A.D. 👻

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archiveofourown.org/works/640208...

If you read this on Tumblr when it originally aired back in November, read this one, too!

It's COMPLETELY redone! Revamped!

REWRITTEN!!! :D

Now on AO3!

Don't forget to comment!

archiveofourown.org/works/640208...

Just realized I haven’t explained here yet, but I’m lowkey taking a small little bit of a break from writing/uploading bc I fucked my wrist up and I’m in a brace now and I’m trying to rest my hand up and fix it before my schoolwork gets too heavy. Doctor’s orders!

I just got an ai comment on this I think and I’m gonna cry 😭😭😭

Brand new original chapter on ao3!

archiveofourown.org/works/631365...

Brand new original chapter on ao3!

archiveofourown.org/works/631365...

29/12/2023
#Guapoduo #Guapoduofanart

Updated with Part Nine!

Updated with Part Nine!

As Cellbit is getting ready to head home, Roier sidles up next to him in the entryway. "Thanks for coming," he quietly says. Cellbit gives him an assuring smile. "It's no problem. Just ask, and I'll come again. I promise." "Ah, I get it." Roier sighs, hangs his head with a second, more put-upon sigh. "You don't want to see me unless I have food. I get it, it's fine." Alarmed, Cellbit grabs him loosely by the arm. "What? No! I just-" Roier chuckles and shakes his head. He looks back up, smiling slightly. "I'm messing with you, man. I get it." They talked a lot once they were finished and once Leonarda was busy doing the dishes. They talked about the menu, about Cellbit's next job, about the artistic value (or lack thereof) of the Adobe Suite. They did not talk about Bagi, and they did not talk about either of their injuries. No mention of Hombre Misterioso, and nothing about the heroes investigating them.

"You have my number," Cellbit reminds Roier. "Keep texting me. It's... nice." He slaps himself internally. 'Keep texting me. It's nice.', what the hell? Felps is right. He really does need to talk to more people; he sounds like a complete idiot. Roier laughs. "Yeah, yeah. It's nice for me, too." ...But at least Roier is willing to humor him. Cellbit feels his smile go a little goofy at Roier's laugh even though he's heard it plenty of times over the past hour and a half. Maybe it's because they're standing so close to each other, or maybe it's his pain medication starting to wear off. He takes a step backwards towards the door. Clearing his throat, he says, "I, uh. I should go. My own babysitter is probably losing his mind right now." (Felps probably doesn't even care, but Cellbit needs to give himself an excuse to leave.)

Roier nods easily. "Take care, okay?" he says. His smile sharpens. "Don't get hit by any more busses." "You, too," Cellbit laughs. Roier just winks. Cellbit's stomach goes a little funny at that, but this, he supposes, is just what friendship is like. Good soup, and funny feelings. (And, God, he's excited for more.)

7.

"O-Oh," says Roier. He closes his mouth and turns his face away, lowering his spoon back into his bowl. By the way his eyes are squinting up and his mouth is twitching, it's pretty obvious that he, too, is trying not to laugh. But it's only a second before he's looking back at Cellbit with wide eyes glittering with amusement. "Me, too, man," he says. "Look at me!" He spreads his arms out wide... well, he spreads his left arm out. His right arm more or less stays in place. Leonarda whispers something that Cellbit is pretty sure translates to, "Oh my God." The rats go back to their crumbs, no longer interested. Cellbit smiles uncertainly. He laughs weakly. "That's crazy, what the fuck?" Roier nods vehemently. "The public transportation in this city is crazy, I'm telling you! I went on the bus the other day-" "Before one hit you?" "Mhmm. But I got on, and there was freaking Hombre Misterioso! Just in the back row! With, like, a scythe and stuff! It was crazy!"

"Hombre Misterioso doesn't have a scythe," Leonarda argues. "You're stupid." "Oh, yeah?" Roier counters, eyes narrowing. "Who saw them, hm? Was it you?" Cellbit raises his good hand slightly. Roier reaches over and lowers it for him. Stifling a smile, Cellbit picks his spoon back up. Leonarda, despite being the captain of the current group of Junior Heroes, is still just a little girl being bullied by her big brother. So, naturally, she sends her rats to attack him. Cellbit watches passively as Roier screams and kicks the rats away as they continually keep trying to climb his chair and his legs. The soup is really good.

