mandy potemkin

sorry if this is controversial but i wish covid hadn't happened. people were quite insane enough already

you can get cold brew at Denny's now

us military.... innocent children

if strip law doesn't get a second season because netflix is too stupid to recognize a great thing when they have it, they should make another show with the exact same voice actors and writers. it's just an astonishing amount of talent for one show

lmfao get wrecked

jimmy fallon has such unbelievably rancid vibes. every picture i see of him makes my skin crawl

i need to get better so i can go look at the cherry blossoms. i only have like two weeks before they go back to being regular-ass trees

A screenshot of the Polymarket website showing a prediction market titled "Nuclear weapon detonation by...?" under the Geopolitics and Ukraine categories. The market displays three betting options with their current probabilities and "Buy Yes" or "Buy No" prices: "March 31" at 5%, "June 30" at 12%, and "Before 2027" at 22%. The total trading volume shown is over $843,000.

Polymarket has created a betting market on the use of nuclear weapons. Everyone involved in this should be put in prison for life.

i feel so guilty whenever i send my partner out to get food instead of going myself and i have no idea why. it's never been a point of contention between us, he's never indicated that he doesn't like to do it, i just arbitrarily decided that getting food was my job and then gave myself a complex

what if we made chuck schumer go to israel and stay there and then got new democratic leadership that isn't 1000 years old and evil

Just realized that with Abolish ICE at +11, it's polling over 30 percentage-points ahead of Trump approval. Guess that means if the media wants to be representative, it should give at least like 40% more airtime to people who support abolishing ICE to Trump supporters

"The CIA conspired to make me less cool than I was when I was 25" is the most succinct Gen X manifesto I've ever heard

being sick has been a fun little break from reality but i'm ready to be healthy again. i'm tired of having gunk where my breathing holes should be

We really do need to hammer home reducing police budgets and using them to bolster teacher salaries immediately. The fact we have these massive goon squads playing candy crush all day at their jobs meanwhile teachers are having to get second incomes is frankly embarrassing as a rich country.

If someone put a gun to my head and asked me to name my favorite song I would be like, Okay, okay, let's be cool here, let's lower the gun, we're just talking here, easy, easy, you don't need that, man; look at me, look at me, this is crazy, come on, think about this, we can fix this, it's all right

i'm so sick of takes

Altered WWII propaganda poster. Text: When you (tell jokes) you (laugh) with Hitler! Altered words clearly done on a phone, in parentheses

we should go back to the days where if they couldn’t reach you by phone at home, you were either out at the soda shop with your friends or you were dead

i do not like this harvest moon game but i also cannot stop playing it

nope nope nope. get these dangerous freaks out of here

I am not looking for a politician to explain why blowing up 100 little girls is good

really says something when the only positive news in America is that the president has a rash that looks like a Men in Black alien is almost ready to split from his skin

Walton Goggins as Vegeta

they should invent a long mattress that goes from your bedroom to your kitchen so you can get soup without getting out of bed

craving oats. how do i get my hands on some oats

what about a gritty reboot of mayor mccheese where he shoots people in the head

Twin Peaks Logo Generator Turtle Power!

sick days are confusing because on one hand i feel like shit but on the other hand i'm extremely happy to not be at work and on a third hand lying in bed all day listening to comedy podcasts is one of my favorite ways to spend a day so i'm kind of having a great time