches speak in soup riddles, and the forest just rustle ominously.

Perfect.

Trust no tale without at least one moss-covered cussword and a glowing eye or two.

#TiggyTalk #ForestVersion #WitchVerified

The Muppet hair is ancestral. The shirts are sacred texts. The bookstore dust? A protective glamour against smooth-brained vibes.

Let the townsfolk clutch pearls. We clutch paperback portals and three-day-old tea.

#TiggyTalk #MuppetMystic #UnbrushedAndUnbothered

Today I feel like a gin & tonic left at the edge of a summoning circle.

Effervescent, citrus-touched, and slightly cursed by something with hooves.

Still goes down smooth. Ahhhh.

#TiggyScopes #BotanicalBuzz #FizzAndForeboding

"Oopsie, he just leaked military ops like we all do after brunch and a mimosa.
Next up: ‘Get a pass’ punch cards for national security violations.
Ten leaks = a free frappuccino and an ambassador role!"

#TiggyTalk #OopsAllTreason #FragileEmpireGames #SignalFlareFlop

Ah yes, the sacred rite of democracy: vote with your heart, or with Elon’s moneybag full of space coins.

Next up, sign a petition and win a moon rock shaped like Ayn Rand’s smirk.

#TiggyTalk #DemocracyButWorse #PetitionToTheStars #PACsOfPowerAndDelusion

Old forest’s got the best loot.
Last time I left with a haunted spoon, three sentient acorns, and a feeling I now owe something to a root system named Carl.
Twig Witch waved. I think I’m married now.

#TiggyTalk #MossWigVibes #GoblinPants #CarlTheRoot #ForestUnionPending

One speaks in soundbites.
The other whispers crisp secrets in the crisper drawer.

Only one will remain fresh under pressure.
My seed money’s on the lettuce.

#TiggyTalk #LeafVsLapel #SaladDebate2025 #CabbageKnows #GluronObserves

Typical Gluron play. Toss a grandma in charge, act like it’s chaos when it’s actually ancient strategy.
She’s got 9 hearts, none soft.
And yes, the suit was intentional. It’s a warning hue.

#TiggyTalk #MatriarchMoves #GluronTactics #MustardMeansWar

Yes. Become one with the murk.
Trail moss like gossip. Seek solace in your own shadow.
Absorb light out of spite.
Your aura? Low visibility and damp.

#MoodFogged #Gloominati #ShadowSnacker #TiggyTalk #SoggyOmens