"I think you should add this to the menu," he eventually says. Roier, mid-kick, looks at him with a shy smile. "You think so?" Cellbit immediately nods. "Absolutely. It's incredible, really." The rats all stop climbing as Leonarda whistles again. They scramble out of sight, but not out of mind. "You two suck," she declares. She glares at Roier, who innocently bats his eyelashes at her. "I hate when you have friends." "Aww, are you jealous?" he teases. "Pobre Leonardiña..." Leonarda throws her spoon at him. Ah, siblings...

6.

She's a hero, alright. Cellbit really doesn't watch the news, but he's forced to hear about the Junior Heroes enough between Bagi's old war stories and Tubbo's complaints to Pac and Mike and the newsletters Richarlyson's school sends home once a month. There are currently three Junior Heroes on active duty: Kid Bomber, Butterfly, and the one standing in front of him: the apparent new captain, Princess Animalia. Roier waves his hand annoyedly at his sister and snaps something in Spanish that makes her sulk slightly. She continues gathering the silverware in silence.

Five minutes later, the three of them are sitting at Roier's very expensive solid mahogany dining table eating something called Caldo de Pollo. It's good, even if Cellbit doesn't exactly know what it is. "It's good for when you're sick," Roier explains. "Like me." He coughs into his elbow dramatically. Leonarda wrinkles her nose and scoots her chair and bowl a good few feet down the table away from him. Cellbit nods politely. "Right. My parents used to make something like this when I was sick." All that seems to be missing from Roier's soup is rice. Otherwise, the two soups would probably be identical. (Probably; Cellbit is not a soup expert.) "Really?" Roier asks. "That's cool." He almost sounds legit. But he's also staring right at Cellbit's arm sling. And he hasn't stopped staring since they all sat down.

Cellbit decides to give himself a clever out with a lie so perfectly crafted that it's foolproof. He said that he was fine over the phone a week ago, but who knows what Bagi told Roier when she was bullying him. But he knows Bagi well enough to know that she wouldn't tell anybody about her letting a civilian get his ass beat after leaving him handcuffed in a police car just a few feet away from a hero-villain fight that she should've been stopping. So: a clever, perfect, brilliant lie. "I got hit by a bus yesterday," he blurts out. He immediately winces; that was not what he meant to say! There's a moment of pure silence in the room. Roier is paused with his spoon halfway to his open mouth. Leonarda is audibly trying not to laugh, whimpering giggles into the palm of her hand. Even the rats, still in the kitchen and munching on some crushed-up chips, stare.

5.

The open kitchen is to the left, behind the television. There's a large dining table between the two spaces and a fancy-looking granite breakfast bar; there are only three chairs at the table, and there are only three stools at the bar. Roier runs around the kitchen with an energy that Cellbit doesn't think he's seen outside of reality cooking shows. He seems completely in his element as he stirs the big metal pot on the stove and opens the fridge and washes a bowl left on the counter next to the sink and- "My dad's a cop, you know," Leonarda continues. "And I'm a hero, so you gotta tell me what happened, okay?" She leans in real close, still not tearing her eyes away from her show, and she whispers conspiratorially, "Was it Hombre Misterioso?" ...A hero.

Finally, Cellbit turns his head to look down at her, a small frown on his face. "You're a hero?" he asks. She nods proudly, sitting up straight and adjusting her hat and shooting him a smirk. "I'm a Junior Hero. You've probably heard of me." In the kitchen, Roier groans, "Nobody cares! Come here and help me set the table." "I don't watch the news," Cellbit tells Leonarda. "Sorry." She huffs out of her nose in clear disappointment. She stands, tosses a handful of candy wrappers onto the table, and goes to the kitchen. As she goes, she whistles a sharp little note that sets Cellbit's teeth on edge. Not exactly wanting to stay and watch a children's cartoon by himself, Cellbit gets up and follows Leonarda. "I'm kind of a big deal, you know," she brags. "I'm the captain now that-" She cuts herself off with a slight wince. Her head snaps towards Roier, whose back is to the two of them as he stands in front of the stove.

"Sit down, Cellbit," Roier says, shoulders stiff. "Leo, ven aquí." Cellbit, the guest, sits at the table. Leonarda hurries into the kitchen, not arguing, and gets to work on grabbing silverware and bowls. She has to get on her toes to reach what appears to be the bowl cabinet; Cellbit frowns, tensed to rush in and help just in case, but- She looks at the floor and points at the cabinet and says, "Bochas." And then, much to Cellbit's surprise, a pack of three good-sized white rats clamber onto the counter and make a sort of assembly line. One rat hops into the cabinet next to the bowls, another climbs onto a box beneath the cabinet, another stays on the counter. Cellbit watches in vague astonishment as the rats dutifully transport three ceramic bowls down to Leonarda, who stacks them and marches them to Roier, who questions absolutely none of it. Noticing Cellbit's dropped jaw, Leonarda smirks and turns around to face him, hands on her hips. "See?" she boasts. "I'm a hero."

