Just as the dish comes out, the shul president walks by on the sidewalk. Panicking, the rabbi shouts, “Oy, would you look how they serve an apple here?!”
20.01.2026 15:35 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Just as the dish comes out, the shul president walks by on the sidewalk. Panicking, the rabbi shouts, “Oy, would you look how they serve an apple here?!”
20.01.2026 15:35 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Classic joke:
On vacation, a rabbi walks into a non-kosher restaurant and thinks “Eh, why not?" He asks for a seat outside and decides if he’s gonna do it, he's gonna go big. He orders a whole roasted suckling pig, complete with an apple in its mouth.
12 is the only acceptable score
(even though gefilte fish is gross)
REPORT: Researchers have discovered a sixth love language — fresh sufganiyot
22.12.2025 02:45 — 👍 12 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Just watched my kids play dreidel for 20 minutes and I thought wow kids are so easily entertained and then I realized I just watched my kids play dreidel for 20 minutes
19.12.2025 15:27 — 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
At the museum, I saw a menorah with a 2000 year old oil stain.
Yup. Ancient Greece…
Two ultimate truths in this world:
1. Hashem is one
2. No woman wearing a dress with pockets will EVER fail to mention it has pockets upon receiving a compliment on said dress
The Strait of Hormuz sounds like something you’d find on a seder plate
23.06.2025 18:41 — 👍 7 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0OF COURSE this happened on Shabbos
22.06.2025 02:33 — 👍 17 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0I haven’t seen two titans clash like this since Hillel and Shammai
06.06.2025 00:03 — 👍 10 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 1This really has been the best season of The Apprentice yet
05.06.2025 21:11 — 👍 6 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
Why do teenagers only count odd days of the Omer?
Because, like, they totally can’t even.
28.05.2025 00:35 —
👍 8
🔁 1
💬 0
📌 0
How I think I look on Lag B’Omer vs how I really look
16.05.2025 14:57 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Fun Fact: Lag B’Omer is the day Jewish barbers earn their mane income
16.05.2025 12:43 — 👍 11 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Where do you buy stuff for a lag b’omer cookout?
Kohls.
Moishe tells his mom he's in love and says, "I'm gonna bring over 3 women and you try to guess which one I'm gonna marry." The next day, he brings 3 women home.
“Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm gonna marry." She replies, “The one on the right."
"Amazing. How did you know?
"I don't like her."
Omer Simpson
11.05.2025 16:53 — 👍 16 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Mathematics? Pfft. Give me a pope that double majored in Jewish philosophy and Talmudic studies
09.05.2025 02:29 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
When cardinals flip out in yeshiva
09.05.2025 01:40 — 👍 9 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
We don’t throw away perfectly good Shabbos leftovers in my house.
We put it in Tupperware, wait for it to go bad, and then we throw it away.
I, for one, like counting the Omer with Roman numerals
28.04.2025 23:13 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
For Sefirat HaOmer this year, I bought my kids beads for an abacus.
It's the little things that count.
Me with cookies after pesach
22.04.2025 17:24 — 👍 7 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
BREAKING: King Solomon shared military plans on group chat which included his 1000 wives
21.04.2025 22:17 — 👍 115 🔁 8 💬 2 📌 3At the seder I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor 😩
16.04.2025 20:47 — 👍 16 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
That moment you finish Passover cleaning
10.04.2025 17:06 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
09.04.2025 01:42 —
👍 11
🔁 3
💬 1
📌 1
Smells just like Bubbe’s house
06.04.2025 01:09 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0