Lu

We thought we were cool for not needing braces in high school only to be in Invisalign in our 30s.

Men that can’t wrap a gift should be imprisoned.

That freeing feeling when you no longer care about someone ❤️

Seth holding up action figure on Corrections

Close up of action figure- guy in tank top named "The Masshole"

Side of box with me as Mac Tonight

Back of box with references to a sky diving monologue joke, tank top bit, Oops All Scollins segment from Surprise Inspection and The Scollywood Minute

This is so sick! A dude named Darryl made me an action figure! He was VERY generous with the arms. And the box art kicks ass.

Buy my cart but it’s just a DoorDash order with all the fixings to make a mean torta de jamón

I want Lil Wayne’s fitness guide

I’m not the neighborhood’s only MILF, but I am the neighborhood’s prettiest MILF.

Vacation mode on

The one time a spaceship should’ve gotten stuck in space…

Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped Her Belly

Nipping through my shirt at the grocery store and four firemen walked by me.
God does have favorites.

Accidentally adding my husband to the gang bang group chat. Because I too, like an elected official, am a fucking mess.

Unrelated but I wrote the sketch that birthed this meme and working with Big Bird was the greatest day of my life

Quit your job.

The drool emoji feels so dirty when using it to react to food.

Fuck a horror movie, watch TikTok’s labia waxing vids instead. Instant horror.

(driving my son back to his mom's house in a cybertruck someone spray painted a dick on)

"They're not teaching you vaccines at school are they?"

In my feminist* era.

*I’ve decided to grow out a giant bush.

Omg this is so spot on

The Sunday scaries but it’s just me thinking about how I have to wear a bra again during the day.

Ashamed to admit that the booty leggings got me…

Oh no Steve Bannon is autistic too

Did you delete bc your bestie isn’t on there anymore?

I’ve been posting so much thirst on the gram that all my targeted ads are for snatched leggings and makeup primer lolololo

Hike#8 of the year and a bonus mirror selfie from yesterday bc why not?

I know pointing out hypocrisy doesn’t matter anymore, but if there’s one person I wouldn’t want to be the judge of who goes into locker rooms, it would be the man who openly boasted about walking into dressing rooms of underage girls

Newborn elephant calf by mom’s foot

Newborn elephant calf by mom indoors

Hi baby! Our elephant family welcomed its tiniest member on Saturday night when Rose-Tu gave birth to a new calf 💕🐘

I’m like a cat lady if a cat lady was obsessed with only her dog.

The first 6 hikes of the year I posted on the other site but we’re just going to not dwell on that.