4.

Roier looks rough: double, fading black eyes making him look like a raccoon; a white bandage stuck over the bridge of his nose; a bruised left cheek. Messy hair held out of his face by a neon pink headband, a Spider-Man-themed apron stained with whatever-the-fuck. He's favoring one leg clearly as he leans against the doorway with an easy grin on his face, and his right arm is stiff at his side like he's trying not to move it. God, what did Bagi do to him? "Cellbo!" Roier cheers, voice just as rough as his appearance. A small face peeks out from beside him curiously. Her hair is long and black, and the purple baseball cap on her head looks easily three sizes too big for her. She has stickers on her cheeks- hearts and ice cream cones and little poop emojis. Finally, Cellbit has a face for Roier's infamous little sister and supposed 'babysitter', Leonarda. "Hello," Cellbit first tells Leonarda. She narrows her eyes at him. Blinks a few times. Eases up, waves, ducks back into the apartment. Smacks Roier's ribs on the way. Roier wheezes and instinctively tries to cover his side with his arm, but said arm is his right one, and all he manages to do is make himself hiss in pain and almost fall over right in the doorway.

He narrowly catches himself, stumbling briefly, before looking at Cellbit with a small pout. "What," he asks, "no 'hi' for me?" This cannot be the flu. Or a cold. Or whatever the hell it is that Roier is apparently sick with. But Cellbit isn't one to immediately start prying. Despite the allegations, he is not an impulsive mess, thanks So he just lets his smile soften, and he says, "Hi, Roier." Leonarda audibly gags from somewhere out of sight. Roier scowls. "Ignore her, she's just annoyed because she has to actually share my cooking today." His nose twitches, and his eyes widen in panic. "La sopa!" he exclaims. Without a second thought, he turns and runs into the apartment, leaving Cellbit alone in the entryway. After a brief second, he hears a shouted, "Come in!" With a small, amused sigh, Cellbit walks into Roier's apartment and closes the door behind him.

He's immediately greeted with an entire wall made of windows. The apartment's main room is sparsely decorated- just an expensive-looking leather couch and an even-more-expensive-looking television and a coffee table with a mountain of candy wrappers on it, but who needs decoration when you have the entire city to look at? The other walls are all painted a deep wine red. No photographs or paintings are on them, unlike the walls at the restaurant. There's a security panel by the front door, but that's it. Awkwardly, Cellbit settles on the couch next to Leonarda. He rests his good hand on his lap, back stiff as a rod. He stares right at the television. (Moon Cows!!!, yep, he knew it.) "Um," he says, "my son likes this show." Leonarda responds by picking up a new piece of candy from the big purple bowl next to her and offering it to him, not sharing even a glance in his direction. "Who beat you up?" she asks. Cellbit responds by unwrapping the candy and popping it into his mouth, not sharing even a glance in her direction.

3.

It's easy enough to find Roier's apartment, even without the apartment number saved in their text conversation: all Cellbit has to do is follow the smell of meat and spices. He stands in front of Roier's apartment door, hand hesitating over it. He should... knock. He should knock, Roier knows he's coming. ...Roier does not know about Cellbit's injury. Roier also doesn't know that Cellbit almost got him killed. Roier also doesn't know that Cellbit is the reason why Bagi went and interrogated him. The television is on inside; it sounds like it's playing one of the cartoons that Richarlyson is obsessed with at max volume. Moon Cows!!!, Cellbit thinks. Not something he'd expect Roier to be watching, so one of his 'babysitters' must be with him. (Great. More people to try and lie to.) Cellbit shifts on his feet, adjusting his weight so his spine protests in anger. He lets out a breath through his nose, grounds himself in the pain.

He knocks on the door twice and puts a smile on his face that is only sort of a lie. And he waits. And he waits. And he waits. And- The door opens slightly, just enough for Cellbit to be able to make out the color of the walls inside of the apartment- red- and a small, purple, child-shaped blob looking up at him suspiciously. Cellbit looks at the blob. The blob looks at him. And then the door slams shut. Someone starts shouting in Spanish in a high-pitched voice. Roier starts shouting back, also in Spanish. (Something, something, Man At The Door, something, something, Boyfriend, something, something...) Cellbit's hand slips into his pocket as he waits for the family argument to end.

