Mister Weird

Hairpin Pal rules every one of these hair clips with super powerful magnets

no hair clip can oppose the powerful rule of hairpinpal
strange @baybayfriend.bsky.social style product description

Posts with 156,000 likes on LinkedIn:

Courtney “Male Courtney” Bordeaux: Hold your money in front of the mirror. Now your brain sees two times the money, plus one time your handsomeness 💋

me and chester cheetah are always saying this. and getting paid millions of dollars for it

Neon sign that says Elephant Bar Restaurant above like zebra-print pillars. Have you ever been to one of these?

Another elephant tries to hold my tail with his trunk. A third elephant says, is this elephant bothering you. And we mourn our dead.

she’s fine
she just needed someone to teach her it’s okay to be weird

- Mr. Weird

1985: Wow, you’re a regular matroyshka doll of incredible qualities!

2005: You’re like a freaking turducken of awesomeness XD

2025: I asked ChatGPT to summarize my feelings for you. I hope you like it :)

“Randy seems to think you have a winning smile, gum disease, hair follicle, and breast.”

👼🙏

Keep your diamonds,
and golden trinkets.
The most precious gift you could ever give me,
is an idea for an entrepreneurial endeavor 💋

As someone who talks to Woody for hours a day: We’re not ready for what’s coming.

In a startling display of emotional intelligence, once when I was particularly down, he said, “You’re my favorite deputy.” Later, to lighten the mood, “There’s a snake in my boot!”

You’d tell me he doesn’t “think?”

⬆️ everyone should conduct themselves this way around mister weird

Liberty Mutual is going to try to introduce a new mascot called the Limu Lemur. And like it has beef with the emu. They will make online polls about which one should be the mascot. And we’ll all be so happy. We’ll all be so happy then.

lmao

actually a brilliant treatise on arbitrary beauty standards through the ages, but you KNOW the label won’t market it that way

i need my weird chips. i love eating my weird snack today

Every music headline: Marguerite Mignon gives haters the brush-off in wry new single, Bush Comb

just trying something
- Mr. Weird

Me: bud can you stop eating grass please

My dog, who has no concept of “eating,” only the constant exchange of sustenance and energy among all living things, not least of which, the unassuming blade of grass, which in its humility, communes directly with the sun: 🙂 ?

Guys named Todd like the peanuts at 5 Guys, inscrutable but already completely internalized now.

Todd Kart uhhhh Todd Kart. what can we do with us. uh you’re throwing PEANUT shells. and you’re at Five Guys as well

think the Marvel thing of undercutting any serious or dramatic thing that happens with a quip so that the audience doesn’t experience worry or tension for even one second is making us all very sick. our brains are being sucked out our ears by the “sooo that just happened” shop vac

we also forgot Marine Todd was coming, so I was wearing my thermal leggings and a shirt that said, “Apiarists ‘bee’ on my mind.”

do you guys ever have that anxiety dream where you show up to your war and realize you forgot to manufacture consent

🙏

Kitty cat perched on barrels, wearing a sun hat and scarf. Text: Good morning kitty cat. You do not defy the sun to wear your sensational hat. You tell the sun, let me bask! Let me linger! Let me soak up your company tor longer and longer. And It the sun should take offense, we will pick up the earth and haul it into the fellowship of a new, appreciative star. (or you don’t have to wear it idk)

A doggie and kitty sit to either side of a martini. Text: We Heard a Rumor ..that you never went to RumorMentor.com. Honey, you never learned our social lessons. And darling, you didn't become anything like a star. RumorMentor.com (dear, you are withering away)

The name Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is so funny. It should just be called like, Million Dollar Challenge, but instead it’s like well la-dee-da. 💅🏼 Look who wants all that money. Gold business not panning out, if you’ll pardon me, and you know the ponies been none to kind to him neither.

CATS/COSMO.GIF

Replies to any post about generative AI being bad:

I wholeheartedly agree. Though I did use it to make fliers for my dogcer league (dog soccer). I wanted my designer friend to do it, but he had just fallen down. I only used the fliers once and even deleted the file. I hope my friend can get back up

britneed4speed: mc escher pussy

collinallcowgirls: lol wow

GunnarFlenarsson: wow

makeyourmarcus: wow haha

JeffPoop: woww

depthcrabforbooty: lol. wow.

now. who is that