To think I'd ever be actually happy and wouldn't get hit with the with the sledgehammer of life again was extremely foolish and i suppose a worthless use of time of convincing myself that i could become better. Truely.

Breathing just isn't very fun anymore

Suddenly very not okay

Never trying again
This was the exception
And im not even enough
If you believed anything you apparently say you felt towards me. You wouldn't of done this. Youd of stopped and thought. You didnt. You decided weeks ago, for the both of us. Thanks for that.

That probably it
That's the last one. No more happy chances
If thats it then i guess im done done trying. Why . It too kevetything for m3 toctrust. Everything

Just giving up
The one exception i allowed myself. Allowed mt slef to trust in and fo hewd fi4er into things and it ends. Basically the sae. Im never enough cfor anyone ever. And yrt also too fucking much

Communication is difficult but absolutely fucking key ehy do the people o love.just don't even try when it fucking matters. When its important shit. When i say you need tome and space i dont mewne decide in 3 minutes and ignore and distance fro m.e what the fuck

I dont know what cruel fucking joke life wants to tell me but fuck off would you. I just am forced to wait and wait wand wait a d theres never communication i thought.communcarion was good why do3s it all move so fast and why am i never enough for anyone or anyth

Dislike breathing

I feel sick
And im scared. I think. I don't know

kinda hate existing

you ever try to not cry so hard yo u get a splitting headache and it feels like a blood vessel is going to burst

Literally zero point in tryna use the services and apparent aids that are supposed to be provided. Why give someone 93 pages of your mental health history, why try work it out and make it easy to be torn apart and broken down when they can just go LOL YOURE FUCKED AND WE DONT CAAAAAAAAARE GL HF

offically diagnose you because LOL fuck yourself?

i hate it here, i hate breathing. Whats the point in tryna better myself.
Im past my fuckign expiery date and i wanna break things and frankly off myself. Ive tried so hard to get anywhere with this shit and noone fucking care Noone hyelps. its bs

worhtless. waste of time. pointless waste of life this shit is.
herea i thought id try be better this year and get healthly and understand my problems so i could work them out but they wont even offer me services or someone to talk to its just done, finished, end of, youre autistic but we cant

because of "not enough evidence in your history as a child"

Fuck you mean
im 28
im autistic now. im suffering now. i need help. NOW.

I cant fucking remember anything about my childhood. because of the TRUAMA youre telling that i have.
Fucking what
Why do i need to remember being 4 years old for it

fuck everything to do with this fucking country and mental health and support for people with issues.
i knew its been shit, i know its shit, i know noone fucking cares.

But youcant TELL me that im autistic and in the same fucking sentence DENY diagnosing me. what hte fuck is wrong with you

be really cool if my brain would be fine with other people having moments of happy without getting all selfish and stupid about it

starting to wish i never bothered getting throug hthe process for obtaining adhd meds because fucking hell i shouldve just sat asnd suffered instead.
Being somewhat productive is kinda good sometimes but when its not or when i cant get the meds my life is fucked and its 300x worst than it was before

I often don't feel trans 'enough' and that i don't entirely fit into the community even tho I've been actively helping make a safe space for us who need it in person.
A dumb juxtaposition of knowing I'm actually able to be a visible existing being for others while getting like I'm an outcast or smth

I can feel my lungs functioning

I can feel my lungs functioning

Srsly theres like zero fucking starter packs of feeds?
I have one from work i joined this place and it's like, deserted. Even tho the artists are posting still the feed isn't upsated. Why. Where's the gay baky. Wtf

Where the fuck is all the homoerotic art on bsky at. Where is it. It used to be findable. Now i cant find gay girls in each others thtoats. What hell is this. Where's the gay art at

:))))))

would really much appreciate not having bipolar mood swings and panics and brain mushes the moment i feel any amount alone or such. hate this

When the workers have enthusiasm for manufacturing. They produce. Bread

Having dreams where i g3t violent against family and pack up and leave due to them being horrible and gross at me and trans stuff is a conflicting situation.

Worse so when its hyper realistic, in the roomim sleeping in dreams. And i wake up in a sweat fearing attack. What the fuck brain. Stop

i really am not a fan of anxiety
or phone calls
or 'important' phone calls blowing me off for almost a year
and ruining several of my days for weeks on end.
i fucking hate anxiety.
send me a damn email.
it could be an email.
stop ruining my mental state by existing only via phone lines.
my god.
ugh

Why do i feel so alone