Siblings, he thinks, not at all jealous. (At all.) He listens as Roier and his sister keep yelling at each other. He only flinches a little as he hears loud, angry footsteps approaching the door. He tries not to panic as the argument inside threatens to go physical, with Roier threatening to throw his sister out the window and her saying that she hopes he gets pneumonia. There's an audible scuffle, and the shiny gold doorknob shakes and rattles as it's fought over. Then, suddenly, the door swings wide open, and Cellbit is face-to-face with Roier.

2.

Roier's apartment is only a few minutes away from his restaurant. The building it's in is nice- nicer than anything Cellbit has ever been in. It's one of the De Luques', he thinks; it's fancy enough to be. The apartment is on the thirteenth floor, so Cellbit limps into the elevator and tries not to look too out of place among all the rich people already inside. (He glances down at his arm sling and his untied shoes and decides that it's probably too late for that.) Cellbit's phone is off. This is for one very good reason: he is not supposed to be out of the apartment. He isn't even supposed to be using his arm, but here he is. Using it. Outside of his apartment. (He can practically hear Bagi's complaining now: "Cellbit, what the fuck, you know that you aren't supposed to be doing anything, I am going to kill you if you die, stop being stupid, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.") His arm hurts like a bitch. So does his back, and his ears are ringing slightly from the pain. But it'll all be worth it when he gets upstairs and finally, finally gets to taste the soup that Roier has been texting him pictures of for almost a week straight.

Roier is, apparently, a little sick. His restaurant is closed due to lack of staff (he can't exactly run a restaurant with a cold), so he's been using his time off to come up with new dishes and adjust old ones. He's also been sending Cellbit whispered, raspy voice messages complaining about his live-in babysitters. He's also been kicking Cellbit's ass at 8-Ball. He's also been texting Cellbit random Spanish swear words and claiming they're actually perfectly normal words that Cellbit should definitely use in actual, real conversations with native Spanish speakers. Pendejo, Cellbit thinks. (That one, so far, is his favorite.) Originally, Roier wanted him to stop by the restaurant. But then, just this morning, he sent Cellbit his home address and told him that his ribs hurt too much from coughing for him to make the trip to the restaurant, and Cellbit gets it; his own ribs are more than a little sore with all the walking he's been doing so far today after almost two weeks of forced rest. So: Roier's apartment.

The elevator goes up slowly. The music playing is from some old pop album that Cellbit can't recognize. The walls are all mirrors, and the floor is white enough to rival snow. Awkwardly, Cellbit adjusts the strap of his sling so it isn't digging too heavily into his shoulder. (God, what he'd do to have Felps with him right now...) There's a tv panel above the elevator's buttons and the floor counter. It's showing an advertisement- apparently, the Junior Heroes really are recruiting again. Cellbit unconsciously wrinkles his nose. But, before any of the people in the elevator can comment on him or his stupid annoyed face, the elevator reaches floor thirteen. Cellbit rushes out of the elevator and heads down the hall to the left to where Roier's apartment should be. The building is. Nice. Very modern, very. Nice. The purple carpet is plush enough for Cellbit's shoe to legitimately sink into it with every step, and the walls' expensive-looking wood paneling is shiny enough that Cellbit can see his reflection looking at him as he walks by. There are cameras above every apartment's door and then some, which is probably overkill; who would be stupid enough to steal from one of Vegetta de Luque's buildings?

1.

Part Nine:

Pomegranate Seeds/Once Upon a Time chapter two on ao3 now!!

We're all up to date!

archiveofourown.org/works/631365...

Pomegranate Seeds/Once Upon a Time chapter two on ao3 now!!

We're all up to date!

archiveofourown.org/works/631365...

Now on Ao3!!

archiveofourown.org/works/631365...

Now on Ao3!!

archiveofourown.org/works/631365...

Part Two is now up!

Yippee!! Be sure to let me know what you think, or if you have any theories or anything!

Would anybody be interested in an ao3 upload of this? I’ll only do one if you guys want one (and promise to comment /lh)

Part Two is now up!

Yippee!! Be sure to let me know what you think, or if you have any theories or anything!

(And, somehow, Cellbit feels like another deal has been made.)

8.

