Emmy ˚. !!

I promised I'd take care of her. Protect her. And I'm not doing a very good job of that being here.

I'm so fucking scared for my mom. I feel pathetic that I'm not up there to help her more. I'm trying my best...I'm trying to keep my promise I made with my dad...

Having fears that if I get too overstressed that I'll fall over the edge again and need to be committed...

I've been doing so well but irl things are really making me reach a brink for my unmedicated, unregulated ass.

#okami #大神 🐕🐺

big anxs of being bad in general plus this x.x

i have survived， but i have not been spared.

i am tired of explaining the fire. it burns because it must.

small anxs of being a bad friend and not realising I am...

Two figures, one holding the other in place with a tight grip. He's covered in blood and is getting some on his face. The other figure tries to push him away with a frightened expression

That Unwanted Animal

Thank you for telling me about them 🥰

so why do i still feel so goddamn inferior?

Having a lot of thoughts like this again...

/Lots/ of thoughts of leaving spaces...

The immediate sense of just...overwhelming dampering of everything now that I'm back in the States is...really hard. I don't know if it's just the jetlag or what, but it's not easy being away from him...even harder with how the World sees the States rn ig

I'm sorry I'm like this or like anything I don't mean to be. This is a year I use to just improve, forget about those frets and people. If they didn't care for me why should I care for them anymore?

A consistent thought I have that bubbles up, honestly quite often is the factors of just...disappearing and seeing who actively notices...

I've sat back and watched people fawn over people I've had issues with and it's hard cause maybe I was the issue at the end of it. Seen friends disappear but still be active elsewhere like they never wanted to be around me anyways It's hard, so hard even with constant self assurance and from others

Due to such I get more and more withdrawn from even attempting anything when it comes with things. I already struggle with trust and finding that niche that I can be comfortable in. I know you can't always get along or mesh well with everyone but it's another to feel like /you're/ the problem.

Having rapid thoughts and anxiety about being enough at a friend standpoint

I've been told relatively recently before that I come off as passive aggressive, or that I act like I'm the only one that knows how to do something. That I can be overbearing and too much to handle.

My anxiety is also getting the better of me even if things are....turning to look AWFUL.

I apologize for any aloofness even after I return. Hell even on the off chance something happens and I don't.

All that literally remains over there is things I've packed that are with my mom and the things I've got down South + my cat.

I know things are just things that can be replaced but not with the significance a lot of things I've packed away already have...

Unfortunately saying fears of uncertainties that danger may occur isn't completely valid and I'd need more to add to that reasoning. Since...it's unfortunately still considered a "safe" country...

If things change before I go back on Sunday..........I'm terrified.

Latest news as of late has me nervous to even fly back. Bf is even a bit hesitant on even letting me cause the uncertainty that's going on.

Political asylum IS a thing...but I'd REALLY have to gather up a full valid reasoning to do so.

A pencil sketch portrait of Spinosaurus, the large, sail-backed (and possibly semi-aquatic) dinosaur.

Day 20 of my 2025 charity sketch sale, in aid of my local food bank & MSF.
Today’s sketch - Spinosaurus.
Rules are simple: First person to reply “Mine” gets it.
Minimum donation for each sketch is £15 ( but you can donate more if you are able). Payment via PayPal.

A black bunny with open mouth, appearing to yawn, is on a carpeted surface surrounded by a playpen with hay scattered.

┈┈༺🪞༻ ┈┈

“沖津鏡”
ℑ𝔫𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔍𝔲𝔡𝔤𝔢

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

#大神 #Okami

and she aches just like a woman but she breaks just like a little girl.

A pencil sketch portrait of Megalosaurus, a carnivorous dinosaur from the UK, and the first dinosaur to be formally described.

Day 6 of my 2025 charity sketch sale, in aid of my local food bank & MSF.
Today’s sketch - (another) Megalosaurus.

Rules are simple: First person to reply “Mine” gets it.
Minimum donation for each sketch is £15 ( but you can donate more if you are able). Payment via PayPal.

a cat with tired bitch disease

Today Mood
#tiredbitchdisease