Chaos' smile flickers; Cellbit doesn't have to See him to know he's confused. "Nothing, man," he answers. "We're even." No way... Rain starts to fall again. Cellbit frowns. "I'm sorry?" Chaos shrugs, unsure; Cellbit Knows it. "We're even," the God of Chaos repeats. "You don't owe me anything. We're good, man. Don't worry about it." Okay, but Cellbit is worrying. They're even, but he hasn't done anything for them to be even over. And he Knows how the gods work: nothing comes for free; payment usually comes in the form of worship, but Cellbit is done with praying. So...

Uncomfortably, Cellbit says, "You... mentioned going to your place back at the-" Chaos cuts him off, wide-eyed and frozen in place. "Ah, no! No, no! No, I was just trying to- to help! We don't have to-" Cellbit visibly relaxes. "Oh, thank the gods," he wheezes, hiding his face in his hands. (The makeup smells like sweat and blood by now, but he ignores it.) A pause. Then: "You're welcome?" Cellbit can't help it. He laughs, a sharp little bark of a thing that surprises himself with how sudden it is. Eyes closed, he can clearly See the God of Chaos' true monstrous form smiling in sheer obvious deligh. Cellbit's tail flickers in annoyance. His ears threaten to lay flat in fear. The God of Chaos is delighted by him. Great.

"Tell you what," Chaos says, hidden laughter in his voice, "You want to pay me back? Call me by my name." He pokes Cellbit's forehead where it's peeking out between his fingers. Cellbit lowers his hands and gives Chaos a confused look. The God of Chaos just keeps smiling, and he almost looks human doing it. "I can hear your big brain thinking." Another pause, slightly more awkward. "Not literally!" Chaos is quick to add. "But all you humans are so formal, just. Uh. I'm Roier, okay?"

He extends a gloved hand. Cellbit looks at it for a long, unsure moment. Hesitantly, he takes it. "Cellbit," he replies. "I know," Roier, the God of Chaos, grins.

7.

(He gasped, "What was it?" He shot him a sharp glare. "Patience, Prophet. I was about to get to it." He cleared His throat, and then He continued: "In front of the fox's den was the Farmer beating the fox's kits with a cudgel. "The rabbit quickly appeared by the fox's side holding the empty bottle. "'I brought them the water,' said the rabbit. 'But then I realized that we would never have enough water in the forest if we have to continue quenching so many mouths.' "The fox cried and wept and prayed to His Lordship, but the Farmer continued beating the kits until they were dead. "'Here's the last one!' the rabbit shouted, pointing at the grieving fox. "The fox tried to run, but the Farmer was faster. "As the fox died, the Farmer gave the rabbit a carrot and a fresh bottle filled with water. "And thus the deal was completed.")

6.

"And!" Chaos adds, cutting in before Cellbit can even think of responding. "I've got a feeling those other guys won't be coming for you any time soon." Cellbit nods begrudgingly. "He'll have to come out here and cure them, and that'll take at least an hour per person. Probably more if-" (He grimaces.) "-Lord Knowledge is... occupied." If Chaos picks up on the emphasis or the obvious distaste, he doesn't comment on it. (His eyes do light up- literally!- though, which may be worse.) "Soooo...." The God of Chaos trails off expectantly. Cellbit ducks his head with a tense sigh. Of course.

"You were... very helpful," he admits. "I'd probably dead or back in chains if it wasn't for you." The God of Chaos straightens back up. And then he fist-pumps with a hissed, "Yesssss!" Cellbit decides to bite the bullet and ask the question that's been weighing on him for hours while Chaos is in a good mood: "What do I owe you, then?"

5.

The village must be waking up, because here's a scream so sharp and sudden that it sends a couple of deer running in front of the two of them in a blind panic. The poor people still themselves inside of the tavern must be moving, too, because more and more people are starting to shout and scream, and someone specifically starts yelling about there being a fucking shark inside of the tavern and, oh, gods, is that a fucking dragon!? Cellbit bites back his laugh, just barely. The God of Chaos, though, lets out a little giggle and shoots Cellbit a mischievous look out of the corner of his eye, a smirk on his face. "Well?" he teasingly asks. Cellbit's mouth twitches. "'Well'?"

Chaos takes a step closer, leaning in just so slightly, head tilted towards Cellbit just so slightly. His smirk has turned to a smile; somehow, his humming has continued. "What do you think?" he asks. "Was I helpful?" (Another scream, this one a name.) "'Cause I'm pretty sure they've forgotten allll about you by now."

("The fox," He said, "drank her fill and hurried home. But, when she got there, all she could do was scream.")

4.